Paranoia Confirmed: Everyone Is Staring At Me

I spend a lot of time telling myself to relax.

Relax, I tell myself. It’s okay that you didn’t have time to straighten your bangs this morning–no one is looking at you. It’s okay that you just said something really stupid to a tourist on the subway–no one is noticing you. No one else really knows you exist. RELAX.

Unfortunately, my seemingly-insane paranoia was validated yesterday.

My boyfriend and I went into a diner that I haven’t been to for about three years. And this is Manhattan, right, so there have been millions of patrons since the last time I’ve been there. And I was never a regular customer or anything like that.

So yesterday I’m in this diner and the waiter brings me my cup of tea and he says, didn’t you used to wear glasses? i remember you–you came in here a few years ago.

And I almost peed myself.

People are looking at you. All the time. We are noticing each other’s eyes and hair and bodies and clothes. And it’s not just women.

And I have to wonder, what crazy thing did I do or say to this waiter three years ago that made him remember me?

In this time of Missed Connections and gossip websites and obsession with the minutia of strangers’ appearances, I am becoming alarmingly, preteenly self-conscious about every stupid little thing.

Is this just me? Or am I just nuts?

[Had an experience like Sara? Have you become MORE self-conscious as you've grown up? Let us know!]