The Man Girdle. Oh Yes. It’s Here.

March 20, 2008 Posted in HaHa, Style

Step aside, Spanx!

There’s a new brand of body shaper in town, but this time it’s…for men?

WHAT?!

Now, ladies: we all do it. Whether it’s a padded bra (oh, excuse me “lightly lined bra”. Honey, you’re still faking it), control top pantyhose or even the aforementioned, miracle-working Spanx, we’re all guilty of some, shall we say, false advertising.

I am the first to admit it, and frankly, I think it’s great. Seriously, some dresses just require that I shake more (or less) than what my Mama gave me, and I will happily snap up something silicone and/or lycra-based to make it work.

From corsets to girdles and beyond, body-shaping is nothing new for us girls. It is not new, nor is it novel; on the contrary, a certain amount is expected. I like to think it adds to the feminine mystique of preparing for a night out, like eyelash curlers, body scrubs and complicated lingerie.

But on a guy?? Really?? I’m sorry, this is not something I can get behind. Yes, we all agree that modern menfolk can have body issues just like their female counterparts. Metrosexuality is de rigeur, and I’ve accepted that sometimes men will smell better or have softer skin than I do. So, when I read that men’s underwear brands like 2(X)ist were creating new lines featuring ‘spandex briefs and tank tops designed to have a trimming effect’, I tried to keep an open mind, but suspected it was an isolated incident.

But the examples just kept coming. Los Angeles underwear brand Go Softwear has the “Waist Eliminator,” with a waistband that extends up to mid-torso in order to flatten the tummy. Man-panty maker Andrew Christian introduced the Flashback Butt Lifting Technology Boxer – ‘a stretchy bodyshaping brief with a built-in elastic sling to lift and perk up the back side by “up to an inch”’

My god. There must actually be a market for this stuff.

Blame it on Hollywood hotness, or Hedi Slimane, or whatever, it doesn’t matter. However we did it, evidently we’ve managed to make men just as self-conscious as women! Well done, America! But fellas, take note: call it what you want, but a girdle’s a girdle. If I were dating a man (and I mean a straight man), and I got his shirt off to discover support hose, I would run for the hills – immediately, if not sooner.

Call it unfair, but I think a beer gut is a nastier surprise than say, slightly smaller breasts. More importantly, I don’t care if you’ve got one! But I do care if you wear lady-clothes.

Am I being shallow? Sure, it’s a double standard, but no more so than the couple I know we’ve all seen over and over: the schlubby man paired with an improbably hot woman (King of Queens. ‘Nuf said.). What do you think? If you were faced with a be-girdled man-belly, would you cut and run, or wait and see?

775812 Comments2008-03-20+17%3A39%3A40Gemma+-+NYU on "The Man Girdle. Oh Yes. It’s Here."

Deb says:
Thu, 20th Mar 200810:26 am

I agree completely. I wiggle into Spanx whenever I wear a skirt or a dress and I'm glad to. And yes, sure it's a girdle, but I'm a girl, I get to wear girdles! As you say, it's part of the feminine mystique of dressing up. But when it comes to me and my boyfriend, I want there to be difference. I'm open-minded about most things but just as I prefer to be the only one in our relationship who ever wears a skirt, I'd rather remain the only one of the two of us who ever wears a girdle.

Natalie says:
Fri, 21st Mar 20082:03 am

While I can’t say this makes me excited or anything, I think it falls into the category of personal expression for which we shouldn’t judge people. That said…the only person who has control over who you date is you. So if you want to run for the hills feel free to do so. Just do so after a second of thought please?

Darren says:
Fri, 21st Mar 200811:35 pm

Just to clarify, 2(x)ist and Andrew Christian are designers for gay brands of underwear (not to say straight men can’t also wear them, they’re just gay companies for gay men) and there is definitely a market in gay culture. As much as women love slimming effects in underwear, gay men love it, too.

Alejandro says:
Sat, 22nd Mar 20082:29 am

As a straight man -who is sensitive and in touch with his feminine side- I have to say that some things are just made for woman use ONLY. This thing is ridiculous

Trendinista.net says:
Wed, 26th Mar 20083:16 pm

I wonder why the don't show men that actually need these things. (Probably because it would just push the fat up or down, essentially giving the model "girdle muffin top").

Steve says:
Sat, 2nd May 20095:35 pm

This is a ridulously asinine and judgemental post here… if a guy wants to slim down for, say, a meeting or a presentation or, yeah, even a first date… he should get to! Gay or straight, a man has just as much a right as any woman to present himself the way he wants.

Jay says:
Wed, 27th May 20097:29 am

Way to go Steve, you took the words right out of my mouth.

will says:
Fri, 29th May 20096:31 am

If it’s an ok double standard for women to have one of these things and for men not to, then don’t get mad when a man calls a promiscuous girl a slut, and call his equally promiscuous male friend a ‘baller’

Fair is fair

Cancer Victim says:
Sun, 9th Aug 20094:23 pm

As a cancer victim who developed a MAJOR hernia afterwards (which they don't want to fix as I would have to go off targeted therapy to have), I would go for something like this. The abdominal support binder I have to wear now is just a velcro cinching version of a girdle anyway. This would be a lot less noticable.

Bob says:
Sun, 16th Aug 20098:03 pm

How many women have ever asked men if they should be allowed to wear a girdle? None. They do it because they want to. A man has a right to present himself as well as he can. Men are allowed to comb their hair, wear clean clothes, deodorant, and yes, even a compression garment if they chose.

Lee says:
Fri, 12th Feb 201011:19 am

It's always nice to see some good, new fashioned sexism going on! It renews my faith in the balance of things. Of course men can wear girdles if they feel like it! Men can were dresses if they want to; what do I care? Someone should have noticed a problem as soon as they had to admit "Sure, it's a double standard BUT." There is no but. (But don't worry, ladies, they have underwear to fix that.) A double standard is a /bad/ thing. It's the same thing women always bitch about, whether it's because a man is a complete and total ass to them, or just calls the wrong lady "ma'am."

In short, women can wear pants, men can wear skirts, and damnit, everyone can dress however they please.

Nate says:
Tue, 2nd Mar 20105:35 pm

As a business man I see hundreds of people daily,suits and ties are usual dress. When I see a portly lad with a nice suit but severe dunlap desease it's just as bad as showing up to work wearing bermuda shorts and flip flops. Professionalism is key. If wearing a man girdle makes one feel better about himself, and gives him confidence to perform his job to the best of ones ability, then I say go for it. What's good for the goose is good for the gander!

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