Bad Things: How I Love You

By CC Staff

When I Googled “things that are bad for me” and Chicken Pot Pie came up, I was surprised I didn’t eat more of it. I happen to specialize in loving all things bad. I am a bad things virtuoso. I cuss, I eat candy bars for breakfast and I drink more wine than water.

If I thought of Chicken Pot Pie as something harmful, would I crave it every evening? Probably. I look at it as comfort food to eat on winter nights while wearing thick wool socks, something that just fills me up and doesn’t take any serious toll on my health and in turn, I haven’t eaten a Chicken Pot Pie since I was about eight.

When we want what we shouldn’t have, is our want purely psychological because our cravings are forbidden? Just as rules are made to be broken, “bad things” are made to be desired.

For Instance:

Frappucinos– I blame this one on Britney Spears, because anytime she waddled out of a Starbucks her best accessory was her Venti sized Mocha Frappucino (whipped cream included) Why is it bad? 500 calories in a beverage is just too many.

JUNK FOOD– The term junk came around for a reason. Case in point: I spent twenty minutes staring at cookie dough in the grocery store today, simply because I knew I shouldn’t buy a BUCKET of cookie dough because I may have an instant heart attack after I finish the whole thing, uncooked. Or I may get a serious case of salmonella. I’ve never spent 20 minutes staring at grapefruit or kale, because who desires ‘effing KALE?

*Founders Favorite Coldstone Creamery- love it size, 1,290 calories.

*Chiptole Chicken Burrito- 1,270 calories (sour cream included, sorry folks I love my cream)

*Pillsbury Chocolate Chip Cookie- 127 per serving, who eats one cookie? Come on. Who?

*Marie Calendars CHICKEN POT PIE- 550 calories, 34 grams of fat.

*Margarita- 740 calories!!!!! This is enough to send me into a deep, deep, depression.

THATS JUST ON THE FOOD SIDE.

How about all of the bad ex-boyfriends we’ve gone back to? The men we’ve dated and shouldn’t have? The crushes on boys wearing leather and tattooing their arms with pictures of naked women?

[Oh, maybe that's just me.]

The cigarettes we’ve puffed (not to mention the other outlawed greenery to smoke), the crushes on best friend’s boyfriends and the people who bring out your inner crazy girl.

MEN, FOOD, TOO MUCH SEX, TOO MUCH OF…well anything is (apparently) generally bad. If we did a week long experiment, judgement aside, and indulged in all of the bad DELICIOUSNESS, would our cravings for it simmer down? Would we find feeding a “hunger” is actually healthy or would all of it be less coveted?

What bad things do you crave, and why do you think you crave them???

P.S. I forgot to mention how much I ADORE bacon. Thank you and the end.