Does Anal Sex Have a Bum Rap? Part One

butt party

Many women see their backdoor as a one-way street, so to speak. To them, anal sex is more laughable than sexy and it’s understandable that they should feel that way–after all, what has popular culture told us about anal sex? That it’s funny, disgusting, painful, or the dangerous means of a deviant lifestyle.

I will concede that anal sex is funny at times, but only so much as sex as a whole is funny (which it really should be). Also, we as a society seem to need to make light of the things that make us uncomfortable, and anal sex is still very taboo culturally because of widespread misinformation and closed minds.

For instance, many people still associate anal sex with homosexuality and the AIDS epidemic, and let their ignorance about the lifestyle inform their ideas about the nature of the act. Granted, some studies have shown that sexually transmitted diseases are more easily spread through anal sex, but they are even more easily preventable if the sex is practiced safely.

For all its perceived perversion, anal sex seems to be growing in popularity. In a 2005 study by the Center for Disease Control, they found that 34% of men and 32% of women between the ages of 22-24 have anal sex with the opposite sex, up from 20% in 1990. The Guide to Getting it On also reports that 30-40% of all heterosexual couples in this country have tried anal intercourse, with up to half of these continuing to do it on an occasional basis.

If you do decide to partake in anal sex, make sure you are living in a state that allows you to do so. Despite a 2003 decision by the US Supreme Court that sodomy laws were unconstitutional, 12 states (including my own state of Florida…yeah, all this information I’m offering in part two is totally anecdotal…) have laws banning outright or regulating who can have anal sex and with whom.

In fact, although the so-called sodomy law is mostly associated with anal sex, it’s implied that what is really outlawed is sexual activity that cannot lead to procreation. So, get your hands out of your pants, because that means no masturbation and, that’s right, no oral sex.

When put in those terms, I’m betting that not even the senators who voted in these laws would be able to follow them. It’s another sad example of the government or people in power trying to govern our sexuality and subvert the rights inherent to us as American citizens.

Although America isn’t the only country to have highly flawed ideas about sexuality: in 70 of 195 countries in the world consensual homosexual sex is illegal. The good news, however, is that the number of these laws are on the decline.

One adult having consensual anal sex with another only hurts other people so far as it may offend their delicate sensibilities. And they have just as much right to be offended as I have a right to have sex however I damn well please.

But I live in Florida, which means my options are somewhat limited.

33 Comments on "Does Anal Sex Have a Bum Rap? Part One"

  1. sara says:
    Tue, 25th Mar 20085:13 pm 

    i myself will never have anal sex. if you’ve ever taken an anatomy or physiology course in your life, you should know (if you payed any attention) that the external and internal anal sphincters are designed for things to come out only, not to go in. also, the mucosal lining of the rectum is very delicate. why else would std’s be passed more easily by anal sex? the sex causes trauma to that lining, making it really easy for nasty microorganisms to get right into your bloodstream and start causing damage, even if condoms and lubricants are used.

  2. laura says:
    Tue, 25th Mar 20085:20 pm 

    i myself will never have anal sex. if you’ve ever taken an anatomy or physiology course and paid attention, you should know that the internal and external anal sphincters are designed for things to come out, not go in. the mucosal lining of the rectum is very delicate. anal sex traumatizes that lining, making it really easy for nasty microorganisms to get straight into your bloodstream and start causing damage, even if you’re using a condom and lubricant. that’s why std’s are passed more readily during anal sex..easier access to the bloodstream. why expose yourself?

  3. Men everywhere says:
    Wed, 26th Mar 200811:53 am 

    Every article on this website is written by total morons! I have never read anything of value on this website at all. Its always, “when I get drunk I like to hook up with guys, te-he” or “when I bang too many guys my lady bits get sore, te-he” or “oh my god that show ‘the hills’ is really well written, te-he” For fucks sake ladies this website really makes you look like idiots.

  4. Christine says:
    Wed, 26th Mar 200812:58 pm 

    *bashes head against the wall*

    Seriously? Seriously? This website is for WOMEN. Not for men, so obviously there is nothing of value on here for you. There have been plenty of useful articles on here that I have found interesting and insightful. Stop being a nitwit and go get laid yourself.

  5. Men everywhere says:
    Wed, 26th Mar 20081:03 pm 

    I guess if I bashed my head against the wall enough I would find one of these article useful too. This website (as well as US weekly, star, cosmo, etc…) is why we have no respect for you ladies. Just so you know.

  6. Christine says:
    Wed, 26th Mar 20081:14 pm 

    That’s interesting, since most of the guys I know respect women for being themselves and not based on what they read. Then again you obviously have your head so far up your own ass that you probably don’t live in the real world. If you’re going to make statements you probably shouldn’t claim to be representing an entire sex. I’m pretty sure real men would get pissed at the fact that you’re misrepresenting them.

  7. Men everywhere says:
    Wed, 26th Mar 20081:19 pm 

    I think you mean pussies. Not real men. And futhermore what you read says EVERYTHING about you. If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck its probably mindless drivel. Here try this:

    http://www.growabrain.typepad.com/

  8. Men everywhere says:
    Wed, 26th Mar 20081:21 pm 

    I love the level of discourse here. I can feel my brain being sucked out. Enjoy the anal.

  9. Christine says:
    Wed, 26th Mar 20081:36 pm 

    Yeah you are right. I was just trying to learn how to get some hot anal….I mean thats all I’m good for anyway. I will shut my stupid mouth now.

  10. Men everywhere says:
    Wed, 26th Mar 20081:39 pm 

    Thats a good girl.

  11. the voice of reason says:
    Wed, 26th Mar 20082:16 pm 

    Let me get this straight: a woman writes an article on a website geared towards women (the content of which may or may not be inane, depending on one’s opinion) PROMOTING heterosexual anal sex, and you (I’m looking at you “Men everywhere”) are taking the conversation off topic?! On behalf of all the other men in the world, let me say, “good work…douche bag.”

  12. J - NYU says:
    Wed, 26th Mar 20085:07 pm 

    I have no idea why “Men Everywhere” continues to come back to this little site of ours, but he seems to love it here!

    If this place is so worthless to you, dear, why return and comment? What you’re proving is not that this site is worthless, but that it stimulates conversation. And conversation — when well thought out and devoid of narrow-mindedness — is always a fantastic things.

    Thanks for proving our point!

  13. L says:
    Wed, 26th Mar 20087:20 pm 

    The law against sodomy seems slightly redundant to me…I mean honestly. Unless you’re breaking another law by having sex in public…there’s no way to govern it. Just like that law that some state has that you’re not allowed to eat an orange in a bathtub (not even kidding. I think it’s Florida? It’s been awhile since I heard it.)

  14. Lee says:
    Thu, 27th Mar 20089:06 pm 

    Does the word “consenual” or “condoms” mean anything? If you don’t think so, GO STICK SOMETHING ELSE UP YOUR A**!

  15. fgnfgn says:
    Fri, 28th Mar 20088:51 pm 

    dfbfdgnbgfn hdfg

  16. jennac says:
    Sun, 30th Mar 20083:53 pm 

    anal sex is not for me. my boyfriend is 6′2 and built–far from scrawny–and my weight is in the double digits. i can’t even imagine the pain i’d go through. whoever writes these articles always has something to prove. sorry, but those of us choosing not to massively hemorrhage from behind aren’t necessarily homophobic readers of old wives tales!

  17. Janers says:
    Mon, 31st Mar 200810:22 am 

    “Men everywhere” says, “What you read says EVERYTHING about you. If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck its probably mindless drivel,

    …BUT isn’t he on this website reading too?

    I hear quacking!

    I am not mindless. Actually I am a Duke Elite, with a 4.0+ G.P.A. I love classical music (esp. Mozart), watching the history channel (esp. about ancient Egypt), reading (esp. the Dictionary), Grammar, Cary Grant movies, gourmet cooking, law, Japanese culture/history/arts, etc…

    BUT I (and other women) are allowed to indulge in silly, pointless activities every now-and then too. I also like to watch The Girls Next Door and giggle over ice cream about cute boys or clothes and such.

    It doesn’t mean I am stupid, just that everything doesn’t have to be intellectual pursuits all the time. All work and no play makes Jane a dull girl afterall.

    Really, this website isn’t any more pointless than some wrestling shows, superbowl sunday, the Man show, etc…that men often indulge in.

    Can’t we all just get along/coexist?

    Play nicely children!

    peace ;)

  18. jack says:
    Thu, 17th Apr 20082:14 am 

    Wow! Some american states have laws against sexual activities that do not lead to procreation!?

    What a joke!!! you yanks are fucking weird going on about your great free country. What bullshit! you cant even masturbate or eat an orange in the bath!!

    Personally I would have to neck myself if i couldnt eat oranges in the bath.

  19. Scooter says:
    Fri, 18th Apr 200812:13 pm 

    My girlfriend loves anal sex. She likes it when I gape her butthole like the girls do in the adult movies. She also likes ass to mouth, which is also pretty hot! She is a free, unihibited sex godess and I am lucky to have her!

  20. Celine says:
    Wed, 23rd Apr 20081:26 am 

    Sooooo…..this never ever seems to get mentioned in all the latest faddish “have better sex now” books, and I haven’t seen it mentioned here…so let me get this straight; by anal sex are we just *assuming* that the authors mean men fucking women in the ass?

    I’m sure it must sound awfully ungirly and non-pc for me to say this, but what about all the straight guys out there who love getting fucked in the ass by their girlfriends? Why does this never come up? As someone who tops their boyfriend, I’d really like to know. Anal sex doesn’t feel good for me, but my boy loves receiving my strap on. Yet it is always assumed that when anyone ever talks about anal sex among straight couples, of course they mean the woman is taking it in the butt.

  21. Tai says:
    Mon, 28th Apr 20087:59 pm 

    I would like to try anal sex…straight anal sex…me as a man to my girlfriend…i’ve heard some stories that it hurts and some have said it feels good. I would actually like advice on how to go about it and be able to try it. She’s the same as one of the first couple of comments by saying its only a one way and although it saddens me i’ve lived with her decision for 2yrs but now i feel i cant take it anymore. now im not just a guy trying to get laid but i would just like to have the experience.

    Thanks all

  22. Andy says:
    Wed, 7th May 200811:37 am 

    Jack, the Yanks are in the North East. Florida is South East. The Johnny Rebs are in between. Just so’s you know.

    Personally, I love both doors, with a preference to the front. Fortunately, I’m hung like a mouse, so the back door is a welcome option for my girl.

    Go slow, lots of astroglide and don’t even go near there until she is highly aroused. (Or the same for you if you’re trying the strap on idea. Have to pick one up. I wonder?)

  23. Patty says:
    Mon, 19th May 20089:44 pm 

    I disagree with “Men Everywhere”, I get a lot of insight on women by reading these posts (of course I don’t think I’ll ever be able to appreciate “The Hills”.) As far as anal sex I’ve always viewed it like I view warfare: It is fun to watch in the movies, but I don’t really want to be involved with it in real life.

  24. THINK says:
    Wed, 9th Jul 20083:32 pm 

    I do what my husband wants b/c if i dont someone else will. We dont do the anal thing to often though.

    To the guys that are posting things about women…. Remember dumb @#$ your mother is a women.

    Unless you have went through labor pains you dont got $#@! to say.

  25. LOL says:
    Tue, 5th Aug 20084:05 am 

    ok

    first, yank is the term EVERYONE uses for an american or as some of my friends say,narrow minded sexist delusional warmongers, however i simply tell them there just drunk like usual and have no idea what anything is neither lol

    this men everywhere dude…where u abused as a child by ur mother and it turned u sexist? just a question. THINK um no i will never enjoy labor pains lol but i dig ditches all day with a shovel for 22 dollars an hour had a large chunk of my lip ripped off by a dog when i was 5(the surgery was amazing) and was literally stabbed in the back by one of my exes after she made me move over 800kms away from anyone i knew. so shutup pain is as pain does u sexist. for the dude wanting advice im not sure wut to tell u about ur girl maybe u should simply move on, the best way to get anal sex is to arbitrarily make a conversation with a girl discussing ur opinions. DO NOT ASK FOR IT. seems to work for me.

    please, get back to actually discussing anal sex and quite slandering each other u little babies if u wish to troll ppl and offend plz go to 4chan.com and make fun the anime ppl(they freak out the most) have a nice day :D

    p.s.

    FgSfDs

  26. TracyC says:
    Mon, 11th Aug 20088:58 am 

    I don’t know what the fuss is all about. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for the last 4 years and we always had anal sex.

    The thing about it though is that if he asks for my bum he then knows that not only I love him, but he will also have to do things for me too! And I know that I can ask for loads of things from small presents to trips abroad.

  27. Stan says:
    Sun, 21st Sep 200811:02 am 

    I like rimming my G/F’s butthole it’s pink & cute & I LOVE the taste!

  28. arsenie says:
    Mon, 29th Sep 20081:53 pm 

    only people who does it(no toys, just the juicy hard thing in their horny arses), should have an opinion. all woman who really want to feel fucked does it on ocasion, `dry hole bithes` say its dirty in the ass and go for the mouth which is `not dirty`….hipocritic sublimbidonial lizards

  29. arsenie says:
    Mon, 29th Sep 20081:57 pm 

    TracyC…. i LOVE YOU… you are a real soul bitch, put your arse on the bargain!!!…dont say you dont enjoy the moment though,……

  30. Brazilian man says:
    Sat, 11th Oct 20083:51 pm 

    Womem…I’ve been married for 9 years and I and my wife always had anal sex. There are some secrets: Always I have to ask her if she want it; use a lot of water lubricant; and all the time I have to masturbate her. She like a lot…belive me!

  31. Angel says:
    Tue, 23rd Dec 20089:05 am 

    I think people should be open to anything because if you haven’t tried it then how can you say it’s gross or painful or not full of pleasure?

    I think it’s a tad bit idiotic to judge people based on sexual preferences, unless of course you’re dating them, then it’s your business.

  32. Chris says:
    Tue, 22nd Sep 20096:18 pm 

    “men everywhere” is an idiot.. congrats.. now go play with your Lincoln Logs and leave the discussion for the adults…

  33. nomercy says:
    Wed, 23rd Sep 20096:22 am 

    What’s up with u women. all you do is complain about your pussy and it’s side effects. First it’s labor pains, which can’t be as bad as you say since you were built to have babies and the pussy opens up to the size of a football field. Then its PMS, PPS, Menopause, PTS, and on and on and on. How the hell did the human race ever reach five billion, when the weaker sex has more complaints about it’s natural functions than Planters has Peanuts. If it weren’t for modern medicine, modern women would either not have babies, be in a nut house, or sit at home nursing their sore lower half because they had to urninate.

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