Letting Go of the Labels

Who I was in the third grade does not define who I am today, and who I slept with two weeks ago doesn’t either.

By Ccandyjessica

If I wear 4-inch pumps and a cheetah-print dress on Monday, I’ll be viewed just a little differently by men–and women!–than when I wear sneakers and a Hanson hoodie on Tuesday. Even worse: I’ll actually be treated differently, too. But I’m going to change my outfits daily, because my moods will change daily, and that decision to choose what I wear when I wear it is a no-brainer. So if I go home with a guy after meeting him in a bar and have wild, upside-down, “we should totally record this!” sex one night, and then meet another dude the following night but prefer just to spoon and watch “Arrested Development,” why am I deemed a slut for having sex and then a prude for not putting out? And why do I even care so much about these labels?? They’re inaccurate and not definitive of who I am at all.

Guys get to brag about their sex lives, while I am stuck making justifications for mine. Just because I’m “choosy” and have a couple of standards, it doesn’t mean I’m looking to find “true love” in some lad’s loins. But I’m not looking to sex up anyone with a penis and a pulse just to prove I own my sexuality, either.

I am just trying to find some happiness, and I don’t want an irrelevant label taking that opportunity away from me.

So no more, I say! I won’t let a label try to define or bully me another second. I will only accept being branded a person with thoughts, desires, fears and experiences that help make me who I am today, even if who I am will be different tomorrow.

There is so much more to me than the sex I am–or am not–having!