Our Personal Sexual Revolution: Join Us

First, sex was something to be afraid of.

By Jess

It was big and complicated and hush hush. If I was watching a movie with my parents and the PG rating went just a little too far, my mom would start talking loudly – signaling that whatever was happening onscreen wasn’t for my eyes. My Catholic priest would stand on the pulpit every Sunday, telling me that God was always watching, and every time I did something (or thought something) not good, He would know. Sex was probably bad – why else would my mom get so nervous? – and so if I even thought about it by accident, I was gonna have God to deal with.

Then, sex was something to be in awe of.

Junior high whispers. High school high-fives. I would listen to friends and friends of friends talk about it like it was Vegas and Heaven combined. Those who had it were admired. Those who didn’t were ignored. I so desperately wanted to know what all the giggling was about.

After that, sex was something to be good at.

Sharing stories, trading secrets, impressing my long-term boyfriend. It was a way to feel adult, to feel confident, to hook into society. It was my connection. To everything.

All to soon, it was a weapon.

A way to get back at the long-term boyfriend who ended our 4 years together with heartbreaking speed. A way to use men. A way to abuse myself. A way to forget how bad everything sucked, how lonely I was. I checked off conquests to ease my bruised ego, my sad self-esteem.

Later, sex was strange.

Hooking up as a true adult, with men 5, 10 years older, in my own apartment and with my own rules, and I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Was I proud? Was I ashamed of the number who had rushed in the door at midnight and stumbled out at 3 AM? Was this how the rest of society lived? …And, was God still watching? Did he even give a sh*t?

Now? Sex is whatever I make of it.

It’s scary. It’s awe-inspiring. It’s fun. It’s dangerous. It’s weird. Most importantly, it’s always evolving. People and society may attempt to put labels on those of us women who enjoy it, but no matter what they try, they’ll never be able to convince me my sexual thoughts are anyone’s business but my own.

Women’s sexuality tends to force us into boxes, into personalities or labels, but if we refuse to acknowledge those labels, there’s not a damn thing anyone can do about it. CollegeCandy’s Personal Sexual Revolution day is about busting open those labels with beautiful and funny honesty. There’s only one way to change the way people think about sex – and that’s with personal truth.

So please, join the discussion. Your voice deserves to be heard.