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Would You Call Me A Whore?

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Whore.

I used that word liberally until people starting calling me that. And they’ve used it on me a lot.

I was able to train myself to treat it like any other word, like it wasn’t dripping with spite. Now it no longer affects me, though there was a point in time during which I could have named every single person who had ever used that word on me.

Only women have called me a whore.

Whores aren’t raised. There was nothing that my mother, who was unwavering in her aspiration that my hymen would remain intact until my wedding night, did that made me approach sex so callously. When I was a child, I hated being needlessly touched – poking, tickling, even hugs – and I know that my mother found some solace in that, hoping that it would hold over into my adolescence and adulthood.

It did; I still hate to be needlessly touched, except that my definition has grown from tickling and hugs to include cuddling, be it pre-, post- or non-coital.

Sex has a purpose, so the only touching that I could tolerate was in order to obtain sex. You could say that it was the only poking that I’d deal with.

Whores can have decidedly unwhorelike beginnings. Like me – kind of. I lost my virginity when I was 18 to my first boyfriend, two weeks before I left home for freshman year orientation. It was fast, unremarkable and sadly funny in retrospect. “Barbie Girl” was playing in the background and the song lasted longer than the sex. It was in the back seat of the car that he borrowed from his uncle. Oh, and even better – the holder of my virginity was someone that I was dating for the summer. He returned to the Midwest the day after and I was relieved.

From the start, sex was never about being in love or expressing love. I never had a boyfriend in high school because everyone (including me) just hooked up. Yet in hooking up, I got hurt a lot. My feelings were always inconvenient, were never returned and ultimately became a burden.

But after the first sex, I was dangerous. Because for the first time, I felt like I was impervious to developing feelings for anyone and therefore able to keep myself from feeling any sort of pain. There would be no sense of rejection or longing or heartache if I was emotion-less.

Whores don’t exactly realize that they’re being whores. I developed an interesting reputation during the first few months of school. Because I was four hours away from my hometown, I knew that I was free of any preconceived notions about who I was or who I was supposed to be – which allowed me to finally express myself in ways that I couldn’t in high school.

I was virtually invisible in high school and in college, there was nowhere for me or what I never realized was my overt sexuality to hide. I flirted with everyone, boys, professors, sometimes even girls. Because I was unaware of it, I thought that I could feign innocence, but once I was attuned to it, I knew that I was trouble.

Since those days, people have always told me that they admired me. That they wished that they could let themselves be more like me because I didn’t live my life ‘safely’. A friend said that she actually wondered what it was like to have my sex life. The girls who weren’t calling me a whore (to my face at least) told me with wide-eyed awe that I had sex “like a man.” I still don’t know what that even means.

Maybe because I had conquests; because I unapologetically broke hearts; because I answered to no one.

These girls watched me approach sex and treat other people’s feelings with such recklessness and impulsivity and seemed to believe that my sex was the fun everyone should be having. Sometimes as I was doing whatever I did, or even before, I’d wonder what the hell I was doing to myself. But afterward, I always knew that what I did, what I’d always done, was act on impulse. I knew who and what I wanted, albeit fleetingly, and there was no pretense – I took it because I could. I took it because it was mine to have.

So once the word whore lost its painful edge, I actually didn’t care that it got hurtled at me a few too many times. I wasn’t sleeping with their boyfriends; I wasn’t sleeping with their exes; I wasn’t sleeping with their brothers. I just made no secret that I was doing exactly what I wanted.

What did bother me: If I was having the ‘fun’ to be experienced by all, why was I the only one having it? I became pretty tired of letting people learn from my mistakes; I wanted to watch them make mistakes and learn from theirs instead.

But I’m not one to let other people live while I hold back and observe.

So maybe I have sex like a man.

Would you call me a whore for that?

I don’t care.

    Comments

    Comments

    1. Sophia says:

      I like your approach. For the name callers: live a little!

    2. Amber says:

      I totally agree with this post…as long as you're not out having unprotected sex with a bunch of guys…have fun! I mean this is the four years of your life where you don't have barely any responsibility…it's time for us to take back our sexuality and have a little fun!

    3. Casey says:

      Wow I was EXACTLY the same way, and people told me the EXACT same things. I didn't know there were other girls that thought the way I did about sex. It's a bit comforting to know there are, but at the saem time it takes a little of the fun out of it knowing that you're not the only "badass" chick out there. :) (I use the past tense because i'm now in an AMAZING relationship, which started the same way any other hook up of mine did, and I no longer live my life that way)

    4. molly says:

      I hate when my friends or roommates judge me for having (safe!) sex, with boyfriends or one-night stands. There isn't anything wrong with it, and if men (boys) can do it, why can't we?! Just because I'm not ashamed to admit I like sex, that doesn't make me a whore, it makes you a pruuuuude.

    5. Roxy the Killer says:

      I don't think you're a whore. You might have sexual issues, but it takes more than that to be a whore.

      A whore is someone who sacrafices their morales for commercial gain. It's come to mean more than just having sex with a lot of people.

      As long as you're safe and not having sex with children or animals, it's nobody's damn business.

      The haters are just hating to distract from their own problems, and that makes them worse than any name they call you.

    6. Eric says:

      There's nothing wrong with being safe an promiscuous. Go live it, girl! But…

      "because I unapologetically broke hearts"

      That's bad because it does hurt others. Love freely but don't take advantage of your lovers!!!

    7. Chris says:

      I was looking for some info about this, I am glad that I find it, cause, maybe I live in another country but the girl I had sex with, well, she is really liberal in this matters… Maybe you have sex like a man, which for you is fine, even with those brockenhearts and all, but I am in the other side of the river, and is funny, because when it happened, and we hook up, and had sex, and fall apart, I felt like a girl, ok, I admit it, I had sex like a girl and felt brocken, don´t know why I write to you but I am trying to understand women, sex and relationships, cause is new to me.

      Will re-read your post, I want to make some reflections about this things.

      For all of that thank you.

      Cheers

    8. Chris says:

      I know that it sounded lame, don´t care, I preffer to deal with this now and not be stupid tomorrow with the next girl.

      Bye

    9. J - NYU says:

      Chris…sex can be confusing. Don't apologize for having feelings!

    10. whitney says:

      whore, no. bitch, maybe.

    11. Haha says:

      You need a psychologist.

    12. rick james says:

      You aren't a whore per say, but you are fucked. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

    13. your dad says:

      well, yea ur a total whore

      u have no self respect, sell ur body, feel no emotion

      men are whores too

      you are all whores

      close your legs you filthy garbage can, learn some self respect, stop breaking others hearts, just because yours was taken advantage of doesnt mean you should take advantage of others

      bitch

    14. Heather says:

      The entire concept of a whore is stupid. So no, I wouldn't call you that. You're a person that likes sex much like any other human being. If most men were women they would be considered "whores." Men like Jeff make examples of themselves. Not thinking that consensual sex is a big deal is a lot different than thinking rape isnt a big deal, since rape isn't consensual (key word). That one example is enough to take the whole ship down in my eyes.

    15. Ingrid says:

      I got to this post because wordpressed linked it to one of my posts they thought were similar. As usual they are not really similar; however, I am glad I rolled through to read your post.

      I believe a whore is only a whore if other people know it. I think if you use a little more discretion the name will no longer be thrown your way. The hows and the whys you do you are your business. And the same way most people keep their banking statement private maybe you would do well to see your sex life in the same light.

      Maybe you are a whore, but you can still be you AND be a lady. The question becomes is it the sex you love or the attention you get from people knowing about the sex that really gets you off?

    16. Mikeguy says:

      wait, you go to penn state don't you

      i remember you.

    17. I'm no critic says:

      No you’re not a whore. If anyone has noticed, society has been extremely hard on women. Even women are going against women.

      I think you should stop having that much sex. Put yourself in a better place. Value yourself.

      And the guy that wants to stone you is a psychopath. The michael kid talking his crap is a jealous hater.
      They’re obviously jealous they don’t get as much sex as you.

      Either way, tone it down and murder the haters.

    18. Dipika says:

      so sick people are over here who are calling u a whore!!!!!!

      they are seriously mad!!!!!!!

      when boys have sex fun with many such girls they are not anything lyk tht ryt?????]

      n such people to hide there slutty secrets they blame others,, so bloody bastards they are, n girls who are back bitching they toh dnt have any gut to say u in front of face,, y? are they all afraid that there secrets wil b out too????? huh fucking world’s and there fucking secrets,, if no 1 in this world have done sex or never heard that word ever only they have such ryt to call other a whore or anything, i promise the people who call u bitch slut or whore they are the same thing coz they know those words n they have been thrugh d sexxy meanings, n dy are dull sick sticky filth….!!!!!!

    19. nancy says:

      It’s like broken telephone.
      Once your name has gotten out, people make up twisted things to go along with it. Therefore, it will never end and you will always be called a whore by the same people. It’s a form of bullying. It’s called slut shaming.

      Now I’m not saying that people shouldn’t call others that. Sometimes it is okay to call the prostitute on the street what she really is, a whore. It’s good to let prostitutes know that they’ve brought themselves to that state, and by taking the easy road, they have also sacrificed their reputation.

      On to you, one who likes to have fun and do what she wants. I don’t agree with some people here who think you are a whore. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you. So no, I wouldn’t call you a whore. You’re not doing anything wrong in my standards.

      In fact, I think it is Michael and Mr.Knowitall who are the ones doing wrong here. Society has been blinded by stupid men and women.
      Even if you were a prostitute. Anyone wanting to kill/murder you is way worse. Those are the real criminals. The murderers and psychopaths.
      Those are the people who should be spat on and called dirty names.

      People just need to open their eyes and think with an open mind.

    20. Jack Jerkinov says:

      I don't agree with the nuts here, saying they would enjoy killing you, or that you deserve to be raped. On the other hand, I feel no small amount of disgust in reading this, and knowing people like you exist. You outright admit you didn't give a damn how many people you hurt, and led people on with flirting. You place far too much confidence in your looks, like you're hot stuff, and brag about it, criticism be damned. It has all the intellectual depth of Jersey Shore and similar trash. If you're just going to take pride in simply being a piece of meat, fine, but don't expect people to respect you. Then again, you don't care. You're a liberated girl who wants to the show the world you're the boss because you don't care what's in your pussy so long as there's something inside it. Pathetic.

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