College Candy

While spending a glorious Friday night in with myself (a week like my last week should have never been forced upon a normal human), I happened to cruse by a Jezebel post concerning one Natasha Lyonne. Remember that chick? Slums of Beverly Hills cool and quirky…until she like, sorta went nuts and threatened people’s dogs and presumably took every drug on planet.

Well, I guess she’s back and semi-normal, and Street Carnage has just posted a link of Lyonne watching herself as a little kid on Pee-Wee’s Playhouse. The video of Natasha watching herself is here. She seems a little stoned and kind of annoying. She’s not the reason I’m posting.

The reason I’m posting is because of the Pee-Wee clip she's in. Holy, holy creepy. As a child, Paul Rubens always made me feel uneasy, and as I watch this clip now, I see I was way ahead of the game when it came to sensing strangeness.

1) Who dressed these kids? Is it supposed to look like the kids dressed themselves? Why don’t their clothes fit??

2) Who is that semi-retarded looking old man playing with the children? I mean, is he supposed to be slow? Why is a 50-year-old guy hanging out with eight year olds? Why is Pee Wee allowing such creepiness!? Look at that vacant expression! Something is just not right with him…

3) Their “lunch” consists of white bread and one slice of yellow American cheese! Dear jesus, Pee Wee! What about nutritional content??!

4) Pee Wee’s got crazy eyes. Plus his pants are too tight. All signs that he will eventually masturbate in a public theater to gay porn…