Hottie Spotting at Your Favorite Coffee Scene: How to Weed Out the Losers
Years of coffee drinking and way too many hours at my local Starbucks has instilled in me few quarks: a sever caffeine addiction, height maxing out at a towering 5 foot 2 inches, and a fine-tuned sixth sense on identifying loser guys based on their coffee drink of choice.
Allow me to fill you in on my revelation:
Frappuccino: Absolutely not datable. Fraps are merely a milkshake with a thimble of coffee in it (obviously to make it more grown-up) and put in a fashionable cup to show off how trendy/cool/grown-up one is by carrying it around. Guys who go to Starbucks and order frappuccinos do not actually like coffee, but don’t want to feel lame for carrying around a McDonalds cup with what they really want – a milk shake. It has been my experience that the frappuccino guy is full of as much crap as his frap, steer clear.
Carmel Macchiato/Vanilla Latte/Peppermint Mocha/any drink with more sugar and/or whip cream than actual coffee: These drinks are for girls- particularly young girls. Any guy who orders these high maintenance beverages is just that – high maintenance. Ordering one of these drinks is the equivalent your suitor ordering a Cosmo at the bar, not very manly. Do you really want to battle for the high maintenance title with your man? It’s endearing when a girl is H.M., it’s gross when a guy is.
Tea/Iced Tea: Here is an acceptable beverage choice. This is ordered by the guy confident enough to admit he doesn’t like coffee. I appreciate that, coffee is not for all and it takes a real man to admit that he thinks it tastes yucky. Ordering tea shows self-assurance, and who doesn’t want that in a mate?
Coffee/Iced Coffee/Americano/Cappuccino/Espresso/Latte – Any form of coffee beverage lacking syrup, flavoring, and/or sprinkles: A guy who orders any of the aforementioned is probably worth a shot (no espresso pun intended). It takes an adult to order a real coffee drink without the sugary mask. While I would love to guarantee a guy is dateable when ordering these drinks, all I can offer is the hope that with the grown up coffee drink comes a grown up in a relationship.