College Candy

Herb Peterson, the McMastermind behind the Egg McMuffin, died last week at the age of 89. The egg-cellent treat has been curing hangovers and serious morning cravings since 1972 and Mr. Peterson’s genius will certainly be missed.

Though the Egg McMuffin has a place in the halls of fast food history, not every snack can be so lucky. As a junk food enthusiast and resident gross food researcher, here are my Top 3 Fast Food Flubs.

#3 – Tacos at Burger King (2002)

In a word, they were disgusting. For some reason, the King decided to make a trip south of the border and added 50 cent tacos to their dollar menu. They were soggy, poorly seasoned, used American cheese and the beef may have been horse…or vomit. I don’t know who quarterbacked that decision in the Burger King boardroom but I hope they were sent packing. Better question, I don’t know why I wasted a hard earned dollar from my high school wallet to try them out.

#2 - KFC Famous Chicken Bowls (2006)

Eaten separately, the items inside the Famous bowl are all pretty good. There’s mashed potatoes, gravy, chicken, corn and cheese. Great! Just what the cardiologist ordered. But when thrown together with reckless abandon and left to congeal under a heat lamp and eye of a 15-year-old disgruntled employee, the bowl becomes less famous and more infamous.

Funny man Patton Oswalt has been writing and talking about the bowls all across the country, and his comedy is probably the only thing keeping the dish going.

#1 – Hardee’s Country Breakfast Burrito (2007)

Clocking in at over 900 calories, this burrito is not for the faint of heart…seriously, you could die. It has two cheese omelets, gravy, hashbrowns, bacon bits, and giant chunks of sausage wrapped in a tortilla. I feel constriction in my chest just writing it. And by the way, does everything wrapped in a tortilla automatically become a burrito? There has to be more words in the dictionary.