A Foodie’s Confession: Why Make-Up Sex Stinks

How many times have you talked about it with your friends or even your partner, extolling the virtues of ‘make-up sex?’

By CC Staff

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I recall Sex and the City dedicating an entire episode to this very subject. Before getting into the nitty-gritty of why this foodie believes that make-up sex stinks, I want to make two things clear. First, I am not denouncing make-up sex. If it works for you and your partner, go for it! By all means! As for me, a self-declared foodie, I’d rather mend things over appetizers and a well-shaken martini. Second, and you can all breath a sigh of relief, I refuse to moralize about the matter. Instead, I wanna put forth an epicure’s perspective, and hopefully entice those “jump-in-the-bed-as-soon-as-he-says-sorry” types to consider this option.

I’ll admit that this sort of stance is somewhat unconventional. I mean, every time a new fashion and beauty magazine appears on newsstands, slapped right smack dab on the front cover are titles like “1001 Reasons Why Make-Up Sex is Great!” or “‘How Make-Up Sex Saved My Relationship’: ‘Naughty’ Tips That Led to Tying the Knot!”

But from a foodie’s perspective, make-up sex is not the only option, and dinner is (obviously, I’m biased) a far better alternative. The sex can wait, and what better way to spend with your partner than cozying up together over cocktails and a plate of delectable appetizers? And if your partner feels particularly remorseful, now’s the time to take advantage of that guilt (also, if you’re partner is a foodie, that makes it all the easier!)

Suggest a sexy-looking lounge that you’ve admired from afar or happened to discover with your gal pals a while back. Alternatively, convince him to take you to that “special and romantic spot” that —and let’s be honest— is rarely patronized by the two of you anymore. Like I said, the sex can come later, whereas a hot plate of fries accompanied with a smashing array of aioli dips can’t. Now is the time to talk, share food, and be reminded of the things that drew you two together in the first place – flirtatious topics, witty stories, harmless gossip, not to mention the meticulous discussions about the elixirs you’re consuming, and determining (together) what sorts of herbs the chef chose to include in your first course(s).

I know it’s a cliché, but I’ll just come out and say it: the restaurant memories I have are precious. Stored away in my mind’s eye are the flickering images of post-fight restaurant scenes – these moments are now safely placed in my mind’s “memory box,” and I’ll be able to recall them for decades to come.

In all those moments, as we sipped wine and shared hors d’oeuvres, I realized how much I loved my partner and how foolish I had been just a few hours earlier. You see, we – as human beings – instinctively bond at the table, especially when we share sumptuous plate of food and pair it with a nice bottle of wine with a loved one. I’ll admit, it’s peculiar, but nevertheless a timeless form of intimacy, and what follows is just as rewarding.

So, after that final bite of chocolate mousse or shared plate of cold, chocolate covered strawberries, the two of you are physically satiated and emotionally healed. Strolling home, and perhaps a little tipsy, it doesn’t get any better than this. Trust me, foodies find just as much pleasure frolicking in bed as non-foodies do. We, however, prefer to draw things out, spice it up by sipping on Bloody Mary’s, nibbling on hot racks of lamb, and consuming aged wines. This act of consumption must be combined with stimulating conversations – good food and good talk are essential to strengthening the bonds of a healthy relationship.

There’s no doubt, the art of seduction is at its finest when performed at the dinner table. Cheers!