Surreal Heels Are Impractically Perfect

I love fashion. I really do. But no matter what kind of bullsh*t magazine editors tell you about styles this season being “new” and “fresh,” trends are more often than not just ideas that have been recycled 12,000 times since the early 1900s, which is pretty g*ddamn lame.

However, just when I was beginning to think that nothing innovative happens in fashion anymore, along comes the Art Heel.

I first became aware of the Art Heel this fall when reading about Marc Jacobs’ winter collection. The much-revered designer sent models down the runway wearing patent leather shoes with the heel attached to the ball of the foot – a move that, for practical purposes, makes no sense, but is aesthetically striking and different, for once. Since then, it seems that everyone from Jil Sander to D&G is looking to remake the high heel, and while I can’t afford a single pair, I’m endlessly excited that designers are finally thinking outside of the box. Here are a few of my top faves:

Marc Jacobs Backward Heel:

Are they absurd? Yes. Can one actually comfortably walk in them? Doubtful. Would Rene Magritte approve of them? Absolutely – and that’s all I need to know.

Emilio Pucci Feathery Star…Wedge…Thingy:

These remind me of those cheap-ass plastic heels for little girls that you can buy in the toy department that come with matching earrings and a necklace, except they’re for grownups and they cost, like, a grand. So. Bangin’.

Christian Lacroix Froufy Wedge:

I strongly suspect these were made by a first grader from the leftover scraps of some craft project involving paper plates. And that is awesome.

Louis Vuitton Cutout Heel:

So, I kind of hate Louis Vuitton, but every once in a while the brand can bust it out. I mean, who knew that taking a little chunk out of the heel could make a shoe look so new and amazing? Further props for emphasizing the architectural style with the detailing.

Christian Dior Best Shoes Ever Made:

The first time I saw these shoes in a magazine ad, I moaned, I shit you not. I want to do dirty, unspeakable things both in and to these heels.

In short, I hope that designers embrace this trend and apply the same aesthetic to other branches of their collections. Because what is fashion about if not pushing the envelope and having fun?