Meeting People Is Easy…Sort Of

[Read the previous installment of my study abroad experience, I Could Really Use a "Not For Tourists" Guide About Now]

By Ccandysarah

Alright, you’ve just arrived in a new city, eager to explore all it has to offer and excited for classes to begin. Making friends should be easy, right? Well, maybe not…

As I mentioned before, I arrived in Dublin well before my classes started, so I had to wait a few weeks to meet the people in my program. I assumed I’d meet people in my dorm, but I soon realized that a) my dorm only had 12 single rooms and b) no one had moved in yet. Damn. One morning I heard signs on life on my floor, so I went into the communal kitchen to have a look. There I met Colin, who immediately informed me that he knew everything about our school because he went there for undergrad and his masters and now his PhD, and his dad was some important dean. He talked my ear off for an hour, including as many details as possible (including the fact that he had JUST moved out of his parents house…shocking!), until I finally managed to excuse myself. Good lord.

When I finally got my student ID card, I tried meeting new people at the computer lab. Strike two! I was baffled by the amount of students in the labs typing away at a furious pace, as if studying for exams or writing papers—turns out masters theses are due in October, so the labs were crammed with people knee-deep in research. No one seemed open to socializing.

Finally I figured I’d wait it out until classes started, so I could meet all the interesting people in my program. Even that, however, proved difficult. Turns out most of the people in my program had come straight from undergrad, so they already had friends on campus. I found myself naturally gravitating towards the handful of other Americans, which is what I had wanted to avoid—I’m in Ireland, I should be making friends with Irish people! It all seemed rather hopeless—I envisioned myself mostly friendless, sitting alone in pubs and wishing I could call my parents without outrageous international fees.

I eventually realized that I was missing the key element to meeting new people in a new place: patience! You aren’t going to make a ton of best friends right away, and you may find that natives to your country-of-choice already have their social cliques, which can be hard to break into. The best thing I did was participate in as many events as possible. The grad student union had a few social nights at the local pub (where I met my future boyfriend), and some walking tours of campus. I also got a part-time job (more on that later), which helped me make friends (nothing like slave labor for creating bonds!).

Have any hobbies or other extracurricular interests? Pursue them! As an avid yogi, I joined a yoga studio soon after I arrived, so I was able to meet people with a common interest. I also hit up the school’s Fall club fair—it was a bit weird walking around the club tables with all the freshmen (I was 23!), but I sought out the popular tables and ended up joining a society that hosted debates and other interesting lectures, perfect for meeting all sorts of people.

Be outgoing, seek out social opportunities of all sorts, and don’t forget to have fun! In no time you’ll go from new-kid loner to social butterfly.