Bitter Waitress? Share your Horror Stories Here!


I’m convinced that food service has to be the first circle of hell.

When I was an undergrad, I worked at a local restaurant for about two years until my manager caught me trying to drown myself in a deep fryer (okay, so maybe not. But I sure thought about it). One night during homecoming (also known as our busiest night of the whole freaking year, folks!) this guy asked me for another set of silverware and I told him very genially that he could grab a set from the very next table. I was delivering food to a huge table now, mind you, so I couldn’t very well bend over, pick up the silverware and hand it to this guy.

He looked like I had slapped him and his wife exclaimed “You are so rude! How dare you speak to a man that way!” In my nicest waitress voice, I said, “Well excuse me, I’ve got to get back into the kitchen, where I belong.” and, under my breath, “Don’t choke on your food, now!”

If only I had known about then! It’s a website where waitresses can go to share their customer horror stories and list their crappiest tippers. There is often the odd encounter with a rude celebrity recounted on the website, too, like this run-in with Dan Marino, who, according to the waitress, tried to charge kids for his autographs.

It’s also a useful website for restaurant goers as well, to hear about their awful fellow patrons and realize some of the thoughtless things that they have been doing as customers.

One of my favorite parts of the site is the glossary, where they define such terms as “Hostess”:

In most cases, the bulimic 19 y.o. woman sleeping with the manager. In some (rare) cases, your greatest ally. In almost all cases, someone who is tipped out unnecessarily because the owner is too cheap to pay her.

and “Check” :

The thing you pay, and on which you tip 20% after tax. Check is a physical object, and not a command to be uttered. It is acceptable to make the pen gesture to request your check. If you have misbehaved, you will often find things added on to it. After all you are only meant to pay it, not to look at it.

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  1. C. Ryder - Universit says:

    I've visited bitter waitress for years and am so glad you wrote about it. I have countless waitress stories from that circle of hell to share, it's ridiculous. One day, when I was working at this upscale restaurant, I delivered a very hot dish in a ramekin. I pointed this out to the patron (who was a youngish business-twat). He was aghast, incredulous,"YOU, YOU . . ." He chortled. "You know what a ramekin is?"

    I replied, "Yes." (Fantasizing about throwing the fu*kin' thing in his face).

    He then demanded, "Point it out to me!"


  2. C. Ryder - University of Kansas says:

    Oh, and one last thing, I think people should be REQUIRED to have some crappy job in the service industry, because so many are oblivious about tipping, how demanding it is, etc.

    Especially the whole back of the house vs. front of the house . . .

  3. Sarah says:

    hear! hear! i totally agree it should be required because people are idiots on how much work the industry is as they sit back and decide to cut my tip in half because i didn’t fetch the ketchup in a timely manner suitable to their needs. (meaning i didn’t magically transport myself into the kitchen and back in .2 seconds)

    i saved this article because i thought it was hilarious. i love reading it when i’ve had a bad day.

  4. C. Ryder - Universit says:


    Thanks for the link, and you're sarcastic comments. You must, however, be aware of soemeting: as a waitress you SHOULD be literally in TWO places at the same time. Cut yourself in half already! Sheesh!

  5. Rose Ann Hill says:

    Worked as a waitress for 18 years at the same place. Why does someone think then you carry 6plates to a table of 6 on your arms that you have room for the bread . Hay wait a minute let me get the arm on my back to work for your lousy 3dollar tip king and queen of england. And if you want something you need to tell the waitress everything instead of one thing at a time from 6 different people. I worked a floor alone I had 3-6tables and 11-4tables and a bar with 6stools. The public is very demanding and spoiled. They want to change your menu to the way they want it because it's a small town I guess. Well you can't in any resturant get over people.
    And another thing your child is not the first kid that can build with butter and jelly packs it doesn't take talent. Just parents that want to be left alone. And please let them throw everything on the floor because we just live to clean up after you for your 4dollar tip . Bring us all arm guards to get us with all our tips to the bank.

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