Friends. No Benefits

April 19, 2008 11:00 am     Posted in Reality  Lauren - University of Michigan g+ page

24440985.jpgLast night, as I sat in a bowling alley surrounded by twelve guys, I realized that I don’t have many girl friends anymore (at least ones that aren’t 3,000 miles away). Yet, even though I spend a majority of my free-time with the male species, I am still a very single lady. It is not like I don’t like my guy friends – they are good looking, funny, smart, successful, sorta perfect – but I just don’t like them like that.


By Lauren

People are always asking me why I haven’t dated any of these guys yet, or even made out with any of them. I had never really thought about it before and once I did I realized it is weird. I mean, how many times have you made out with a close guy friend? And how many of your friends in relationships started out as “just friends” until they got drunk, made out in a dark corner and realized they loved each other? It seems like a natural progression: if a guy and a girl like each other enough to be best friends then, in theory, they should like each other enough to be more. I am just not sure I really believe that.

There is so much more to taking a friendship to another level than mere feelings. And it is those things that have kept me a friend-to-all-men. Maybe it’s an insecurity thing (“They would have made a move if they were interested”), maybe it’s a fear of ruining a really quality friendship (“It’s hard to find guys you feel comfortable discussing vibrators with!”) or maybe it’s just really f*&king weird to think about making out with any of these guys (“EW!”). They are like brothers to me; the thought of making it anything more is actually creating nauseating waves in my stomach.

Anybody got some Ginger-Ale? My boss tells me that one day I am going to wake up and realize that I am in love with my best friend and the only reason I don’t know it yet is because I am not giving it a chance. That may hold true, like Ross and Rachel or that new movie with McDreamy, but for now that is not even close to being on the radar. And should I really have to force myself to be sexually attracted to someone? Doesn’t that break some rules? These guys are my guys. End of story.

I know Harry (as in, the one who met Sally) said it is impossible for guys and girls to be friends. I disagree. And I have about 12 examples to prove it.

8 Comments on "Friends. No Benefits"

  1. Sar says:
    Wed, 23rd Apr 20086:48 am 

    Which guys ARE you attracted to, then? Perhaps you are gay. Only you know, of course.

  2. Some Dude says:
    Wed, 23rd Apr 20087:42 am 

    Hate to break it to you, but I would be willing to bet at least 11 of your 12 "guy friends" is just hanging in there and waiting for you to realize what a great guy he is and how much he likes you. Think I'm wrong? Here's the test: make a move on your "guy friends" and see how many give you the response that you would give to them if the tables were turned, i.e., "Sorry, but I just don't think about you that way." By the way, the 1 out of 12 who does give you that response is lying so that you won't think he is a creepy guy who has been hanging in the shadows all this time. It truly is how straight guys who hang out with girls without making any moves on them actually think. Many guys really don't know how to attract women and think if they are merely present and nice to a girl long enough, the girl will eventually notice what a great catch has been standing right in front of them all this time. Sad, but true.

  3. luv machine says:
    Thu, 23rd Apr 20097:40 pm 

    I think that maybe you need to spend less time trying to think of how to turn a guy down and more time thinking about how to get some experience with men without waiting for the perfect sexy man. Why not "settle" for now? If you're tired of waiting and they are too, what's the harm?

  4. sadie says:
    Tue, 14th Dec 20106:38 pm 

    Ok you need to run far away from that guy and completely lose his #, Email, facebook everything. You don't need him stringing you along while he indecisively flits from you to the GF. I guarantee you everything he complained about his GF to you, he's said about you to his GF. He probably told her some stupid story about how he felt bad for you because you two have been friends for so long and yet you're so desperately in love with him yadda yadda. The guy IS a narcissist and an attention whore. He just likes the idea of other girls being in love with him.

    You must get away!!!!

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