“Raise Your Glasses for Four Remaining A**es”, FOL 3 Recap: Episode 11

I know, I know, I missed episode ten. I guess that a Thing went home for what I presume was banging her ex like five minutes before she got to the house. Onward…

By Candy

Oh, so I also missed the first twenty minutes of this episode, but I’m sick so please cut me some slack. I tune in to see that Flav and Black are on a date at the Foundry and Flav’s pink suit and matching clock are P.I.M.P.

Why is there a magician at dinner? And a couch in the room? Flav is asking Black about her family and it looks like I missed a lot by skipping the first twenty minutes.

Thing 2 is the thing that stayed and we see her getting dessert ready for Flav so that she can steal some of Black’s night cap time. Flav is impressed with T2′s effort and ditches Black for some pudding and kiss time on the gazebo. T2 tells Flav that this first time alone with him is like losing her virginity again. Um, so it’s uncomfortable, awkward and really disappointing?

Seezinz apparently won some challenge the day before and goes on a date in the backyard with Flav. Where does Flav find sunglasses with dollar signs on them? People who wear those clearly have tons of cash.

In the backyard, we have lots of animals. Which I was sure Flav hated.

(During the commercial break, I see that “The Hills” is on and I want to watch so badly but I fight the urge to skip the rest of FOL…)

I like the idea of tigers. Like sleeping tigers. In a cage. I can’t believe Flav is feeding one.

During lunch, Seezinz tells Flav that Sinceer was wasted during the challenge. NOOO! I can’t believe I missed her finally being drunk!

Post-date, Flav tells the girls to call their families so that he can meet them the next day. Does VH1 pay for that airfare? My parents would not be too thrilled with hoping on a plane at the last minute to come see me embarrass the family by my appearance on a show to win Flavor Flav’s heart.

Anyway, Black has a super-religious family and no one will come out.

Man-Tree is still around. She’s writing on leaf-shaped paper all of her ‘secrets’. She’s been in videos, done extra work, magazines. So you’re totally going home.

(Why is Audrina back with Justin Bobby? So pretty and soooo stupid).

Eliminations: Tree and Sinceer are in the bottom two – and look at that, Proto-type went home, too. I’m so behind.

When Sinceer looks like she’s thinking too hard, she looks like a Star Trek: the Next Generation character.

Tree is being sent home for having a penis. Just kidding – it’s because she is there for TV exposure and not Flav. Don’t cry, Rashida.

We’re down to T2, Black, Sinceer and Seezinz. Wow, only one of the new girls lasted. Next day will be parents day followed by another elimination. Flav’s taking the remaining three to Paris. Great, like they don’t hate us enough over there…