Austrian Imprisons and Impregnates Daughter, Florida Senate Passes Vehicular Emasculation Bill, Reverend Wright’s Latest Defense, (and more!)

By Ccandysuzie

Hello! This is the inaugural article of the College Candy Kaleidoscope: a summary of the day’s news. I am your host (don’t laugh) Kandy Korrespondant! So, without further ado…

Reverend Jeremiah Wright, the now infamous pastor of Presidential contender Barack Obama, said on Monday that attacks on his fiery sermons represent a societal failure to understand black church traditions.

On Monday officials reported that a Drug Cartel war near the California-Mexico border town of Tijuana has resulted in at least fifteen deaths.

On Sunday, the New York Times exposed correspondence between the US Department of Justice and Congress stating that US intelligence officials working to stop terrorist attacks may use techniques banned under international law. This contradicts an Bush’s executive order last summer stating that the CIA would observe international law during detainee interrogations.

Three NYPD detectives on trial for the 2006 fatal shooting of 23 year old Sean Bell were acquitted on Friday. Bell died in a hail of bullets outside of a strip club hours before he was to marry Nicole Paultre. The detectives defended their actions saying that they thought Bell and his two friends were on their way perpetrate a drive-by shooting. None of the victims were armed and no gun was recovered from their car. Bell was shot 50 times.

During a rally following the verdict, Reverend Al Sharpton harshly criticized the judge’s decision and called for retribution.

“We strategically know how to stop the city so people stand still and realize that you do not have the right to shoot down unarmed, innocent civilians [...] This city is going to deal with the blood of Sean Bell.”

On Sunday, Chinese students attacked Pro-Tibet activists at the Olympic Torch relay in Seoul, South Korea as protesters attempted to prevent the torch from crossing one of the major rivers in the city.

A 73 year old man in Austria has admitted to imprisoning his daughter in his cellar and repeatedly impregnating her over the course of 24 years. The woman is now 42 years old and is being cared for by local authorities along with her six surviving children– the seventh died shortly after birth and the body was then burned by its’ monster of a sperm doner (you can’t call this man a father).

Move Over Finland! The residents of a Cairo slum, known as the Zableen, literally “garbage collectors”, are some of the most environmentally aware global inhabitants you’re ever likely to meet. The poor in countries such as Egypt are already facing the effects of environmental degradation and the Zableen have decided to do their part to stem the tide. The Zableen collect and recycle 80% of Cairo’s trash. Their work prompted UNESCO and Proctor & Gamble to create Mokattam Non-Formal Education Project– a school dedicated to educating the community about conservation and recycling. Local tradesmen are also working with the Solar Cities project to install solar water heaters throughout the community.

And now for something completely different

This past week, the Florida Senate passed a bill to emasculate all state vehicles. Yes… sadly, Floridians are now prohibited from placing those humorous fake bull testicles aka Truck Nutz, on their trailer hitches. A similar bill in Virginia was struck down this past January. And to think I used to believe state legislatures simply sat around wasting time and taxpayer money.

See ya tomorrow!