Girl, Stop Ditching Me For Your Boyfriend!

I don’t mean to be a Single Sally Always A Bridesmaid Never A Bride Party Pooper here or anything, but I’ve got to vent.

By Elizabeth

For as much as I want to see my friends happy and support them when they are in love, I have to admit, there are a couple things about most relationships that really gross me out. Namely? Co-dependency.

It doesn’t take long and I’m sure you have seen it. Your friend starts dating someone new. Soon, that person is all they talk about anymore. They can come out and hang, but only if they bring this new person with them. That wouldn’t be a problem EXCEPT they don’t act exactly naturally around that person. You start to feel alienated and so you try to invite your friend out for some one on one time. Canceled plans start becoming more frequent than they ever were before the ‘significant’ other came into play and you feel guilty for even thinking it…but who the f*ck does your friend think you are?

A freelance for hire friend, perhaps? A…”he’s busy tonight and I’m bored so lets hang out” friend? A…”he really ticked me off and I want to vent” friend?

This isn’t just one of my friends. It’s MANY of my friends all through my history. I suppose an argument could be that I need to come to terms with relationships, but you know what? When I have a boyfriend, I don’t blow my friends off for him! Plans are plans are plans. I keep my word and I expect my friends to as well. I love the fact that the people I care about know that my shoulder is here for them to cry on, but I can’t lie, sometimes I feel a little more than frustrated with those friends who are so easily swayed to the nesting grounds.

They used to love partying until HE said it was ‘slutty’ or made some comment of the sort.

They used to get their asses out of bed for lunch, but now HE wants to have sex again. And again. And there is no time for social interaction with people who will STILL be there when all of this romance dies down.

They used to be confident and know they were worthy of affection until HE made them feel insecure. Now every conversation eventually leads to me giving my friends a pep talk about how they’re ‘pretty’ and ‘smart’ and all sorts of other things that they used to know before he came along.

It goes on.

Jealousy is not the issue I have here. I love to see my friends in healthy relationships and for the few of them who are, in fact, in love with someone who treats them right, they KNOW I’m ecstatic for them and wish their relationship nothing but the best. Ironically, my friends who are in the healthiest of relationships never have a problem with keeping their plans. They never have a problem with not obsessing over their boyfriends. They never have a problem with seeing the overall value of friendship in their lives.

So to everyone else, what gives? Why is receiving love and affection from someone so altering of who you used to be? Has anyone else watched this happen to their own friends?