Nice Guys Do Finish Last — At Least With Me

May 12, 2008     Posted in Reality

girl getting flower from guyI have to admit, I’ve been that girl boo-hooing to her friends that every guy she meets is a jerk, every guy she has ever dated was a jerk, and why oh why can’t I just find a nice guy?? I’ve made these comments on multiple occasions, and then, the other weekend…I met a nice guy (at a bar no less. Guess the old adage “you don’t meet nice guys in bars” was a lie).


By CC Staff

We had a date, then a second and third, and then I stopped calling him.

After three dates we had kissed once, he was talking about taking me to his hometown (across the country) to meet his family, he called me beautiful all the time, and sent me texts like “a beautiful girl like you should enjoy this beautiful day – with love.” I don’t have the stomach for that kind of flattery and adoration, nor am I used to it.

It has been my experience that nice guys are too easy (and not in a slutty way…trust me). They are no challenge, they are no mystery, they are annoying. They don’t make you wait days for their call, they don’t text you on the first night you met and toss off some cheap scam-line, they don’t make you wonder if they actually like you. And where is the fun in pursuing someone if you don’t doubt yourself or how the other person feels about you, and make up rationalizations of why this cute stranger hasn’t called you back after you made out with him the other night? Sure, I know I am a masochist – but when a guy is disinterested is when I get onboard.

Nice guys aren’t a myth, and they aren’t few and far between, they are out there — and there is a reason no one wants them: they are too nice. They will complement you genuinely and often, they won’t make a move on the first date – they usually don’t ever make the first move, they say things like “I just like looking at you” and are serious, they want to know everything about you, and they try to do things like introduce you to their parents after 3 dates.

Don’t get me wrong, I will still date the occasional nice guy, but only after a rough stint with a not-so-nice-guy. It’s good for the ego and helps me get back in the saddle for more mind games and drama.

8 Comments on "Nice Guys Do Finish Last — At Least With Me"

  1. emily says:
    Mon, 12th May 20088:19 am 

    i feel the same way! i don't want to be strung along, but i need at least a little challenge. i like the chase! if i can't chase a little, no thanks. i freak out and feel smothered and end it. notice how nice guys are also very clingy? they ALWAYS want to hang out all the time! no thanks, i'll stay with my singledom please.

  2. A.L. Hart - Universi says:
    Mon, 12th May 20088:52 am 

    Okay I can completely empathise with this. I recently met a relly nice guy, he was really sweet, I mean he didn't even approach me directly he asked my friend first if it was okay to talk to me and complimented me too much. He wanted to know everything about me and told me relly deep stuff aout him etc. which I didn't like cuz i am quite a secretive person and when i got home he texted me straight away. I txted him back but now he hasn't replied…and this has now intrigued me. So now that he is playing the 'game' I feel more attracted to him. Perhaps I am just a novelty that's worn off or perhaps he's just not that interested. God i hate it because now i am more interested in him. What is wrong with us womenfolk and our love of pain!

  3. JR says:
    Mon, 12th May 20082:09 pm 

    I'm a guy and people consider me as a "nice guy".But this guy is beyond nice, meeting the family after 3 dates is kinda early. I know I did that (not after 3 dates, but early in the relationship nonotheless); and let me tell you, it's both embarassing for the family and for the date.

    I can understand how it feels to wanna share everything with the other one, to show your family and stuff, but you have to wait some time just to get to know each other enough, before introducing anyone else in the equuation. I just hope (for you girls) that those "way too nice guys" learn about their mistakes and try to improve, instead of turning bad because they think that's what women wants..

  4. Mike says:
    Mon, 12th May 20085:11 pm 

    Wow, girls are so mean!! This is why guys become assholes, look what happens when we try to be nice, we always get screwed over. One thing is for sure, Oregon girls suck!!

  5. Carson says:
    Wed, 14th May 20081:28 pm 

    It isn't about this guy being too nice, or a girl only going for 'bad boys', but the games we play during initial dates.

    You assume that because the guy is interested (OK, maybe too interested) or that he compliments you (OK, maybe too much) or that he is chasing you (OK, he is past chasing, more like ready to take you down the aisle), but you ASSUME that because of all this that he isn't interesting, mysterious, or fun. …

    So from a guy's perspective, does that mean that we should all be non-interested jerks who let girls chase us? Clearly that isn't the way to go, or at least not to get a girl we actually want, but that is what the article seems to suggest.

    But the problem is probably just the games we play. This guy probably thought that if he told you that you were beautiful and acted really, really interested, that you would think it is sweet and that you would love him because of his interest in his family and how he appears to be goal-oriented……. he thought that was the game to play to get the girl, while the girl turns around, in a negative fashion, complaining that the guy should do the opposite, to keep things interesting……….. and some guys wonder why they don't understand girls……….

  6. Gonzo says:
    Sat, 19th Jul 20084:13 pm 

    Wow, budding lesbians…most of you. Decent guys try and get walked on. Thanks for the insight.

  7. Harold says:
    Mon, 28th Jul 20085:27 am 

    How do you make a move on the first date without being accused of sexual harassment?

  8. Muffins says:
    Sun, 15th Feb 20091:12 pm 

    Harold, you have to watch their body language. Girls tend to make sure to let you know when they want to be kissed, and they tend to do it in a more subtle way. Watch, listen, and then move. And last time I checked, trying to kiss a girl on a date is rarely ever grounds for sexual harassment. good luck man.

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