www.I’mAddictedtoTheInternet.Com

I spend about 10 hours a day online at work. When I finally dislodge my ass from the chair and head home for the evening, I check my email on my phone while stuck in traffic, or sitting at red lights. When I get home, I power up my laptop and settle in for an evening with my trusty friend, Mr. Internet.

By Lauren

I talk to my friends online. I shop online. I work online. I date online. I stalk online.

My life revolves around the computer and it’s starting to show.

Since I started using AOL in second grade, my social life has moved from the actual world into the World Wide Web. The internet makes it all so easy! Like talking to my friends in other countries or, more central to my life, confronting people and bitching them out when they piss me off.

You know you’ve been there; you have so many things you want to say to someone (like, I don’t know…an ex?) but pussy out when you try to talk to them in person. So, you bring it all up on AIM. And the shit starts flying. You lay it all on the table, turn away from the screen as you click “send” and wait for AIM to tell you if they are typing a response. (Bonus points if you also tune into some really awesome angry/tear jerker songs to set the mood.)

I know I’m not alone. We all do it because it is just so easy; so perfect. Why do it in person when you can say anything you want without having to see the other person’s face?

Unfortunately, having grown up with this alternate form of communication, I have come to depend on it. It has gotten so bad that the other day I started to yell at my friend, stopped, left, and IMed her when I got back to my apartment. Now that is pathetic. My quest for a man is even worse. I can barely flirt in person anymore; if it doesn’t involve emoticons, I’m not doing it.

I am no longer capable of normal human contact.

I never really noticed how bad things had gotten until last week. I decided it was time to quit my job, but when my brother told me I couldn’t do it over the office instant messenger program, I freaked out. How the hell was I going to do this in person!?

After many sleepless nights trying to come up with the right words, I did eventually tell my bosses that I was leaving….staring at the floor/sweating the entire time. And then I signed into Gmail and announced the news to all of my friends.

Help.