Big Boobs versus Big Heart: Flavor of Love 3 Finale

And here it is – the finale that no one really cares about.

By CC Staff

I’m calling Thing 2 for the win since he flew her ass out to France for this.

T2, Sinceer and Black are the last three standing either in France or in Fort Lauderdale, I still haven’t figured this out. Someone’s going home in the morning, which means that we’re probably in for a sloppy, whiny night. I guess Black and T2 are going to gang up to get Sinceer and her forehead out.

And I was totally wrong – there was no sloppy ‘please don’t eliminate me’ hook up. Flav sits with them as they eat breakfast and pretends to be saddened by the decision that he was to make. He has three tickets in his hands – one to Paris, one to Monaco and one to LA.

T2 and her ginormous gold hoops are going to Paris.

Black hopes that Flav sees her for who she is – if who you are is that pair of massive breasts, then you’re set.

Flav makes Sinceer and Black give him reasons why they should go to Monaco with him and I refuse to listen to this. Apparently Flav doesn’t want to hear it either since it’s a lot of screaming and no words.

He tells Sinceer that he has a great connection with her but that romantically he’s more connected to Black. Frigging finally – I’m glad that Sinceer and her forehead are going to LA.

Monaco is the first stop and I am shocked the VH1 sprung the change for this helicopter ride to Monaco, an Excalibur to get them to their hotel. It’s a fabulous city – far too fab for Flav. Who passes out during the ride.

Black and Flav are staying at the Royal Riviera and there is only time for them to have dinner together, where Flav gives Black a watch with a pink strap and a heart shaped face surrounded by diamonds. I hate it; I’m sure that T2 will love it as much as Black loves it. He then presents her with a list of questions, one of which is, “Can you make me laugh?”

Yeah, probably not. Black, I’ve got a nun joke that I’ll sell to you right now. Not that it matters if she can even speak, he thinks that she’s way, way hot.

He then asks her, “What would our lives be like together?” Oh, please, Flav. “I will treat your child like he’s my own.”

You are neva gonna meet her son. This is all followed by a night cap of yuck. FYI, Flav and VH1, rose petals on a bed are not romantical because they STICK to you.

Next day, T2 and Flav go to Paris together and Flav makes Americans look demure and classy by sticking his head out of the limo moon roof and screaming his name. At least I believe that they are in France with this episode. You can’t get more Parisian than the Louvre and Eifel Tower.

When they get to the hotel, the doorman confuses Flav with Prince. WTF, how could anyone in any country do that?

At dinner, I am utterly shocked that Flav gives T2 the same watch that he gave to Black.

Flav’s got the same list of questions for T2 but at least she can try to tell a really bad joke.

He asks her for a nightcap and the girl said NO. She’s the only one to do it out of all of the FOL seasons. Good for you, T2.

And is it time for ELIMINATIONS!  At long last.

Flav’s doing this last one up “big” because there won’t be a season fo’.

Who will he choose? Big heart or big boobs?

No shock to me – T2 is the winner.

In sum: this was the most boring season ever. And my boredom was due primarily to the fact that this was tired and forced. As I’ve said, no one was there for Flav; Flav was not even there for love.

I felt like in the first season there was some level of need on Flav’s part – like he actually looked sad during the season one reunion that it didn’t work out with Hoopz. Maybe he got wise to it all and tried to make the most (money out) of it.

But of course the REUNION is still to come and Flav proposes. Stay tuned for the very last episode.