Remember When Lindsay Lohan Didn’t Suck?

May 21, 2008 - 3:30 pm By ccandysarah

Yeah, I don’t remember either. I watched The Parent Trap the other day, and it got me thinking—how did Lilo go from precocious red-headed youngster to alcoholic coke-whore sex fiend?

Oh right. It was her mother.

Mrs. Lohan recently won a “Top Mom” award from a charity in her native Long Island, an award which the charity’s president doesn’t seem to find ironic at all. Let’s face it: Dina Lohan is the worst mother. Ever.

She is the culmination of a trend that started in the 80’s and 90’s of the “cool mom”. The era of the MILF, moms started focusing on being cool and fun, and along the way, forgot how to be MOMS.

These days, raising a child is all about raising their self esteem—telling them they can achieve whatever they want if they put their mind to it, no matter the odds. While this is an inspiring message, it can be deceiving if say, your child wants to be a singer but cracks glass with their voice. Ever watched the audition episodes of American Idol, where some enraged mother storms in demanding to know why her precious baby has been rejected? Perhaps it’s because her precious baby can’t sing.

The bigger problem arises when the child is actually talented or successful, as is the case with Lindsay. The little girl could act, and her rapid rise to fame proved everything her mother probably told her all along: you can have ANYTHING you want, as long as you put your mind to it. Combine that with the fact that Dina is clearly living vicariously through her daughter’s fame, showing up to every red carpet event overly tanned and with tits out all over the place, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster.

Now Dina is dragging the littlest Lohan, Ali, into the mix by thrusting her into the spotlight as well, although we’ve yet to figure out what it is exactly that Ali has going for her, besides being Lindsay’s sister. And yet Dina and Ali now have their own reality TV show, Living Lohan, which will track the two doing…what, exactly? Lindsay does not plan to be a part of the show (shocking).

So congratulations Dina Lohan, you are officially the worst mom to ever receive a mother of the year award. Lindsay must be so proud!