Not getting laid? You’re Probably Just Not Trying

May 28, 2008     Posted in Relationships, Sex

Guys tell me all the time…


By CC Staff

“You know, if you wanted to have sex, all you have to do is….go have it.”

Over the years, I have learned that these guys are telling me the truth. As a reasonably attractive female who works out and eats right and has a body to show for it, finding a guy to have sex with hasn’t ever really been tough. Throw in the fact that I’m more intelligent than a lot of girls I meet and definitely more laid back…and lets just say that the sex in my life should be plentiful. But it’s not.

A friend was asking me about this yesterday. He finally came to a conclusion:

“You know what? You just don’t give a f*ck. Cause if you gave a f*ck, you’d be having sex.”

And I realized, just like that, that he was right. I keep complaining about the fact that I’m not meeting guys who I want to be physical with, but lets face it, I’m probably not trying.

And if you’re a reasonably attractive and intelligent girl out there feeling a little unlucky with sex lately, the deal is probably the same for you. I hate to say it ladies, but guys don’t have a lot of standards about who they’ll sleep with. If you’re not getting laid, you probably just don’t want to — at least with the prospects you currently have.

12 Comments on "Not getting laid? You’re Probably Just Not Trying"

  1. Jess says:
    Wed, 28th May 200811:50 am 

    I am so in the same boat as you girl. But my question is how does a 'reasonably attractive and intelligent girl who isn't getting any,' get out of this rut and realize it is pretty much impossible for any guy to meet the insanely high standards created?

  2. Nick says:
    Wed, 28th May 200812:15 pm 

    Great blog. If you're looking for a date – let me know.

  3. Michael says:
    Wed, 28th May 20082:08 pm 

    You sound a little hard on yourself like you are blaming yourself for something. There are shallow people in the world, who just need to have a physical relationship to feel ok about themselves. You have an opportunity to find a relationship that meets all your needs, physical, emotional, and spiritual. You might use your own awareness when talking to a guy to see if you are actually making a genuine connection with him or is it just small talk.

    Good luck

    P.S. I have never been on this site before but your comments brought me here.

  4. Amber says:
    Wed, 28th May 20086:52 pm 

    I too, have this problem. So are you saying if I gave a f*ck more about sex, I'd be getting some? And Jess, I think you just answered your own question…if girls stopped looking for men straight from the pages of GQ, there would'nt be this problem.

  5. Chih says:
    Wed, 4th Jun 20087:11 am 

    I couldn't agree more with this blog. I think there is a huge difference between getting laid and having physical intimacy. This is true for both guys and girls, but I think it is more about getting laid for guys versus girls. I think women (and some men) need physical intimacy. What is that you might ask? Well, in my opinion, it's when you have found someone that you totally click with and they understand where you are coming from. They are your friend whom you trust and whom is honest with you when it comes to things. It probably doesn't hurt that they are cute too! Anyways, it's someone that you feel comfortable around and who isn't going to hurt you in the end.

  6. Anna says:
    Wed, 4th Jun 20084:31 pm 

    I think that guys have more going for them than you give them credit for. And any guy without "a lot of standards about who they’ll sleep with" is probably not one you want to be having sex with. Do you really want to get laid by someone with no standards? :(

  7. Quan says:
    Fri, 6th Jun 20086:31 am 

    there are lots of good guys out there, but they're hard to find.

    You will make mistakes anyways so why afraid? learn from experience

  8. mallory says:
    Sat, 7th Jun 20085:32 pm 

    I'm in the same boat right now. it's horrible! Normally booty calls are ringing off the hook for me, but of course when it rains it pours and then comes the drought.

  9. Professor says:
    Fri, 27th Jun 200810:58 am 

    Isn't this why a lot of young ladies forget about dating the college guys and seek out a relationship with older men? Someone who is as stimulated by her mind as by her body?

    If you would like to chat more on this – let me know…

  10. Melissa says:
    Sat, 11th Oct 200812:22 am 

    So is that the reason? I think I agree with Jess though… I'm totally down with getting some, but on the other hand, when I go out, I don't see anyone cute/fun/smart enough to get busy with…

  11. neil says:
    Mon, 13th Oct 20088:36 pm 

    i could give great advice, being a jr in college ive experienced a lot…hit me up, leave ur sn or something

  12. professorx says:
    Wed, 12th Nov 20084:32 pm 

    Yeah wait till yer older and get married. you wont want sex then , trust me!

    http://www.hateyourprofessor.com

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