Rashes and Pap Smears…Your Date Will Love It!

We all know we’re not supposed to mention our ex-boyfriends when we’re on a first date with a new hottie. Common sense, right? An article on The Frisky puts ex-boyfriend as the #1 word not to mention as a first date. But what about the other top 4 words you’re not supposed to mention? Maybe not so obvious. Or maybe completely and sickeningly obvious. Do they really think we’re that dumb?

By Sues

Coming in at #4 ion the list of words not to say on a first day is rash. You know, that skin condition you have that may have been caused by the sun, but might also have been caused by another’s bodily fluids (the forbidden ex-boyfriend, perhaps?). Oh, and it may or may not be contagious. Every guy’s dream come true! Come on, girls. If you’re talking about your rashes on a first date, I’m going to take a wager and guess that you’ve never had a boyfriend. Unless he’s the constantly sick, allergic to everything type.

Moving on. The #3 word to never say on a first date is loins. Um, ok. Can I ask when any girl would even have the opportunity to use the word “loins” on a first date…or ever, really? Unless of course she pulls her loin(s) at the gym. And even then, she should probably know not to be talking about that. The article says, “Weird words for genitalia give people the creeps.” True. However, doesn’t talking about genitalia on a first date, no matter what you refer to it as, give people the creeps? It would me.

The #2 is debt. Alright, maybe a bit more understandable. Lots of us are in a bit of debt due to college loans, and that’s nothing to be ashamed about. However, I’m not really sure why you would be talking about your financial situation on a first date, especially your lack of a financial situation. How would you feel if a guy mentioned his total and complete lack of money on date #1? That’s what I thought.

And now for the finale. The big #1 word is…ready for this? Pap. Yup, pap. And we’re not talking about your old Grand-Pappy. We’re talking the big pap smear. Um, hi girls. Is there any reason in the universe for you to be talking about pap smears on a first date?? If there is, please fill me in! I was with my ex for 3 years and I don’t think I ever mentioned the word “pap.” I may have said I was going to the gynecologist, but really, pap isn’t a word that comes up in every day conversation. If you’re using the word pap on a first date, I’m going to put it all out there right now and say there is absolutely no hope for you. Sorry.

I have a better list of words not to use on the first date that is probably be a bit more helpful to most girls with an average IQ. It includes:

Babies (as in how many you want to have)

Internal-Clock (as in how it’s running out)

Future (as in yours together as a couple)

Love (as in how you’re falling into it/like falling into it/want to fall into it/etc.)

Fetish (as in how many you want to try out with him…or anyone else)

But still…I just can’t get over who on Earth would mention pap on a first date. And if you do, I think you might need to get something else checked out next time you’re at the doctor.