The Problem (?!) of Singleness

Someone very close to me is 22 years old and has never had a girlfriend. He is not gay (yes, I’m sure), and moreover, he doesn’t want a girlfriend. In my mind, I picture him as always being just by himself—that same picture with the inclusion of a romantic partner just seems weird to me.

Is there something wrong with that?

That’s the question, isn’t it? In a world where it’s normal to partner up, get married, and have children, it often seems to me that those who fall outside the norm are harassed for it. What exactly is so wrong about wanting to be single for always? In my mind, that’s a matter of preference and a personal choice for which no one should be discriminated against.

If a person is single and wants to be in a relationship or have children, that’s one thing. But if they don’t—lay off!

Sometimes it’s parents who are the culprits. If their child doesn’t seem to want the suburban dream of a spouse and a decimal-pointed number of children, that child is looked at as an anomaly. “When are you going to get married?” the parents will drone—or, even worse, “When am I going to get some grandchildren?”

To those parents, I say, Go volunteer at a preschool, and leave your kid alone.

Just as it’s any married person’s choice who to marry and why to marry, it’s any other person’s choice and right not to do the same. Just because someone is past the glow of youth, is not married, and does not have children does not mean that person is a pedophile, a criminal, socially awkward, or desperately unhappy.

Singleness is not a problem to fix. Period.

[photo from www.nubar.com]