Shopping for a Sugar Daddy
My Sex Diary made me come to terms with a heretofore unrealized love for older men. There is that horrible stereotype about men aging better than women, and although I won’t speak for older women, I can absolutely attest to the fact that many guys seem to go the way of the fine wine and age deliciously. I’m in the market for an (imaginary) sugar daddy. Let’s go shopping.
Mike Rowe-46. Mike was exactly my age when I was born, meaning, of course, that he is twice as old as I am. But what is age when you have a body like that? And a voice? And a sense of humor? And he’s not afraid to get dirty, which has awesomely naughty implications. I’ve watched his show, Dirty Jobs, and seen him in the most disgusting of circumstances, but being covered by any number of horrible substances doesn’t dampen my desire for the man one tiny bit.
Viggo Mortenson-50. This man is fifty! Anyone who has seen Viggo’s naked fight scene in Eastern Promises would be flabbergasted to imagine that his body could belong to a fifty year old. I admire his acting ability, yes, but he’s on the list of prospective sugar daddies out of pure and unadulterated lust.
Penn Jillette-53. I have a really inexplicable crush on this guy. It’s probably best that we not go into it.
John Edwards-54 G*ddamn if he isn’t a good looking man. He’s all dimples and southern charm, working against poverty. I don’t know what is sexier than trying to abolish poverty. Plus, the guy has a great sense of humor, as his appearances on The Daily Show can attest. I would share a jet ski with you any day, Mr. Edwards. Especially if it means that you will be a bathing suit.
David Bowie-61. This man will be sexy in his 80’s. It’s really less about the looks and more about the attitude, the legacy. The only drawback is that even in his 60’s, he is probably way more sexually adventurous than I am. I don’t know if I could keep up with him, but it would sure be fun to try.
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Molly says:
Sat, 7th Jun 20082:17 pm
Yes yes yes!! I LOVE THIS LIST!
Mike Rowe is pretty much my future husband, as is Viggo. Actually, I have a long list of future (and ex, I suppose) husbands.
My friends always give me a hard time about liking older men, it's nice to know I'm not alone!
Audrey says:
Sat, 7th Jun 20084:31 pm
Oh god, Mike Rowe!! Any man who is willing to get that dirty…!!
Mary says:
Sat, 7th Jun 20084:50 pm
i'll be mike rowe's dirty job any day ;]
J - NYU says:
Sat, 7th Jun 20085:15 pm
Is it weird that I'm kind of crushing on Anthony Bordain?
Heather says:
Sat, 7th Jun 20089:42 pm
You should have added the guy who plays Mike on Desperate Housewives! G'damn.
Amber says:
Sun, 8th Jun 200812:53 pm
I was wondering if I was the only one who found Mike Rowe delicious! God, that man melts my butter! It's not just that he is BUILT, but his personality shines, atleast on the show.
David Bowie, who needs to say more?? The man is just sexy, sexy, sexy, sexy.
Koley says:
Sun, 8th Jun 20082:31 pm
There is absolutely nothing wrong with Anthony Bourdain. What's not to love about an adventurous man who can sleep on a rooftop in India… without having to be coerced.
Katherine says:
Mon, 9th Jun 20086:17 am
omg I LOVE JOHN EDWARDS!!! He is sooo adorable! idk why but I think men in politics r so sexy!! mayb its the power idk but dammit his wife is one lucky lady and ok this is gonna make me weird but I'm also sooooo attracted to Bill Clinton!! idk what is it about him but I find him so hot!
P.S. older men are like the sexiest honestly!! if I had a penny for every older guy who made my water boil I wouldn't need loans 4 college
fountain says:
Tue, 10th Jun 20088:40 pm
I'm gonna have to start watching Dirty Jobs.
Oh and I'd definitely f*ck David Bowie.
brittany says:
Wed, 11th Jun 20081:33 pm
oooh, there is something so yummy about a man with that much experience, it really breeds sexual confidence in them,mmmmmmmmmmmm yummy yummy yummy
Mary H says:
Thu, 12th Jun 20089:01 pm
J NYU,
I love Anthony Bourdain too. Good lord that man is sexy.
Nina says:
Wed, 14th Jan 20094:38 pm
wow.. MIke Rowe.. what can I say. Him and Hugh Laurie, with or without the American accent. He's 49, Mike is 46, I'm 20… hey my parents are 12 years apart, that's always given me hope!
It seems like older guys like that are the ones that give me goosebumps and get that feeling in the pit of my stomach…
My boyfriend is the only guy my age that makes me do that! haha
Lara says:
Mon, 15th Jun 200910:18 pm
I totally agree with you on Mike Rowe!
Mike Rowe, Hugh Laurie, Jon Stewart & Stephen Colbert (I've recently developed a little crush on these two funny-men), Anthony Bourdain… wow… definitely sugar daddy material!!
I'm just gonna throw this one out there cause he may be "sugar grand-daddy" material since I'm 23… but Gabriel Byrne has got me fantasizing ever since I got hooked on "In Treatment".
Great post!