When to Keep Your Mouth Shut…Five Subjects to Avoid on a First Date

I’ve been dating for longer than I’d like to admit, and I’ve had my fair share of the good, the bad and the ugly. Over the course of the years, I’ve learned that there are certain subjects that give guys the heebie jeebies and make them run for the hills, no matter how beautiful, smart, talented and desirable you are. So in response to my fellow CC writer, I decided to go into a bit more depth on things not to discuss on a first date…

5. Money: Sure, it’s what makes the world go ’round and as young people, we often have money woes, but it’s a touchy subject that is best to avoid early on. Money can be a point of contention even in the strongest of relationships, so it’s a good idea to keep it out of the picture (aside from the whole payment of the date issue) in the beginning of things.

4. Your Current Drama: Whether it’s a crazy roommate situation, family turmoil, a health problem or as mentioned above, money issues, that’s the last thing a guy wants to hear about when he’s just trying to figure out if he wants to take you out for date number two. While it’s easy to want to vent about what’s stressing us out, save the drama for yo momma or your best friend, or anyone else who knows you well enough to understand your frustrations and help you through them, dumping it on some poor unsuspecting guy will have him dumping you.

3. Super Serious Issues: Your parents are getting a divorce, you just lost a loved one, your best friend got engaged and it has you feeling like you’ll never find “the one”; all very important issues that affect us personally, and like number 4, things that play a very important role in our lives and who we are, but too much to reveal too soon. Eventually, if the date leads to more dates and at some point, a relationship, you’ll have plenty of time to talk to him about these things and count him as someone to lean on, but for now, go cry on someone else’s shoulder.

2. The Ghosts of Your Past: We all have skeletons in our closet, without our pasts we wouldn’t be our present selves, but on a first date he doesn’t need to know all about your ex-boyfriends, your childhood traumas (unless it’s a hilarious story of how traumatized you were when your parents wouldn’t let you go to the Backstreet Boys concert), how many people you’ve slept with or any of your other deep, dark secrets. There’ll come a time when you can reveal all of those things you believe make you, you, just wait until he’s your boyfriend first.

1. The “M” Word: Yes, for the most part, when we’re dating in our 20’s and early 30’s, the goal is to eventually find a mate, someone to marry and start a family with. We’re all aware of that, and trust me, guys are too, so there is really no point in bringing up the white picket fence, dream house, and 3.5 kids you fantasize about having some day. This is the quickest way to get a guy to throw on the Nikes and run as fast as possible.

Overall, it’s all about keeping things light and fun…you want him to know how absolutely fabulous you are, so be yourself, he just doesn’t have to know every gritty little detail about you from day one. Eventually, when Mr. Right comes along, and he gets the chance to know all of that, he’ll love every bit of it.