Crazy Sex Positions? Totally worth it.
Sometimes I work out these elaborate sex scenes in my head. It’s like I’m a porn star-but even cooler cause I have more creative moves and not so much lip liner. I’m usually on my way to meet some potentially sexy dude when these fantasies take place. They’re like confidence assemblies in my mind. I’m usually wearing lacey panties and have embodied Shane from The L Word, except I’m straight. So me and sexy dude meet up, and invariably, we flirt over drinks. Alcohol does its job at making me even more sold on the idea of crazy sex moves while making me more incapable of them simultaneously.
Ohhhh, alcohol.
Lets skip to the part where sexy dude and I are about to do it.
I’m blurry. It’s late. I’m tired. But I’m a f*cking sport, God-damnit, and I step up to the hot sex positions plate. I love having sex, but I don’t have it all the time because I happen to also love being single. This means I can only have sex on those days I meet a guy who doesn’t make me want to punch him. Since sex can sometimes be an infrequent thing for me, I’m sure as hell not gonna blow it by doin’ the same old, even if I am drunk and an all around mess. Nope, no way.
I’m always a fan of branching out sexually. Luckily, being wiling to try new things can pay off more than you know. Example? Here you go:
I met a dude – skanky and yet sweet enough to earn my liking – last weekend. He started biting my neck while dancing at a club. (Drool. For the record, biting is green light for kinky sex.) We came back to my place and had so much sex. So much. For days. In every way possible. It was the most marvelous thing ever.
Did you know that it is possible to have both of your feet massaged and kissed while doing the nasty? Well, it is. And it feels awesome. My point is that there is some merit to crazy sex positions. You can only feel so much doing it missionary and, let me tell you, ladies, that feeling doesn’t cut it. Not only do crazy sex positions keep sex interesting, but they also can blow. your. mind.
Cosmopolitan managed to somehow hit on my three favorite positions in one of their guides online. The fore-mentioned foot kissing one? Yeah, here ya go; it’s called the slow climb. Except the dude in this illustration isn’t kissing her feet…because he’s a bastard and not a hot skank.
Since all ladies like being referred to as dogs, go ahead and embrace the concept of the down dog. OK, the name kinda sucks, but if you keep your legs totally closed on this one, it rocks.
The lusty lap dance, finally, is not as generic as it sounds. In fact, I kind of love it as long as I like kissing the guy I’m sleeping with, which….sigh….just isn’t always the case.
So don’t let your lack of sobriety (or fear of sexjury) lead you down a dead end path of mundane sex. Screw that. Wear your hot panties and have hot sex. It’s worth it.
[Photo courtesy of About.com]
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Britt says:
Wed, 11th Jun 20085:48 am
Turns out I've done those positions and not even known it! The things one can learn on the internet…
Jake says:
Wed, 11th Jun 200810:18 am
That legs-over-shoulders position is ridiculously good, very very deep though so the guy has to be careful not to go too deep or fast if she doesn't fancy that.
It feels so so good, and looking down it's a very nice view framed by her legs.
The lying down doggy one is a great one as well, one of my favourites. We both have fine taste.
http://factsandfriction.blogspot.com/
Darcy says:
Wed, 11th Jun 200810:57 am
Haha, I've done all of these already
They're all good
Sarah says:
Wed, 11th Jun 200811:18 am
LOL, I love the Shane reference–I would totally switch teams for her!
Wu-TangDorkfoshizzle says:
Thu, 12th Jun 20087:05 am
Here’s an idea for a great sorority haze–Screw the nerd! But not in public, cuz we’re uncomfortable with public sex unlike u sluts!
Wu-TangDorkfoshizzle says:
Thu, 12th Jun 20087:06 am
I GOT A BIG DONG!
Lauren, University o says:
Fri, 13th Jun 20083:53 am
Wu-Tang…that is not the way to woo women. If you want to get a girl, email me. I will give you some tips.
Wu-TangDorkfoshizzle says:
Fri, 13th Jun 20083:32 pm
I just figured that since so many women on this site discuss penises and everything imaginable having to do with them and also with vaginas, I don't so why I can't talk about my humongous pole of manmeat!
Rhiannon says:
Fri, 13th Jun 20087:25 pm
Shouldn't you want to kiss the guy? You are risking STDs and pregnancy. He doesn't have to be your boyfriend but COME ON.
Kel says:
Fri, 20th Jun 200811:09 am
Some guys just aren't as good as kissing as they are at other things. I don't think there is anything wrong with focusing on what the guy is good at
Wu-TangDorkfoshizzle says:
Sat, 21st Jun 20088:54 am
I'm good at doggystyle because I hump my desk to porno. Sometimes I even use pillows to practice picking chicks up while I pork them!
cuntlicker says:
Wed, 2nd Jul 20085:29 am
hahah im screwing this random chick right now
SxyBabiiGUrl says:
Sun, 5th Apr 20096:51 pm
i love it whenever my boyfriend and i are doing missionary and he slows up but still keeps the tension. then he goes faster. it helps lol. ;P
Scorpio says:
Tue, 29th Sep 200912:29 pm
well i just lost my virginity and woo it was way crazy no missionary style here. more like hit it from da back and riding it was fun tho and it felt so much better on top. and my bf is such a freak so like it wasnt like regular sex just hitting it, it was more passionate and tension made it better and kinky i loved every moment. and then we cuddled and he was expressing his self to me which made the moment better most guys are like ah what ever and then leave but this didnt happened like that and he was a virgin to so it made it all the better but he didnt move like a virgin and rite after he was like"yes!! im not a virgin any more" and i laughed it was sooh funny.
shaunbrown says:
Tue, 27th Oct 20092:05 pm
i like doggy style and licking skeet off of my boyfriend and when he cums all in my hair