I Think I’ll Rent My Own: Movies Everyone Adores…Except Me

With Indiana Jones waving at me at least once a day from billboards or the radio or the TV, it’s clear that the season of summer blockbusters is upon us.

Usually, I don’t want to see any of the summer blockbusters. The fact that I want to see a handful is pretty amazing. See, I’m not really a movie person. My girlfriend is, and we tend to clash; she loves to watch two or three movies in a day, when that’s usually my ratio for the week.

And then, when we do agree, there’s the fact that there are some movies that no matter how popular they are, I just don’t like them. I’m sure I’ll get a lot of flak for this countdown list, but here are some of the movies that everyone seems to love that I just am not overly fond of.

10. 2001: A Space Odyssey. Now, this is on the top of the list because I really DID enjoy it, up until Hal…well, you’ll know when you see it, if you haven’t already. The movie pretty much lost all interest to me after that. I stopped being concerned about David and totally fell asleep during the outrageously long trip sequence. In fact, it always puts me to sleep, so maybe I should buy a copy just to have on hand when the insomnia hits.

9. Pirates of the Caribbean. Now, hold on before you jump down my neck. I adored the first Pirates, and it’s definitely on my list of favorite movies. But the sequels bored and kind of irked me.

8. Saving Private Ryan. I’m not saying it’s not a GOOD movie. I just didn’t enjoy it. I think maybe it was because when it came out, I was at the age that a movie that started the way SPR did was not something I could handle. Now I’m totally okay with it, but not enough for me to voluntarily add it to my Netflix Queue or anything.

7. Indiana Jones. Yes, all of them. I’ve SEEN all of them, so don’t hound me for that. I think it just isn’t really my kind of genre. Okay, maybe that’s a lie, because I really do like action-adventures. I think Indy just rubs me wrong way. Sorry, bud.

6. Terminator. Another one that all of the movies count for, but ESPECIALLY two. I just can’t handle the Ahnold. I’m sorry.

5. Forrest Gump. Maybe I need to give this movie another chance. I saw it about three years ago with a friend and really, really didn’t like it. I haven’t seen it since, but I can’t bring myself to go rent it or borrow it (or just get it from the VHS pile in the family crawl space.

4. Sin City. Just…no. I’m sorry, I can’t even go into detail for this one.

3. Kill Bill. I know I should be PROUD of movies where a woman goes around kicking ass, but I just couldn’t get into them. I do like whistling Twisted Nerve, though.

2. Memento. I would have enjoyed it more if it didn’t F*CK WITH MY HEAD so much. For David Lynch fans, you’ll probably enjoy it. But I don’t appreciate a movie I have to watch three times in the same night just to try to understand. Yeah, sure, it’s genius, but at what cost?

1. The Godfather. I did think the book was okay, but I wasn’t crazy over any of the movies. I’m not saying they were bad; I just don’t quite get the hype. And it’s been a while since I watched any of them – last I saw The Godfather, I was fresh out of high school – but I’m not rushing to see it again. I’m not even walking.

Though I’m pretty sure that I should join some sort of Protection Program or get restraining orders on various CC members, I just don’t like these movies. I may be willing to try them again one day, when I have positively NOTHING to do and a ton of free time on my hands, but until then…well, until then, you won’t be seeing me at Blockbuster with these in my arms.

And I know there’s someone out there that would rather join me than beat me. Commiserate with me, ladies (and gents, if you’re out there).