The Hot Neighbor Situation

I was awakened at 6 AM by construction after the first night in my new apartment. I’m not much of a morning person until I’ve had about two cups of coffee (and the coffee maker has yet to be purchased), so needless to say I was a little disgruntled and unable to fall back asleep. At about seven thirty, post-shower, post-throwing together work attire, I decided to heave open my window and let some sunshine in, hoping it would counter the effects of my sleepless morning. As I looked down to the patio below my window, I saw him.

By K

And he was beautiful. Button down, surely the bottom half of a suit, standing up from finishing his coffee on his patio. And looking up at me…

Looking up at me. So I sort of eeped and stepped back from my window. Sadly, I wasn’t quite at my most beautiful point of the day.

What a predicament. Beautiful man living right below me, single per the landlord’s description, early riser who likes sunshine and fresh air with his breakfast. And the patio element… I need to befriend him, for the summer at the very least. Backyard-ish space in the city is prime real estate, you have to capitalize on it.

As I daydream about my new neighbor, I’m obligated to list my immediate concerns about pursuing someone who lives right below you. Truth is, we’re not all going to end up like Monica and Chandler from Friends; the world is not that kind.

Now, before I get too far ahead of myself, it’s best to remember that he’s well put-together and I haven’t heard a word from him yet. He could be gay. There’s no way of knowing until an official meeting takes place, which will ruin the fantasy altogether. Of course, until you know for sure, the fantasy is still fair game. If he is gay, he will be a perfect new neighbor friend and I can attempt to be a new Grace to his Will, checking out guys together and discussing our mutual fabulousness (this is the fantasy-version of his potential homosexuality as well, I’m truly not an idiot).

If, after the meeting, the conclusion is that he’s not gay, the convenience factor diminishes travel time significantly. However, say things don’t work out. He lives downstairs. You will, without question, see him again. And again. And again. And likely with whoever he’s seeing. How do people do this?

Can you just stay home when you’re involved with someone who lives in the same building? Or have someone else over? How do you have any privacy if he can hear your every footstep? Too much too worry about there.

The ideal situation my roommates and I have concocted, of course, is not to actually hook up with the hot neighbor, but instead to meet his attractive friends. That way, you have no real obligation to the neighbor, you don’t make your living situation awkward, and you can still smile and wave when you pass each other in the hallway.

Have you ever dated someone who’s lived in your building, or tried to make it happen? Tell us your stories, be it dorm-cest or a convenient apartment rental!

[hot guy courtesy of corbis images]