I Like Sex. Does That Make Me a Slut?

June 18, 2008     Posted in Reality, Sex

233222241.jpgSome may disagree (and some may do so strongly), but sex is a large part of many college ladies’ lives. I don’t know if it can be attributed to Sex and the City, or simply a general relaxation on expectations of women, but sexual curiosity and exploration are just more widely accepted these days. Sex with no strings attached has become every woman’s right.


By Noa

So, when I go out and meet a strapping young lad…and find myself sleeping soundly next to him the following morning, I never question it, or myself. And my friends don’t question it either. I am having fun. I am enjoying my freedom. I am making some fantastic memories.

I am a mature, responsible young lady; I may break the rules my mother lived by, but at least I am doing it carefully.

Sharing my sexual exploitations with my friends is so natural – as are their reactions of excitement, glee and interest in the details. We are in our 20’s, having a good time; this is not who we are, it is simply something fun that we may do. I am not saying that we collect sexual partners like I collect shoes; we are just having a grand ole’ time.

A few weeks ago I visited my doctor for my yearly pelvic exam. (Ew.) Before the doctor got down to…business…she performed the mandatory gyno interrogation.

“Are you sexually active?” She asked.

I quickly thought back to the previous Saturday night. The 6’4 basketball player. The cab-ride to his place. The cab-ride home the next day.

“Sporadically?” I laughed.

My friends would have found that answer hilarious. The doctor did not.

Though she tried to hide her personal feelings, the look on her face was one full of shock and concern. The silence was deafening. I quickly retreated.

“No. No, right now I am not sexually active.” Which was partially true. At that moment I was definitely not having sex.

My doc quickly began lecturing me on the HPV vaccine and birth control. Then she asked me if I wanted a pregnancy test. For the love of God – is casual sex really that serious? It dawned on me then that perhaps not everyone feels the way about sex and the sowing of wild oats as I do. I get so used to hanging out with people just like me that I seemed to have forgotten what my lifestyle looks like from the outside.

I don’t care, necessarily; it’s my life and I am enjoying it to the fullest. But it did make me stop and think for a moment. About the possibility of being pregnant, mostly (oy), but also abut the way I present myself to others. I know I am not a slut, but is it possible to enjoy myself without others labeling me that way?

76 Comments on "I Like Sex. Does That Make Me a Slut?"

  1. christie says:
    Wed, 18th Jun 200811:05 am 

    We're all adults and we can do whatever we want to do. I, personally, haven't had sex yet and I don't want a casual relationship either. I have always found something icky about casual sex. It's so impersonal and it devalues sex in a way that shouldn't be devalued. It makes it into a game when it isn't one. In what other game can someone acquire AIDS, HPV, Herpes and other std's?

    I really don't care about how many people someone has slept with. I just don't want to hear about it. When you tell people about your sexual exploits you open yourself to the line of fire. And you will probably be called a slut. You should probably limit your conversations to people who are like you and keep in mind that not everyone treats sex so frivolously or superficially. That doesn't mean that they are not modern women either. You don't need to be sexually promiscuous to be a modern woman and I hope no one thinks that's how a modern woman should be (that would be sad).

    So, I tell you: keep on fucking away to your hearts desire and don't judge women who don't want to.

  2. Conan - Columbia Col says:
    Wed, 18th Jun 200811:46 am 

    It doesn't make you a slut, thats just a retarded double standard patriarchy thing anyways.

    Ladies 're-appropriated' the phrase and use it on each other from time to time, but the fact remains that 'slut' is negative and 'stud' is positive and that makes the whole concept suspect.

    Obviously there are risks to having sex, and mathematics suggests the more you have it, the more you are at risk.

    Hopefully everyone your boning is baggin' it.

    Sex and the City is, for the record, evil for its focus on women as brainless consumers, not because it suggests women enjoy sexual intercourse.

    SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES.

  3. Rick says:
    Wed, 18th Jun 200812:01 pm 

    Slut.

  4. Jade says:
    Wed, 18th Jun 200812:24 pm 

    It sounds like you're living your life to the fullest and the way you want to. and that is the greatest thing anyone, man or woman, can do.

    F*ck what everyone else thinks.

  5. Andrea says:
    Wed, 18th Jun 20081:09 pm 

    Pregnancy is not the issue. Why because you will deal with it if it was to happen ( and you know that.) STDs is something that obviously you don't even think is real. College student right? Well put all those wonderful years of learning into good use. Sex won't just affect you physically it affects you morally. "i'm just having fun, i'm just living my life" so many girls say the same thing and after college they think every differently. Forget the double standard bull shit. Men can be sluts too. Women just seem to think it's okay to date a guy that has slept around, making it okay for other men to have sex. I am twenty as well and i had a few "sins" of my own but i stopped when I started to question my happyness. Here's a a rule to live by "if your conscience makes you think about doing it ( and you even take time to post up ur concern ) then it is most likely a bad thing to do.

    Here's what helped me deal with it. When I meet that one person i will spend my life with I don't want him having a list of all the sex partners he had, or telling me that he has a kid with a woman he doesn't even care about, and even worse telling me that he has an STD. Now listen to this very carefully plase: If i don't expect that from the man I love what makes me think he would want me if i did the same?

    The man i am dating now knows my past and accepts it because i changed my ways. I no longer think like if i am going to die tmrw.

  6. Conan - Columbia Col says:
    Wed, 18th Jun 20081:19 pm 

    The phrase 'quest for happiness' is frightening.

  7. Mollie says:
    Wed, 18th Jun 20081:44 pm 

    Hi Noa,

    I posted a very similar article to this a few months ago. It was about does having a random hookup make a girl a slut. From what you're writing, I had a very similar experience as yours when I was in college and I find nothing wrong with you actions or attitudes. When I read the part about your recent gyno visit I kinda cringed. Yes saying "sporadically" is funny, it is certainly a closer description of what's going on…but really, you should have told the doctor you are sexually active. Hell, you did have sex with that Basketball player the weekend before, right? Besides, even if you hadn't had sex in six months you are still considered sexually active…ok, maybe it's been a while, but once the drought passes you have every intention of doing the mattress mambo. The other thing is while your gyno did flip out, you should get the HPV vaccine (my friend who is a 25-year-old virgin even got it) and you really should be on birth control…

  8. Joshua Wise says:
    Wed, 18th Jun 20082:17 pm 

    I wish it were true. No strings attached that is. Most Americans use sex as a weapon. It blows my mind. Men and women. I don't know where you grew up, but I've never seen a "male dominated" society. Or been around people that applauded male promiscuity but not female. I just see a whole lot of hypocracy and ill will. We need more loving here. Sex makes people friendlier.

  9. Elizabeth says:
    Wed, 18th Jun 20082:29 pm 

    Enjoying yourself while being safe is all that matters. Period. Kudos to you.

  10. Bri says:
    Wed, 18th Jun 20083:52 pm 

    I dont think casual sex is *wrong*, but I think it takes all the best things out of sex. When you are with someone in a relationship or at least know pretty well and like, it just.. feels so much better. Plus, if you dont get to know someone, then you might have just fucked a complete asshole and you've shared your most private self with him, and that's a shitty feeling that most times ends up a regret(I know this from experience)… Also, Casual sex is about pleasure for yourself, which can be totally selfish if things dont go as planned (You know I'm talking about the guys.)

    But no, if you see it differently then go ahead and fuck! But remember, too much of a good thing can be bad. :]

  11. christie says:
    Wed, 18th Jun 20085:05 pm 

    A question:

    Why would you talk to your friends about something as intimate as sex? What's the point of sharing something that is supposed to be private and personal?

    I would never be so eager to hear about my friends' sex life. I would be happy for them but that is enough and I wouldn't want to hear any more. Thank god i haven't been inflicted with any of these sex stories by my friends.

  12. christie says:
    Wed, 18th Jun 20085:22 pm 

    Reading your article was kind of depressing. It has made me realize what sex has become in our society. It has become nothing more than a tool to play with and has lost its original value of something pure and beautiful to experience with someone you love. It is kind of sad that no one sees sex like that anymore. I wonder if I am the only one that wants to experience this kind of sex instead of casual sex? I hope I'm not alone. I'm too good for casual sex and I want to be in a long term relationship before I do initiate sexual intimacy.

    Also, the average sex partners of both male and females is around 11 for a lifetime. So, most of the people in this country aren't really going in a sex frenzy even if it might seem that way. That's something to think about.

  13. Michele says:
    Wed, 18th Jun 20086:02 pm 

    When I went a couple months ago for a yearly checkup, I requested to get tests done for stds and the like. I had been sexually active (sporadically) with a few different guys since a breakup a few months before, and while protection was used each time, I still figured it'd be safe to get tested.

    My doctor's first response to my request was, "What, did your boyfriend cheat on you?" I can't tell if he was consciously using an alternate way of asking if I'd been sleeping around or if he genuinely thought that, indeed, a nonexistent boyfriend had been cheating on me, but I couldn't help but feel that either way his response indicated a societal distaste for girls having random sex.

    Interesting.

    I corrected him politely.

    I think so long as women respect their bodies and show this respect through dignity and politeness to other people when discussing aforementioned female sexuality, societies will come to a more widespread acceptance of the increasing freedom women are expressing their sexuality.

  14. Jess says:
    Wed, 18th Jun 20089:10 pm 

    Right on girl! If a man wrote this article, no one would think twice, yet since you're a woman everyone is freaking out. Some of the comments on here are ridiculous. There's nothing wrong with sleeping around in college, and it doesn't make you a slut. And, no I'm not having sex so people can't be like "well she's just standing up for herself" because that's not true. I think some people are just narrow minded. They think they're so high and mighty for not having sex that they have the right to bring other people down for having it. I personally think they'll probably be miserable when they marry someone only to find out that that person is horrible in bed, but that's just my opinion. A lot of people are still so shallow when it comes to sex. I think your article is empowering!

  15. Jess says:
    Wed, 18th Jun 20089:16 pm 

    Also, why do women have long conversations about whether sex makes them sluts, but you never see a guy writing "Does sex make me a man whore?"

  16. kristen says:
    Thu, 19th Jun 20086:19 am 

    Casual sex with other people does not make you a slut. But one thing i do believe that you should ask your self is, do you know when to stop? Nobody like's the so called rep of being a "slut", so to best i can say is do what your heart desires but dont feel bad when you get a reputation of "yea she is easy, yeah i have slept with her"…And another insite i can say is truthfully suck when women are the only ones who can get a reputation of being a "slut" what happened to Men being "slut"?

  17. Jenny says:
    Thu, 19th Jun 20087:27 am 

    Holy Shit!! Really? I completely agree with you about just having fun. i've never responded to someone's blog before but these people who wrote comments are completely and utterly ridiculous. I feel like all of them are coming from a stand point of "i've had my boyfriend since freshman year of high school. when we have sex it's special." and whatever if that works for them fine but me personal at the age of 20 i'm not even close to settling down. I love my "random play" that I get. I have a saying that I use when people ask me "why do you like being slutty?" I just say, "I do what I do. And I like to do it. No reason but the fact that i was horny." people who accept that are my friends and people who don't well they're not going to be at my next party.

  18. too real from behind says:
    Thu, 19th Jun 20087:45 am 

    On the 'why talk to friends about your sex life q'

    When you have sex, you'll get it.

    Theres stuff about sex you want to talk about that men will not get, and the same is true for us.

  19. amazed says:
    Thu, 19th Jun 20087:47 am 

    To most of the posters: is english your second language, or are you just retarded? Is it that hard to write a coherent sentence and, god forbid, proofread it? I'm all for sexual exploration and amusement, but goddamn!! If you're going to take the time to defend your position, you fail to lend your argument any credence (look it up) when you write like a moron. Maybe put down the cigarette and pick up a book as you lay there enjoying the post-coital glow…I'm just saying.

  20. Jake says:
    Thu, 19th Jun 20089:05 am 

    Why do people always make very unoriginal accusations against people who have out of relationship sex about STI/Ds? Admittedly a larger number of partners can increase the risk, but people who are sexually experienced are generally (I hope) intelligent enough to use protection.

  21. Jake says:
    Thu, 19th Jun 20089:06 am 

    People nowadays who call girls sluts just because they enjoy sex just seem dated.

    http://factsandfriction.blogspot.com/

  22. kayla says:
    Thu, 19th Jun 20089:11 am 

    People are entitled to their own opinions either way. You get all pissy and bitch about the people saying they don't agree with you, yet you call them dated and say they're stupid. Who cares what people do with their lives..whether they choose to have one partner (or none), or have many..it's no one's business. We don't have to talk about it all the time

  23. The Biggest Loser says:
    Thu, 19th Jun 200810:38 am 

    I'm sad cause I'm a virgin! Some people never get to choose to have any partners because nobody wants them. Does anybody believe in pity sex on here? If you're kind of chunky but not over 200 pounds and nobody wants to date you cause they think you're fat even though your just a little above average size, hit me up for some lovin' from a man who loves juicy booty meat!

  24. Jake says:
    Thu, 19th Jun 200811:18 am 

    I don't think I was bitching at all, just indulging in discussion. I definitely agree with you, whatever people want to do with their lives then that's entirely up to them, as long as they don't harm, interfere or obstruct what other people want to do. We're on the same side Kayla, not that it's a fight!

  25. kayla says:
    Thu, 19th Jun 200811:51 am 

    Jake..I didn't mean you in particular…sorry

  26. christie says:
    Fri, 20th Jun 20088:48 am 

    This is for both men and women:

    You can have all the sex that you want with how many people you want. Just don't expect anyone to sympathize with you when you get pregnant, get AIDS, get herpes, or get any of those delightful STDs. Condoms are not 100% effective protecting againsta AIDS or herpes. The more people you fuck the more chances you're taking. You don't want to ruin your life by getting AIDs just because you were horny and couldn't control yourself. Or would you? It's all up to you, of course. THE END.

  27. Heather says:
    Fri, 20th Jun 200811:17 am 

    Slut is a word that was originally used to try and control a woman's sexuality. Do we really need to sit around and discuss if our sexuality meets or exceeds some made up limit (since there is no real definition) of a word that was made to control us in the first place? Let's stop asking these silly questions, and even further, lets stop using the word entirely (even when we are pissed at someone). When we use this word in conversations, we continue to hold our gender back. The word "promiscuous" substitutes just fine if it is really needed, as it can apply to both women and men without discrimination. We all know the risks, involved, we're all adults here, and more importantly, its 2008 and not 1950.

  28. Star says:
    Fri, 20th Jun 20081:26 pm 

    I think the point a lot of us are missing, is that what we really need is love. Sex is just a physical act. Regardless of whether you wait until marriage, or sleep with everyone person you meet, sex doesn’t mean anything without love behind it. So there’s no right or wrong answer as to how many people it’s “appropriate” to sleep with. There’s nothing wrong with waiting till marriage, but I think a lot of the ideas we have about giving away your virginity are only in our minds. My first boyfriend was a jerk, and after we had been sleeping together for a while I found that out. Yet in my next serious relationship, several years later, do you think that it was less special to have sex with him? No. It’s not like once you have sex you can’t do it again. I loved him, and that was something I could give him that I hadn’t given anyone else. I didn’t say, “I’m sorry. I already had sex so I don’t have the ability to love you anymore.” The physical part wasn’t what made it special. It was just as special because of love, and I think the whole concept of sex being a “bad” thing is all in our heads.

  29. Jake says:
    Fri, 20th Jun 20081:55 pm 

    'sex doesn’t mean anything without love behind it'

    I disagree with that. It brings people together, shows trust, releases endorphins that bring pleasure, and oxytocin which helps people form bonds. It's fun, brings pleasure and helps people to relax. Maybe these things don't 'mean' as much as something we big up as much as LOVE, but to me sex still means something.

    http://factsandfriction.blogspot.com/

  30. christie says:
    Fri, 20th Jun 20082:28 pm 

    Really, Jake? How can you trust someone you just met for thirty minutes? Then you're already fucking them in the bathroom stall. Yeah, that's a lot of trust right there *sarcasm*. You can release all of those things by masturbating, too. Also, why would you form bonds with someone that you're likely not to see again if your partaking in a one night stand? Doesn't really make sense.

  31. Jake says:
    Fri, 20th Jun 20083:13 pm 

    I never mentioned one night stands, 30 minutes or bathrooms. I just meant sex without love, or sex with someone who maybe you can't imagine yourself being with forever. It can still mean something and be full of emotions even if it isn't some rose tinted vision of perfect harmony.

  32. Jason says:
    Fri, 20th Jun 20083:21 pm 

    "I Like Sex. Does That Make Me a Slut?":

    If the shoe fits…

  33. christie says:
    Fri, 20th Jun 20084:43 pm 

    Jake:

    You clearly have not been reading the articles on this site then. All of them are about one night stands. They fuck people, get up, and leave. What "connection" is there? I understand the pleasure part but that's it. That kind of sex must get demoralizing after a while since there's no substance and everythig is done so shallowly. You guys sure are into hedonism.

  34. Jake says:
    Sat, 21st Jun 200812:05 pm 

    There's not much wrong with just being in it for the pleasure as long as you're OK with that. Often that's just what people want! And if it's done well then substance and a lack of depth hopefully won't be a problem ;)

  35. kay says:
    Sun, 22nd Jun 20084:09 am 

    Are you from 1856?? Of COURSE it doesn't make you a slut– women and men have the same hormones/sex drive and are entitled to use their sexuality in the same way. Plus, I have absolutely found the most judgemental/"I'm a virgin!" girls to be freaks on the downlow. Seriously. Everyone has sex, everyone loves it. I'm sorry you had such a judgemental gyno though, that's weird. I used to get speeches like that when I was 16, but I think its inappropriate for a doctor to lecture you about sex when you are a 20-something college student!! Maybe you should report him/her.

  36. T says:
    Sun, 22nd Jun 20089:55 pm 

    See above for Sluts Telling Other Sluts It's Okay To Be Slutty.

  37. lil'texas says:
    Mon, 23rd Jun 200810:19 pm 

    This is a completely selfish question, but of the females out there, how many believe that a female having 30 male partners is too many? how many know of friends/family who have had 30 male partners?

    I'm truly not looking for a "who cares?" reply, or a "what does it matter to you?" reply, because this is something that I'm struggling with in my own relationship. I do care, but I haven't had half that many partners in my entire life, and that fact that she was a party girl all about the random hook-up has really been eating at me. Now I know that the past shouldn't matter if you care about the person, but that's the funny thing. It does matter. To me. I guess maybe I'm just being stupid here, but I've been looking around and the national average is 1/3 that number. Would a few anonymous females care to share real numbers with me? Is 30 a lot for a female in her late twenties? Or is that the real average nowadays? Please please let a guy know.

  38. Star says:
    Tue, 24th Jun 20085:39 pm 

    Well lil'texas, I can't tell you what other girls say but I've only been with 2 guys and I'm turning 20. But I am a late bloomer, and probably below the average. If it bothers you this much, maybe you should tell her. It's not that there's anything wrong with her number, but if it's going to continue to make you uncomfortable, maybe you'd be happier with someone else. Just throwing random suggestions out there.

  39. Alex says:
    Sun, 29th Jun 200810:05 pm 

    lil'texas, in my opinion, 30 partners and late 20's is too many….one word 'slut'.

    I'd just hammer her hard then fark her off for a 'good girl'.

    She loves cock dude, if she's not sitting on yours she's probably on your dogs.

  40. emily says:
    Mon, 30th Jun 200810:41 pm 

    30 is more than mine but im also not in my late 20s.. and by the time i reach then, i wouldn't be ashamed (or suprised even) of my number being somewhere up there.

  41. lil'texas says:
    Fri, 4th Jul 20082:21 pm 

    Thanks for the feedback guys…

    Ya Alex – I was thinking the same thing but she's been really good to me/for me. She's not like that at all, and went through some bad crap in her life (caught two serious relationships cheating) which led her on a "i hate men so i'll use them" mission. that said the number still bugs me.

    Emily – you figure you'll be there as well? For real?

    What about 1 night stands? How many has the typical female had? I've only ever had 1 in my life. Am I that sheltered? Have I missed out? Are they totally ok? What's the thoughts?

  42. Caitlin says:
    Sat, 5th Jul 20084:29 am 

    lil'texas, i am not that much of a party girl (yet lol) but one of my closest friends has slept with at least 40 men all together. she's been in a relationship for almost two and a half years now tho. she's never cheated on him. he plans to ask her to marry him, i'm helping him pick out her ring. another friend of mine is in her late twenty's. she's had a good 50 or 60 probably more male partners and she's still having fun with one night stands and week long sex based relationships. the reality? all women are different when it comes to sex. try and put a limit on a female and her body, try and say it's not something women do, i guarantee that there is a girl out there who will happily smile at you and break it just for the sake of breaking it. some party girls are always party girls. some girls settle down for the right guy. if you can get a party girl to settle down congrats your sex life will never be dull lol. always keep her past in mind but not to judge her or to beware of her. to know that you might be the one she sticks with. wait to see, if you are the one she decides to be with.

    for the rest of the article i feel the need to quote the movie Failure To Launch.

    "i'm not afraid of love. i love, love. okay look. i've had a lot of girlfriends right? sometimes i'm the rebound guy. sometimes if i get lucky i'm the explore new area's of your sexuality guy. but every single time, we have fun. i have fun, they have fun, it's good for me, it's good for them. and i would argue that it's damn good for civilization as a whole."

    however many different partners, however many one night stands however many times we break up or get back together, wether or not we settle down, wether or not abstinence is a myth or a reality for us, we find our way in love and in life. some people never settle down and get married. some people get married right out of high-school. get your own set of morals. dont be an asshole. dont cheat and do not help anyone cheat and stick to whatever you believe in. if you need to change that because really you are or will be miserable because of it, life has a way of slapping you in the face turning you back down the right path. always be aware of when you half to do it yourself.

  43. Alex says:
    Mon, 7th Jul 20083:05 pm 

    Emily,

    Pitty you are in the USA!! Come to Australia ;)

    Ditto with you Caitlin….come over to the mighty OZ ladies ;)

    Look all tongue in cheek the post above lil texas, but geez some of the numbers like 50 or 60 for a girl in her 20s is just wrong…I for one would never date/marry a girl like that, yes for sex and a bit of fun, thats it.

    Afterall, guys do want a 'good' girl deep down, i'd rather have a LADY IN THE STREET AND A FREAK IN THE BED anyday.

  44. KT says:
    Thu, 17th Jul 20087:12 pm 

    So, your question is, “Does my sleeping around sporadically make me a slut?”

    Well, if I were an ex-murderer (not caught), and I still killed people sporadically, would that make me a murderer?

    Yeah, of course it does. Does that mean you have to stay that way? No, of course not. Life is about choices. However you decide to justify them is between you and your higher power. Morals and values, right and wrong, haven’t changed since the beginning of time. People changed. We’ve become more complacent with “sin” and generalized evil.

    The idea in our time is, “Well they do it, so if I do it it’s not bad.” That’s got to be the dumbest mindset I’ve ever heard of. The juvenile system and adult corrections is overflowing with those kinds of thinkers. Why are you following along?

    A man who sleeps around is a slut, probably shallow, and will probably ruin any good relationship he has going for him.

    A woman who sleeps around is a slut, also probably shallow, and probably thinks that someday her knight in shining armor will come and the time for “wild oats” will be replaced with unconditional love… yeah, right.

    Both the man and the woman are sluts. And if you really think you’re going to find some special someone that won’t give a damn about your sexual history (if you’re honest), then you’re delusional. I’m sure every person out there who wears their heart on their sleeve will be screaming “foul” at me for saying that, but it’s true. They might love you in spite of your sexual history, but they certainly won’t be ok with it. They might tell you they’re ok with it, but no matter what, every time they run across three other guys you screwed they’re going to feel a little uncomfortable (to say the least).

    Personally, even if I knew you, I wouldn’t marry you. I might be your friend, but I wouldn’t even try something serious with you. I wouldn’t be able to get the thought out of my head of, “How many guys have sweat on her? Let alone any other body fluids…”

    You’re saying that you’re not a slut. Ok that’s your opinion of yourself. But you can’t deny the facts. Have a look in a dictionary, check out that word. Actually, let me give you a hand.

    Unabridged Dictionary (v 1.1)

    Slut:

    1. a dirty, slovenly woman.

    2. an immoral or dissolute woman; prostitute.

    American Heritage Dictionary (2006)

    Slut:

    1. A person, especially a woman, considered sexually promiscuous.

    2. A woman prostitute.

    You need to take better care of yourself. Just because everyone else does it does NOT make it ok.

    My two cents.

  45. james says:
    Fri, 18th Jul 200811:19 am 

    Gross… fuck I hope I never wake up to you some drunken night… it'd be straight to the clinic for std tests. You're worse than a nasty two-cent whore. Know why? Because it's FREE! You tell guys you're with that you've fucked about 100 other guys, right? Fuck man I can't even picture that. I hope you never have kids. If you get pregnant, tell that basketball dude to slug you in the stomach.

  46. lil'texas says:
    Mon, 21st Jul 20087:22 pm 

    Wow James…so much for an intelligent and thought provoking conversation on here. I sincerely hope that:

    1. You are not a slut, because I don't think the world needs anymore of you by accident.

    2. You wear protection, for the reasons of #1 above.

    3. You are 16 yrs old, and you still have a lot to learn. Because as cool and witty as you may think you were being up above this post, well, I don't even know what to say. It was just incredibly stupid.

    Seriously, normally I'd let it slip and wouldn't comment, but wow. Maybe someone pointing out how ridiculous you sound will help. Right now I'm betting you're some punk-ass kid who still wears his pants too low, his hat sideways and high on his head, with some way-too-big shirt on.

    Now you want to know what's really funny? Here I am, pretending I'm someone else, from a place I'm not really from…far from it in fact. And here I am, a late twenties individual who also used to try to act "tough" like you but who finally grew up. And here I am, a successful young (but sometimes confused) executive in a multi-million dollar company…hoping to god that I don't accidentally hire you some day. I still have issues with growing up (see above for example), but I'm glad I'm past those years.

    Hopefully you'll find that one day as well. Cheers,

    Lil texas who isn't from texas…

  47. josie says:
    Sat, 9th Aug 200811:04 pm 

    I do NOT agree with the double standard thing that is actually still around, that guys can enjoy sex and girls "can't".

    I don't agree with that. Sex is a basic instinct. It's in our biology- and when I say "our", I mean humans, men & women alike- to do it. And to like it. What's the problem if a girl likes to orgasm? I think there's be an issue if she didn't.. but that's a different topic.

    Anyway, although I believe anyone can and should enjoy sex… I don't really think sleeping around is the way to do it-that's just me tho!

    If you wanna have casual sex, then hi-five, go ahead. I hope you got off :)

    But don't complain or get all "Oh no he didn't!" if a guy (or girl, even) calls you a slut. Oh come on, you knew you had it coming.

    You're seen as a slut (whether a guy OR a girl) not if you ENJOY sex, but if you do it with random people (yeah, it's random when you haven't known them more than a day….) or just act like it's something to toss around.

    It just looks like you have no self-respect, and no respect for the person you hook up with in the elevator. If you're THAT horny, fucking jack off. Atleast you're garunteed an orgasm…

    Like I said, go out there and ENJOY sex, I honestly dont care if someone does it randomly.. But just to let you 'casual fuckers' out there know, well not everyone who calls you a slut is close-minded.

    We just call it how we see it!

  48. John says:
    Mon, 18th Aug 20086:16 am 

    I realize that this comment might sound harsh, but please, spare me the post-feminist argument that "slut" is a term used to control women. That's bull. Have you not heard of words like philanderer or womanizer? These are old words – used to describe men – that came into the language long before our current "free love" era. It was never ok for a woman OR a man to sleep around; ideas to the contrary are just a myth. If you sleep around, you are promiscuous, whether you are a man or a woman. End of story.

    The nice thing about modern society is that people are free to decide their sex lives for themselves. But don't expect the rest of the world to magically approve of your choices.

  49. negrofucer says:
    Tue, 21st Oct 20086:21 pm 

    your a fucking whore, you need to get an std check you fucking cunt. your a slut, fuck you. u degrade all women, u whore, fucking whore slut fuck slut

  50. negrofucer says:
    Tue, 21st Oct 20086:22 pm 

    hahahahahahaha is fire hot or cold, hmmm, your vag is hot, like a steam room of aids

  51. Jim says:
    Sat, 3rd Jan 20092:18 pm 

    Wow!@! where were you when I was in college??. Actually I DID have some crazy but bypassed opportunities – In my Cornell U. acting class there were two cuties who wanted to do me at once – I think…. I was a little naive back then…. That would have been a memory – one was a bonafied spanish beauty queen – wish I knew where she was now… but seriously, my thought then (as a 19 year old virgin) was "..where's she been and if she's willing to do this with me – so casually – then what else and with how many has she…." Maybe she was too aggressive and I was definitely too chicken – (if your out there baby – email me!!!) ;)

    The point is – I was conservative and I did want sex to be special and I do believe there are guys that feel that way in college now. Sex is not a sport or a form of exercise. After significant post-college life experience, I think frolicking casually in the sack at your age probably does degrade the "special-ness" of having sex. When you tell your life mate you did it with a number of guys in the hundreds …and if he didn't or even if he did … how's all that going to fall out? Your young; you think you got it all figured but.. you don't – I guarantee it – respond to this supposition in 5 years or 10… one last thought – if hubby to be or even you, for that matter, has banged in the triple digits or quad digits %#!f – why shut it down for marriage? –wouldn't HE? and perhaps you think that way??? or would monagamy come natural? or do you plan to "swing" your way through life, love, marriage etc. Seems like a bad plan to me…

  52. Lina says:
    Thu, 11th Jun 20097:28 am 

    OMG! I admire everything you just said and i believe havin casual sex with guys doesnt make u a slut cause ur out there enjoying yourself like you should be and u get a good tip or two from it.
    I do it to, its my daily sex-exercise haha

  53. Annie B. says:
    Fri, 12th Jun 200912:29 pm 

    I personally don't have any interest in one-night stands. I'd rather be with a guy I've known for a while and trust completely, who is preferably not sleeping with a bunch of girls. However, that's my prerogative, and you certainly have your own. It is your body, your choice, your good time- as long as you are using birth control (it sounds like you are) Don't worry about it! Just stick with the people sending you positive energy, such as your peers.

  54. George says:
    Fri, 12th Jun 20093:10 pm 

    Fuck all you want – I wouldn't touch you…

  55. uhyeah says:
    Sun, 14th Jun 20092:48 pm 

    yeah, you're a slut. Everyone likes sex obviously, it is human nature. To not be able to control that in such a matter like you do, means that you are a slut. It's honestly funny to me that you would even take a second to think that you weren't one. Heard of "lust", one of the 7 deadly sins? Yeah… you're a slut.

  56. Paul says:
    Sun, 21st Jun 20096:17 pm 

    Yes, I'm sorry but you are a slut and you do care what people think of you or you wouldn't be seeking the approval of strangers on a message board. Your friends and your sex partners alike most likely think of you in the manner you are trying to avoid. Sorry.

  57. camreo says:
    Thu, 26th Nov 20091:04 am 

    Well, I personally dont believe in casual sex, and I do think that you are not only demeaning sex, but yourself also, by engaging in casual sex. The more women start to accept and engage in casual sex, the less likely men are going to be interested in real, healthy, and true relationships. I dont think that engaging in casual sex is liberating for women, it just makes us look as dirty and promiscous as men.

  58. kevin says:
    Fri, 27th Nov 200911:19 pm 

    Lil texas, I know what you r going through.. cause this great girl I’ve been dating was in fact a total slut.. that’s just the truth. You can sugar coated, thinking that is exploring her sexuality, but just going to bars and picking up guys to fuck, cause you were horny and you’re cute.. uhhh yeah,, slut. Now she tells me that she was hurting herself and can’t believe the things she did. The thing is that I’ve been there too, sleeping around, but for some reason knowing the things she’s done before bothers me. It’s weird. It’s just like punching someone but not liking to be punched back. Know what I mean? Women will always have better and nastier stories that us.. that’s a fact.
    When you meet someone like that and you’re at that stage in life, you think is totally cool, but when you get older and start thinking about a future with that person, those things don’t look so thrilling anymore.
    Believe me, I’m a very open minded guy and I understand that finding an attractive woman who hasn’t gone though a slut face is pretty tough. They’re out there (the good girls) but is not easy to find one, specially if you’re trying to find at a bar or club. You either accept it or pray for a virgin that will never come. I’ve had girls assure me they don’t do absolutely nothing with others but me, only to find out later that they’ve been giving bjs and all other stuff. Soo,, that’s just life.
    Just think about this; for the average Joe going to a bar wishing to get laid is a fantasy. It happens, It does, but not all the time, not that easy. Us guys would have sex, if we could, every single time we go out. Who would say no to a BJ from a cute girl, right? But it doesn’t happen like that. Now, for an average girl all it takes is some make up, show legs, look sexy, and if she wants she will do whatever she feels like. cause guys are reeeeally weak and always available.. Been there,.. cute girl and you say, umm nope not tonight,,, kiss later,, we’re there.

    The other thing that I’ve realized is that I DO know how many women I’ve slept with, but I don’t know how many I’ve made out with,,,, and the really scary thing,, is that you can get herpes soo easily, just by kissing .. and women are more at risk. All those BJs they give, or having guys eat them,, so fun, so innocent until you get infected. Something even more scary is that guys and girls carrying stds wont say anything and just keep passing it on, and on and on. cause is nobodies business, Yeah right!

    Anyways, if you feel uneasy about her past, then either say next or just let it go and move forward with her, cause if not, that crap will always be in the back of your mind. A bad fight and that thing will come out of your mouth, and someone’s gonna get hurt. I’m done here.

  59. Doug says:
    Sun, 27th Dec 20093:52 pm 

    If you like sex with randoms as a girl it does. If you super like it with you boyfriend it doesn't at all. Simple enough?

    Girls and guys are not the same, at all, despite what most feminists sometimes want to claim (when it advantages their gender only). Their sex drives are on average, and all along the overlapping bell curves of male/femal sex differences different. (If you don't understand overlapping bell curves in statistics at a basic, look at the graphics and really get it, level, then do some google research and report back. Because otherwise you're intellectually illiterate on topics like this.) Female's sex drives are far more pull than push driven. Not entirely of course. Girls are pushed by their hormones. Just way less on average than guys. After all, any somewhat below average girl at least all the time can get laid with guys at least as relatively hot in the guy spectrum as she is. Actually with guys considerably hotter. Why? Because most girls, aside from CC girl editors, aren't nearly as into casual sex as guys are. This is partially culturally mediated, as to how total the girl cut off of this is, but it's biological that it's big in that direction.

  60. Keaton says:
    Tue, 12th Jan 20101:45 am 

    There is a difference between a slut and a woman who enjoys casual sex.

    Sluts dress provocatively, sky high heels, too much cleavage/makeup. Everything about them screams SEX, and it seems that they sleep around for the attention rather than the sensations of sensuality.

    Women who simply enjoy casual sex looks like regular women. Their lives consist of things other than sex and demanding male attention. These women (whom I adore with all my heart) celebrate the eroticism, the pleasure and the intimacy with a genuine enthusiasm and self-respect. These are the differences.

    I strongly believe that the other men on this message board are terrified and intimidated by such strong women. Men are often sexually insecure, and to know that women lust just as much as they do makes them terribly anxious.

  61. Natasha says:
    Thu, 4th Mar 20106:05 pm 

    YOU ARE no better than a dog in heat. It can't control it's animal instincts and neither can you. Why not just wear a sign that say 'in heat', I think all you chicks that f any guy that moves you are just gross. Only a fool would marry a person that has f'd that much be you a male or female.

    You have no self control, nor respect for other (why else are you screwing in the back of a taxi cab) Wake up not every one wants to see that, least of all sit in the cab after you greased the back seat.

  62. jchrisb says:
    Fri, 26th Mar 20107:33 pm 

    I wanted to say something. I'm a guy in college currently, and yeah I've had sex with multiple people, and its all good and fun BUT- I will say, I'm currently with a girl I've been with for a year and sex with her is so much more amazing than any sex I've ever had. In my opinion, when you have sex with too many people, sex can just become this.. thing you do. It'll start to just be something you do with someone to get you off… Much better to share it with someone you care deeply about. I completely understand having sex with multiple partners, but I think its a waste of such a precious thing to give it away to some random person you met at a club or a party. Wheres the love, the compassion?

    But I won't judge, just my opinion. Keep doin what you're doin, if thats what makes you happy. Just don't spread STDs. You have no idea how easy it actually is to get an std.

    What happens in college stays in college… but herpes.. that shit'll stick with you.

  63. cole says:
    Wed, 7th Jul 20109:07 am 

    Ew. Why would you take something as fragile and valuable as sex and just dismiss as some fun game where random prizes include herpes, crabs, AIDs, chalmydia, etc. etc. etc.? Why don't you save it for someone you truly care about and love? You might think of it as a casual thing to do but shouldn't you value it and treasure it as something that you should only share with someone you deeply love? Heck it's probably even better that way anyway. I'm sure your gyro thought you were a slut, and who can blame her? "Sporadically" is pretty slutty if you ask me. You sound like a horny college girl that you might see in Girls Gone Wild, so-called "expressing your womanly independence" when you're really just flashing your tiny titties to pedophiles. Before you get an STD stop having sex and save it for someone who you really want to share it with.

  64. Robert says:
    Wed, 21st Jul 20105:09 pm 

    Just because you like sex doesnt make you a bad person. In fact sex is a natural way to connect and relieve stress. I dont agree with Cole saying it should be saved only for someone you love. We all have the ability to share our intimacy with others. Being safe is important as is respecting your body. I'm not saying go be like one of these Sluts, what I mean is you should feel guilty about something that is so natural. I applaude your honesy and willingness to share on the topic.

    -Rob

  65. hayley says:
    Wed, 6th Apr 20114:04 pm 

    i totally agree wit yu! i was usually the one with a serious boyfriend. buttt in between those boyfriends,i had fun. usually,it was wit a veryy close guy friend of mine,& then the next day we were sittin in the same room with each other and sume frends, we'd snicker bout it w/o any1 else knowin. then again,there were a few guy frends i had that couldnt exactly b comfortable after & slowly sighed away after our nite 2gether. overall, in the end, i was just havin fun.
    i was never too much on hanging out with girls; i usually only have one very close girl friend. all the others just happend to end up around me. every one of them thought i was a slut! i'd be jokin about it wit one of my guy frends,or the guy from the night of,&the girls would give me the worse look, like i was gum on their shoe. i wasnt bashful about it, and id usually tell em to ease up and get laid theirselves or i would tell em im just tryin to get enough notches on my belt to make my pants fit right. haa. i found that hilarious!!
    they didnt. needless to say, i have zero girl friends!
    fk em.
    girls just wanna have fun! right?

  66. hayley says:
    Wed, 6th Apr 20114:13 pm 

    also..i'd like to add…
    i hate how some of these people are like.. EW!-aids. EW!-100s of guys.
    no. its protected sex. and its not every night with a different dude.
    hell,none of mine were just random hook ups.
    i knew the guys VERY well.
    and then the whole basketball player doing an abortion is like assuming sexual girls have a pregnancy test and a coat hanger in their purse like its a survival kit!
    wtf?

  67. Cornelius Parkin says:
    Thu, 23rd Jun 201111:50 am 

    Not at all… Enjoying SEX is fantastic, I guess, it just depends if you do it with everyone you see or if you enjoy it with a life partner which makes the difference…

  68. Lorina says:
    Thu, 21st Jul 201110:11 pm 

    Women tend to be judged more upon their sexual history, granted most of the judging comes from other women.

  69. Jason says:
    Sun, 27th Nov 20114:18 am 

    Most people hate paying for their actions. It's actually not politically correct for someone to feel bad about mistakes they've made anymore. At this rate we will tell our children "as long as you stay out of jail you can do whatever you want" at 12. I'm sure that will end up well, but if it doesn't at least they won't feel bad about anything.

  70. aim for the future says:
    Wed, 28th Dec 20117:39 pm 

    yes, it kinda does..

    a lot of people seem to think it has to do with what people are wearing, which is pretty mean in some cases
    but that's not 'neccesarily' related.

    the first comment "OMG! I admire everything you just said and i believe havin casual sex with guys doesnt make u a slut cause ur out there enjoying yourself like you should be and u get a good tip or two from it.
    I do it to, its my daily sex-exercise haha" is pretty much defining slut.
    the analogy, does the evil man think he;s bad? no.. probably not. or the crazy think he;s crazy?
    at least you have a conscious!
    and to the double standards yaddha, guys get the same gavel. sometimes they aren't so loud or talk about it as much maybe?

  71. good advice says:
    Wed, 28th Dec 20118:08 pm 

    a little violent.. but , I guess it gets the point across.

  72. oh yes. says:
    Wed, 28th Dec 20118:09 pm 

    tis hedonism ;D

  73. Onika says:
    Thu, 15th Mar 20121:02 am 

    Ah, me. Been there, done that. I guess what I’m wondering is if you’re a slut by your sartdnads? I tend to think not or you would change your behaviors. So, that leaves two (or more) other explanations. One explanation that I think is pretty damned sure to play a role is socialization. In our culture, women are between that proverbial rock and hard place. We’re supposed to be BOTH madonna and whore. By that I mean we’re supposed to be sexy, be everyman’s route to sexual release, and at the same time be virgins. i suspect this has to do with the ownership thing that goes with the male role in this culture. After all, men own women. If they didn’t, women wouldn’t be branded with the name of what ever man owns them. (Mrs. John Doe? HUH?) So, no matter what you do, you’re doomed to feel you’re doing something wrong.A second explanation that occurs to me is to wonder if there isn’t some awareness that caring easily for others (and that sounds to me like you do love indiscriminately ) leaves you open to a whole lot of pain. By loving indiscriminately, I mean it sounds like you have a big heart and let people in quicker than most. That’s a good thing; very good. But it makes for a lot of hurt, too.Or, perhaps the best explanation is neither of these. I’m just free associating here. Oh. I think i just explained my own psyche. Oops.

  74. Weather says:
    Thu, 12th Apr 20129:11 pm 

    Disgusting whore. Hope you die a slow painful STD related death you slut.

  75. @CeciHrrHrr0_0 says:
    Fri, 27th Apr 201210:57 pm 

    Ok well I'm not 20 but I am 18..
    I have had relationships that were very serious and the sexual intamicy was great, but the relationship ends after a while and I am still a woman. I like sex! I like having sex with people I know. There was a point in time where I did go around more that usual,I got an STD(and all you rude motherfuckers saying go get and std go die, you are not helping at all so shut it).
    Getting that STD did make me think twice about having sex. I layed low on the sex! Now all these people labeling you based on something that society thinks is wrong is bull. Sex is as natural. I dont have random encouters with guys, sure i have guys hit me up to fuck, but that doesnt mean im going to fuck them all!!
    people are quick to judge…
    You know what you are doing, yu know how to protect yourself

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