Top 3 Summer Trends I Want To Smash

Yes, trends come and go, so we should probably just shut up and learn to live with them.

However, that is so not my style.

So, that said, here are the three trends of the summer that I most hate. Agree? Disagree? Couldn’t give a shoop? All fine, but I flippin’ hate these.

(3) Fuchsia Lips

Or, rather, fuchsia lipstick.

Fuchsia lips are an example of a trend that works fine on the runway but fails just about everywhere else. In other words, it looks fine if you aren’t trying to look at the actual person.

In the pictures above, we’ve got two adorable, gorgeous celebrities (Christina Ricci and Beyonce)…and they both look strangely washed out and clowny and old, even with the help of celebrity make-up artists.

Now, I’ve been told fuchsia lips just need to be treated like red lips: everything else should be minimal and then it’s fine. But I’ve got to say, I just don’t think there’s a way to make this trend look appropriate for anything except a rave.

(Disclaimer: If your look is punk, fuchsia’s adorable. Let me just say that.)

(2) Colorful Skinny Jeans

I don’t know. I have a feeling I might just be a fuddy duddy on this one.

But I just think colorful skinny jeans look completely lame.

I mean, jeans are cool. They’re like, I don’t care and I don’t have to try–my ass always looks this good. But the colored jeans, especially the skinny kind, are just trying so hard. They scream, LOOK!!! LOOK WHAT I CAN PULL OFF! when, in fact, I’ve yet to see anyone really look hot in them. Cute, yes. Hot, no.

Plus, all you can wear with them is white or black (or maybe another neutral if you’re lucky). Yawn. I’ll stick with my dark-blue low-rise boot-cuts, thank you.

(1) Scarves Tied Into Triangles

Why, God, why?! WE HAVE NECKS!!! WHY ARE WE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE NECKS?!

Doesn’t whoever is setting this trend know that the neck is one of the sexiest parts of the body? I mean, you wouldn’t wear a turtleneck to seduce someone, right? And showing the nape of the neck is traditionally and universally balls-to-the-walls sexy; that’s why geishas wear their hair up.

And worse, seriously, it’s HOT out this time of the year! Shorts and scarves do not match!!! Why must we putting ourselves through sweaty, itchy hell in the summer just to accomplish the heights of gross hipster fashion?

STOP THE INSANITY!!!!!!!!

So, voila! My top three most hated summer trends.

Got any you want to add?

[Images courtesy of http://thebestdamnthingever.blogspot.com, www.patriciafield.com/, and fashionsphere.wordpress.com/]