Was People Magazine High When Choosing the Hottest Bachelors of 2008? Maybe. And Maybe Not.

Don’t get me wrong, I used to be the biggest A.C. Slater fan ever. My 8-year-old self was madly in love with his chiseled abs, buff arms, and trouble-making personality. I never did understand what he saw in that goody-two-shoes, Jessie Spano. I knew he could do better than her. People magazine agreed. Mario Lopez has been named People Magazine’s Hottest Bachelor of 2008.

People got a few things horribly wrong on their list. It is obvious that someone (or everyone) in the office was on the hippie hash when this list was being made. I mean, what ever happened to the good old days of George Clooney and Justin Timberlake? Not on the list this year. No, my friends. 2008’s list included these people:

Mario Lopez: Really though, what is the guy doing? Sure, he hosts Extra and I think he’s recently come out with some sort of workout videos, but has he ever reached the star-power he had as a member of the Saved By the Bell cast? Is he even good at anything besides showing off his muscles? I think he’s paying somebody off…with really good weed.

Bryan Spears: What? Britney has a brother? And he’s sexy and single? Um, fabulous. But you know what? I think I’ll stay as far away from this family as possible. I don’t care how sexy you are, Bryan Spears, your sister is still a trainwreck and would probably try beating me with an umbrella if I dated you. Not to mention, we’d probably be stuck babysitting for Sean Preston and James Jayden constantly.

Bret Michaels: Seriously, I’m speechless here. Do women still think this man is sexy? And furthermore, how is he still single after all those girlfriend-searching reality shows he’s been a part of? In the People article, he claims his long hair helps him get the girls. Right Bret, it’s working out so well for you; you have to appear on multiple reality shows to find the trashy woman of your dreams. Rock on.

But, People got a few things right when they were choosing their sexy bachelors. The top 3 bachelors People chose after they came down from their drug high (and ate all the chips in the office):

David Cook: I like this one because he’s not the conventionally sexy guy. But he does something that makes him extremely sexy (as opposed to Mario Lopez…which is, oh, nothing). David Cook’s awesome voice and extreme modesty made me swoon after him week after week on American Idol, and clearly I’m not the only one. This man will not be single for long.

Adam Levine: Oh Adam, it’s about time people started to recognize you for the pure sex that you are. Too often overlooked, the Maroon 5 frontman knows how to move his hips in a way that no one else can. Adam, If I Never See Your Face Again, it will be a sad, sad day. But if I never get to see the rest of your luscious body, life might not even be worth living.

The Gossip Guys: Featuring, Chace Crawford, Ed Westwick, and Pen Badgley. If I’m going to be completely honest, I have to admit that I’ve never even seen the show. But I know a sexy man when I see a sexy man, and these guys are it. And with all these hotties in one TV show, I might just have to start watching.

[All images from People.com]