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Gloucester’s Pregnancy Pact: Not Hard to Understand
Everyone thinks living in a small New England town — especially a small New England town by the water — would be the best thing ever. It would be so safe and homey, everyone thinks, so quiet and rustic, no stress! Just miles and miles of cute little houses and a cute little pier to launch cute little boats from.
Let me tell you something – that thought process is sh*t.
Everyone is up in arms about these Gloucester girls who made a pregnancy pact, and no one can understand why anyone would just throw their life away by having a baby before they can even legally buy cigarettes. But I understand. I totally understand. It makes sense. You know why? Because not every small New England town is picturesque and middle class. Some of them are cramped, poor, lonley, and boring as f*ck.
How am I such an expert? I grew up in one. Not the kind that’s stitched onto potholders and immortalized in cute Cape Cod beach shops — the kind where front lawns are strewn with old car parts, you can hear your neighbor’s drunken fist fights from your living room, and schools barely manage to give out textbooks printed before 1983. A town kind of like Gloucester, Massachusetts.
And while my friends in high school didn’t make pacts to all get pregnant at the same time (we were too lazy for that), I knew lots of girls who had babies in their arms before they had diplomas. Why? Some of them were just plain stupid and couldn’t wrap their head around the fact that sperm can get you pregnantt, but others…others simply wanted something to give their life meaning.
When you live in a podunk town where everybody’s dad is either a fisherman or a permanent lackey for some bigwig who lives in Sweden, and the nearest mall or movie theater is 30 minutes away, — there isn’t much money or action to go around. Nothing really happens. Over and over again. Sure, you grow taller, grow hungrier, and have to buy bigger bras, but the passage of time in these small towns is so nondescript that sometimes you feel like you might go crazy. The world seems so big on your television screen — and yet, none of the stuff you see on your rabbit-eared TV will ever be within your grasp.
So you have a baby. Because it’s the one thing that you can make happen. It’s the one thing you have complete power over. The one thing no one can take away from you. Mothers are revered and honored and people give up their seats for them. People notice you when you’re a mom. They don’t notice some 15-year-old walking 2 miles down the road to her jack-sh*t job, but they do notice a young mother who needs help getting her baby carriage onto the bus.
I’m sure reports will come out stating the “real” reasons why all these girls decided to have babies together, but just in case it doesn’t, just know that when your future is bleak and lonely, your past is forgettable, and your present if full of mind-numbing boredom, having a baby — someone that will actually need and care about you — isn’t really all that horrible of an idea.
I’m not condoning it. These girls are probably nowhere near mature enough to handle a child. But I understand it. I completely understand it.
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christie says:
Fri, 20th Jun 200811:19 am
Bunch of excuses. Lots of people grow up poor who live in dinky places and they turn out fine.
kaTie says:
Fri, 20th Jun 200811:46 am
I completely agree. So they should have babies and give them an even poorer livelihood than they already have? Selfish and stupid.
Erica - Kent State says:
Fri, 20th Jun 200812:18 pm
I knew tons of girls who got pregnant in high school & I think a lot of it was for a reason to live. A lot of the girls I knew who had babies had been on drugs, hooking up with lots of guys, severely depressed – & since having kids, most of them have cleaned up their acts. It's not necessarily 'right' – but it is reality.
Ashley says:
Fri, 20th Jun 200812:42 pm
Yeah it seems like being a mother puts you on a pedestal in some Leave It to Beaver clone movie. In reality it's been my experience that you're too covered in puke, poor, urine, and every form of cleaning product (to take care of the previously mentioned fluids)not to mention exhausted, completely stressed out and irritated at the world to notice that people notice you. And if they notice you, it doesn't necessarily mean they will help you, appreciate you, or even do anything more than judge you. All a baby at that age will do is ruin your life. Girls seem to think they'll be these perfect bundles of joy that will complete their meaningless lives by caring about them and being there for them. Yeah right. Kids are notoriously selfish. They take way more love than they give. If you need proof, think about how those girls own mothers must feel. The girls obviously didn't.
kay says:
Sat, 21st Jun 20084:09 am
This is a very good article, addressing a point that is too often overlooked when talking about teen sex/pregnancy/childbearing….Many, MANY teen mothers planned to get pregnant and say their children were not accidental, for the reasons outlined in this article. The bottom line is, if you have ambitious goals/plans for your life, which would be interrupted by having kids at 16, you will make sure you don't have kids at 16. If you don't really have ambitious plans or foresee an exciting future for yourself, you envision kids as a way to prove you are a grown up/get respect from people/etc. Of course once the kid arrives you see it is much more difficult than you ever could have imagined, and your life will never be the same. These girls need resources, ambition, and strong women role models who aren't teen mothers, to make them see that there are other ways to succeed in life.
J - NYU says:
Sat, 21st Jun 20084:34 am
Kay, very eloquently put.
mandi says:
Sun, 22nd Jun 20085:59 am
i think this whole debacle was a very selfish act. so theyre bored and have nothing else to do? yes thats a perfectly legitamate reason to bring a baby into that world. its selfish. so very selfish
katie says:
Sun, 22nd Jun 20087:09 am
I live 15 minutes away from Gloucester, and the way they're depicting it isn't exactly accurate. Yes there are a lot of fishermen, but there are PLENTY of people who do very well for themselves. It's really not some "podunk" town as they're trying to make it out to be. I went to high school with people from Gloucester, went to college with people from Gloucester, worked with people who live there, and am still friends with many people who live there. People can judge all they want..I've heard people berate the principal and the mayor of Gloucester for not handing out birth control because it's such a "catholic" town…well if people WANT to get pregnant, what good is birth control going to do for them?
Dixie - Texas Christ says:
Mon, 23rd Jun 200811:53 am
I'm really glad I read this. Personally, I don't identify with these girls and absolutely would not understand or appreciate the motive behind this…had I not read this post.
Whether or not I agree with what they're doing is irrelevant (clearly), but thanks to Carla I'll run around slightly less ignorant.
Michelle says:
Tue, 24th Jun 20086:01 pm
i live ten minutes away from gloucester and there are plenty of things to do i even go to some gloucester parties its not that boring of a town. the people i know from gloucester love the town. i feel as though there are different ways to deal with being bored than getting pregant