I’m Much Happier Now. WithOUT Religion.

June 20, 2008     Posted in Reality

agnostic.jpgAfter growing up in a world where sins absolutely meant Hell and Jesus absolutely meant Heaven, I never want to use the word absolute again. Except to say that I was absolutely mistaken.


By CC Staff

I was raised to believe that there was a god, one god, and that Jesus Christ was his son. I accepted him into my ‘heart’ and was baptized at an early age. Then I was taught that anyone who didn’t move forward with those two procedures was going to go to Hell; even if they were a good person. Oh, Hell. The fiery pit where bad people burn with the devil.

I once believed this place was real and I could quote scriptures from The Bible as my own little way of reassuring myself that I wasn’t gonna be one of those bad people going to that bad place. I prayed when things weren’t going my way and I prayed when things were going my way. Come to think of it, I spent more time chatting it up with God when I was young than I did my friends.

I knew nothing about earning money, but I knew you were a selfish person if you didn’t give at least 10% of your income to God and your church. I knew that Halloween was for Satan and witches, that Jewish people believed in the same God that I did but were still going to Hell, and that Pulp Fiction was a very, VERY demonic movie that I was never allowed to see.

When I entered adolescence, I started to embrace my Christianity in new ways. I listened to rock bands who screamed lyrics you couldn’t understand…but they were Christian, so it was okay. I wore punky clothes and was straight edge. A straight edge jerk, judging everyone I knew who did drugs or drank or — god forbid — had sex.

I attended three different churches growing up and met all sorts of Christians. Good ones, bad ones, and everything in between. But, as most Christians will be quick to remind you, Christianity is about Christ-not Christians. So let’s forget about the massive churches who have Starbucks booths in their lobbies. Lets forget about the way a person can so eloquently damn another person to Hell, but with compassion. Lets talk about Christ, according to The Bible.

No matter how liberal you’d like to be with your beliefs, that book is still pretty clear about the fact that believing in this guy, Jesus, is the way to save your soul. And the only way. Crazily enough, that was okay with me…until I started meeting people who weren’t Christian. Good people who were more devoted to their respective religions than I ever was started to stand out to me in a crowd. The message of Christ — of peace and love — started to speak much louder than the rules and regulations of religion.

Slowly, but surely, I stopped believing in everything but the peace, love, and golden rule concepts. I started to believe that no religion was absolutely wrong or absolutely right. I started to accept the fact that The Bible was written by humans and no matter how divine their passages may have been, humans are still humans. Eventually, I found myself where I stand today.

I stand in a place where I do not believe in Heaven or Hell. And even if those places did exist, I certainly don’t believe in worshipping a god who would send good people to a torturous place just because they didn’t ‘accept Jesus into their heart’. I believe that there may be something greater than us; in fact, I believe that there probably is. But that doesn’t mean I believe in a god. I just believe that we’re humans and we don’t know the answers. Even if we all collectively contributed our religious experiences to a new religious book, I still do not believe we’d get it right. I do not believe we’re capable of this.

I know that religion means a lot to a lot of people. I am not trying to make a laughing matter of it — particularly not after the years I spent devoted to it. However, I’m much happier now in this place in my life where I can live with an open mind and not have to have even one friend in my social circle who I feel like I need to ‘save’. I’m much happier here with a Pulp Fiction poster on the wall in my living room. I’m much happier having met the guys in the Christian rock bands I once worshipped and having seen that they do cocaine, they have sex with groupies; they are not flawless. I much happier with Halloween.

I don’t believe in absolutes anymore, except for the absolute that that lifestyle was wrong for me.

[Photo courtesy of daretoshare.org.]

21 Comments on "I’m Much Happier Now. WithOUT Religion."

  1. Jane says:
    Thu, 19th Jun 200811:07 am 

    i loved this. it is exactly the way i feel, and you put it into words so well!

  2. Darcy says:
    Fri, 20th Jun 20089:29 am 

    This is really eloquent and refreshing to read. You said everything I feel on this subject, and I really hope more people will be able to see things the way you see them, because I believe the end of institutionalized religion would be one major step towards world peace (is that naive? :-P )

  3. Jakea says:
    Fri, 20th Jun 200812:35 pm 

    We had very similar experiences. Ah the care free days of being a judgmental sXe christian. I was raised Pentecostal, so I had the additional fear of the rapture and end times in addition to the fear of hell. It was a long journey but I'm finally free.

  4. B says:
    Fri, 20th Jun 20085:33 pm 

    that's just sad. how meaningless it must be to not believe in anything…

  5. Alissa says:
    Fri, 20th Jun 20087:48 pm 

    She never said she didn't believe in anything. And even if she didn't, how is that meaningless? Do you know the meaning of life? I bet you don't. I don't believe in God, but I do believe that my life has meaning, because it means something to me. It means something to the people I love, and that's all that matters.

  6. J - NYU says:
    Sat, 21st Jun 20084:37 am 

    Alissa…I don't know what I feel about god, but I know I love that sentiment.

  7. Wu-TangDorkfoshizzle says:
    Sat, 21st Jun 20087:32 pm 

    U know what I think? I'm a loser, and I believe in Jesus the supporter of the downtrodden and the outcast, but not in Jesus the puppet. Make Jesus a mouthpiece for your own opinions or prejudices, and you blasphemize his true message. I am half Christian and half-Jewish, and I've given up on both RELIGIONS and their kissing cousin Islam (jury's still out on Hinduism, Buddhism, Baha'i, etc.), but I do believe in Jesus's teachings and some of the traditions that influenced and followed him. I may not be "religious," but I live a "disorganized religion" of objective ethics and not subjective morals, objective values and not subjective virtues.

  8. Christy says:
    Sun, 22nd Jun 20087:25 pm 

    i think you were somewhat misled when you were religious for several reasons.

    1. no where in the bible does it say you have to give money to anything or anyone or else you go to hell. God doesn’t need your money, and he doesn’t want you to give out of guilt, reluctance or compulsion. It says in the bible give what your heart feels like giving. even if it means nothing at all.

    2. and sure Halloween celebrated the dead, but its what the year 2008, not the 1820’s. what was relevant then isn’t the same now.

    3. sure pulp fiction has got some pretty grapic stuff in it, but its rated R for a reason. But there’s a difference between watching and actually doing some of those bad things. just because you watch a bad movie or a movie with bad scenes in it doesn’t mean you’re automatically condemned.

    4. I used to be straight edge, and I’ve read several books on straight edge and the culture and straight edge is about non conformity, purity, and even self control. Being edge is about abstaining from smoking, alcohol, and drugs. It was never about abstaining from sex, although some straight edge kids have incorporated that into it. Nor was it about having judgemental attitudes and being hardline. That’s the last thing being edge is about, judging or discriminating someone for doing something you abstain from or don’t believe is right or wrong.

    5. what do churches with starbucks booths have anything to do with religion?

    6. sure it says that Jesus is the way to salvation, and I’ll tell you that but not every Christian is going to condemn someone else who doesn’t believe that I mean I certainly won’t.

    7. I also have met many people who are firm belivers in other religions or none at all, but not once have has my first or last thought been “oh well they’re going to hell.” I’ve always looked at people as people, not as a Christian or Hindu or anything of that sort.

    You can be religious and still have an open mind. There’s always more than one side to something. Anyone can talk the talk and say they demonstrate love and peace regardless of religious beliefs or lack there of, but where’s the action that accompanies it? Rob Bell said it best “any movement that isn’t about love. Any movement that hates, marginalizes, or oppresses, anybody or anywhere, no matter what it says or what’s in its name. Jesus doesn’t want a part in it.” http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-825273137571541112&q=Nooma&ei=DdteSIG4M4-GqgObovSWDg&hl=en

    you should check out this other video too: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8899812896367795600&q=Nooma&ei=heBeSJ-hFYT0rQONy6WHDg&hl=en

  9. Audrey says:
    Mon, 23rd Jun 20089:11 am 

    Very well written. I reside in a huge religious grey area (I'm still shedding the effects of forced religion from my childhood). You've said everything perfectly. :)

  10. Kel says:
    Mon, 23rd Jun 200811:02 am 

    I'm a devout Christian myself, but I totally agree that the religion that is taught in Sunday School is NOT what Christ's teaching was about. Being more concerned with following a set of laws is exactly what angered Jesus the most. If you ignore the bs they teach you as a kid at look at the Bible with fresh eyes, you see that the things that got Jesus heated were legalism and hypocrisy in the church itself.

    Jesus was all about loving people no matter who they are. I try to live my life applying the wisdom of His teachings…which somehow does not include "saving myself" for an imaginary future husband, avoiding Pulp Fiction, not swearing, not drinking or judging people who do.

  11. Strawberry Swirl says:
    Mon, 23rd Jun 20084:52 pm 

    wow. u said exactly how i was feeling but never had the words to say. so tell me, do u have a center? my mom told me that whenever she's feeling down or something bad happens, she goes to her center; which is her faith. for me since i don't or have a hard time in believing in God, i find it hard to have a center. sense so many of my friends and families center's is there faith(which actually made me start looking for a new faith and have yet to find one), i was wondering since u don't believe or question all, what filled in or took place in that hole were ur faith use to be?

  12. Devon - UCLA says:
    Tue, 24th Jun 20086:16 am 

    Strawberry Swirl (and whomever else): I DO have a center. I’d actually consider myself to be a very spiritual person. I just can’t look at this world and think that all there is is what meets the eye. I believe that there are tons of forces at work in this universe. I believe in karma, energy, paths crossing intentionally, intuition, and all other sorts of 4th dimensional things that are difficult to explain. I guess that’s the freedom I have now that I don’t feel as though I need to believe in anything set in stone. Now I can simply believe in whatever I feel is right for me. There are even times that I still pray. However, prayer and attention on my own soul and spirit (as well as everyone else’s) have nothing to do with ONE GOD for me anymore. If god can mean anything higher, I suppose as the pantheists would say, then I believe in god. Does any of this make any sense? I guess all I was trying to say with this piece is that you don’t need to feel soulless and empty just because you’ve abandoned the religion with which you were raised. Too often, as even Kel pointed out, religion does more harm than good. The good comes from recognizing the parts of religion that matter. Some of my peers, for example, would argue that morals are irrelevant if there is no god holding us to a moral system. I disagree. Every religion teaches the golden rule to some degree and I just can’t take that lightly. I’ve seen in my own life how treating others the way you want to be treated evens out so many playing fields. But one huge difference between many religions and what I believe is that I believe in happiness NOW. Call it hedonism if you wish, many people do, but I was given great capacities for pleasure and I don’t think that pursuing those pleasures is frivolous-why would I have been given taste buds, laughter, sexuality, etc. if it were? To be continued because I am rambling….

  13. Strawberry Swirl says:
    Tue, 24th Jun 20086:27 am 

    i totally believe in karma, intuition, and second sight. my family has second sight and more my aunt had second sight were she would see people that were meant to die. i do believe in good and evil. mostly because ive seen it or experience it first hand. ive just gotten so use to not believing in some things that its hard to believe in them again.

  14. John says:
    Tue, 24th Jun 20087:50 am 

    I was probably the most Christian of all my friends. Then I learned about hypnosis, and how cults work, and my religion dissappeared over the summer.

    I'm depressed about it.

  15. Ash says:
    Sat, 28th Jun 20081:01 pm 

    This is very thoughtfully put, and a beautiful demonstration of your beliefs.

    I was raised Catholic, but have become Agnostic over the course of my adolesence.

    I believe in a variety of things, but I do believe in a form of higher power, simply because I'm only human and really don't know the truth of anything. But I know people of every religion, of everything but religion, and anything in between.

    I base my life on being a good person, on living my life to the fullest and not being tied down by traditions and other people telling me that just because i don't attend, give money to, or follow a certain belief that I'm going to burn in the fires of hell.

    And it feels amazing.

  16. Nikki says:
    Sun, 29th Jun 20088:56 am 

    Great article. My experiences growing up were very much the same & now I am happy to say that I am also living happy without absolutes. It's a good feeling! Religion tends to cloud the main messages that are pretty simple.. love yourself and love each other. Love does not judge or exclude!

  17. Greg says:
    Sun, 29th Jun 200810:50 pm 

    whoa, i couldnt have said it better myself. i was raised EXACTLY the same way. i have also come to the exact conclusion you have. much kudos!

  18. ..... says:
    Sun, 13th Jul 20089:13 pm 

    nice article. i believe if there were a god, it wouldn't matter whether we believed in him or her, all that would matter is that we try our best to be good people, and help eachother and nature. i also thought that if god were to exist, it would most likely be a female since females are creators in all species and all that… or maybe there is no gender? or maybe there are two gods, one male, one female?? who knows. either way, a god would want us to be naturally good instead fake and just trying to be good so we don't go to hell.

  19. Samuel says:
    Fri, 17th Oct 20083:52 am 

    Dear Devon (and friends),

    My name is Sam. I have led a very interesting life that has given me a very unique understanding of things. I myself struggled at one point and questioned my religious beliefs like most do. I found that Buddhism, Hindu, and other religions do hold some truths and comparisons to Christianity, which is what makes things very confusing, and dangerous. Karma can be related to “you reap what you sow” Galatians 6:7; “sow the wind, and reap the whirlwind” Hosea 8.

    The thing about Christianity is the Bible, which is the only prophetic book ever written by man. God gave all the other religions a challenge and said:

    “‘Present the case for your idols,’ says the Lord. ‘Let them show what they can do,’ says the King of Israel (God). ‘Let them try to tell us what happened long ago so that we may consider the evidence. Or let them tell us what the future holds, so we can know what’s going to happen. Yes, tell us what will occur in the days ahead. Then we will know you are gods.’” Isaiah 41:21-23 (NLT)

    A list of prophecies include:

    1) The Babylonian captivity

    2) The exact length of the Babylonian captivity

    3) The end of the Babylonian captivity at the hands of a Persian king named Cyrus

    4) The prophecies of the “suffering Messiah”

    5) The destruction of the Temple in A.D. 70

    6) The disbursement of Israel among the nations (the Diaspora)

    7) The gradual re-gathering of Israel as a nation

    8) The re-establishment of Israel as a nation in a single day

    9) Israel as a “burdensome stone” among the nations during the last days

    So what about Jesus? It goes like this. God in all his magnificence came down and was born as Jesus, the Man-God. He came down from riches to rags and lived a perfect life, and then was crucified as a sacrifice (an offering) for our sins. What does that mean? It means as Romans 3:23 states “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” So after we continue to fail and fail and fail and fail and fail and come up short and eventually die, his perfect life can be applied to ours… Wow, this is the message so many miss. We just have to believe in Jesus and carry out his will, and to love and forgive. Here is a list of commands God gave to all Christians to follow:

    -’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:37-40)

    -“Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.”

    -”Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

    -”Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the log in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:1-3)

    And as for sex and sexuality, that part is tricky. It is like given a brand new formula one racecar or racing motorcycle at a very young age, i.e. puberty, and all we want to do is just push it to the max as soon as we can. Problem! We don’t know how to drive and take care of such a delicate and powerful gift. We wreck, burnout, break, and wear our gift out. I am sure you know that it is more than physical. It is also a mental, spiritual, as well as physical connection that is meant to be shared with your other half, when you become one with that person. So when we go and abuse this gift, we water down and dilute the ability to make this powerful connection. The problem is we are teens with this awesome gift and the keys to drive it, which as we all know is frustrating. This is why God does not want us to waste such a beautiful and delicate gift.

    I hope this has helped.

    Sincerely,

    -Sam

  20. mkmallory says:
    Mon, 24th Nov 20086:21 pm 

    Wow, i have rarely come across someone with a view so similar to mine. I was raised a Catholic, and was quite diligent until a certain turning point when i was about 17. its also nice to hear someone discuss the subject calmly and reasonably

  21. thanks says:
    Mon, 24th Nov 20086:25 pm 

    reminds me of something my dad would say " you can believe in God without believing in what men say about God"

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