Sex on the Beach: Worth the Unnecessary Exfoliation.

June 23, 2008     Posted in Reality, Sex

beach1.jpgThere are famous scenes from movies depicting it. There are Facebook bumper stickers dedicated to it. There are songs that shout the praises of it. There are how to articles and, hell, it even has search results on Wikipedia. Yet for the entirety of my life, the closest I’d come to Sex on the Beach was double fisting them on Friday nights. This had to change.


By Kari

With the advent of summer upon us, I decided it was high time I was no longer a sex on the beach virgin. I grabbed my manfriend (chuckle chuckle, Carrie Bradshaw) and headed to the shore.

It was a perfect night for just being at the beach, let alone hooking up. Full moon, light breeze and crashing waves. Very romance novel. So boyfriend and I wandered along the beach until we found a secluded(ish) spot.

When we got there, however, I found that I could have done with some good advice before embarking on this adventure. So for all you beach bunny virgins out there contemplating some sea-side action, here is what I wish my experienced girlfriends had told me:

Bring a Flashlight: Luckily for us, the moon was enormous and lit our way pretty well. I happen to be completely blind in the smallest amount of darkness, though, and was petrified of stepping on baby sea turtles. If it’s even semi-cloudy out, a small light should help you navigate.

Don’t forget the blanket! And make it a big one. For a girl who considers a hotel without room service roughing it, I felt surprisingly one with nature. This may have had to do with the stray grains of sand making themselves uncomfortable in my back/chest/butt/eyeballs. I also got considerably less kisses on my neck (my favorite!) because boyfriend kept coming up with mouthfuls of sand.

Consider bringing some “accessories”: The al fresco factor of beach boinking is definitely a plus. I felt so free (cheesy, I know); but while all that open air and exposure to the elements felt g-r-e-a-t when we were cooling off afterwards, it made things a little difficult to get going. Luckily, boyfriend thought ahead to bring lube. This also might help if you are nervous about being caught/ arrested for lewd behavior, leading to distraction. It’s always good to bring back up!

Get creative! Boyfriend luh-huvved the “versatility” it allowed him in positioning. This was a factor I hadn’t even considered, but he said that the consistency of the sand gave him a ton of freedom in his movement, and made everything newer and more comfortable. Next time we get the chance for some S on the B, I plan on capitalizing on my old sand castle building skills. Feel free to dig, mound and pile the sand under your blanket to create new positions– it’s like mother nature’s response to the liberator.

Enjoy the, um, scenery. Now I’m not suggesting you tune out your partner to listen to the breeze, or attempt to synchronize your orgasm with crashing waves (although that would be impressively symbolic), just appreciate the added element it adds to the act. The beach is so gorgeous at night and is practically tailor made for good good lovin’. So get out there and embrace your inner nature goddess; your lucky beach mate will thank you!

18 Comments on "Sex on the Beach: Worth the Unnecessary Exfoliation."

  1. Dana says:
    Mon, 23rd Jun 20083:58 pm 

    My ex-boyfriend and I had sex on the beach once. Some creepy guy walked up to where we were and started watching us…so we got up and ran. I'll never do it again.

  2. Stephanie says:
    Tue, 24th Jun 20087:54 am 

    Do NOT bring a flashlight if you care about the sea turtles. Artificial light disturbs their natural rythms and can trigger a wrong hatching time, leading them to death by seabirds.

  3. Lauren, University o says:
    Tue, 24th Jun 200810:12 am 

    This whole thing sounds really hot and all, but I just don't know if I could handle the sand in my hoohah.

  4. Kari - Florida State says:
    Tue, 24th Jun 20084:01 pm 

    Sand in the hoohah, definitely a drawback. Extreme precaution must be taken.

    Sea Turtles, I belive a retraction is necessary. Ladies, skip the flashlights.

    Sea Birds: F*ck you. Leave the little guys alone.

  5. gregory dykes says:
    Tue, 5th Aug 20089:14 am 

    i want information about meet you

  6. Johnathan-Wataru says:
    Fri, 29th Aug 20085:06 pm 

    I hate sex on the beach, like how the lady said "mayo in her cooch" for Clerks 2, I gotta say getting sand in unwanted places is pretty…well annoying.

    and when you're having sex, really it's hard to be vigilant of your surrounding, how late will it be till an officer is tapping my shoulder asking us what the heck are we doing, probably after watching us for 5 minutes.

  7. hmmm says:
    Sat, 4th Oct 200812:00 am 

    sand can also split the condom. nasty

  8. Shafi says:
    Tue, 28th Oct 20089:44 am 

    sex

  9. bishnu says:
    Thu, 20th Nov 20085:08 am 

    like a sex,hotter, feels

  10. vivek bhutan says:
    Thu, 20th Nov 20085:10 am 

    fuckin in a sand in like a heaven

  11. Cassie says:
    Mon, 1st Dec 200812:06 pm 

    I lost my v-card on the beach and found out that if you position your towel on the damp sand, it won't get everywhere. I never had any unnecessary friction that went on and nobody inturrupted us. (It was also 2am…)

    But yeah, just need a better guy than he was and it would definitely rank as the best I've had…lol

  12. Weltgeist13 says:
    Mon, 26th Jan 200910:14 am 

    some ppll cannot fucin sepell on heer in egnlish.

    Havin sex in sand is pushin dirt up your crack

    GET A ROOM in a BED & show some decency.

  13. drew says:
    Tue, 21st Apr 20092:42 am 

    I banged all my hoes on duh beach for years. Stead of using condoms I wrap my cock INS seaweeds an pumped that pussy all rouff . Then wes used to stuff wet sand in her ass and fucker tip that bleeds.,

  14. Tonya says:
    Tue, 21st Apr 20093:18 am 

    black girl here – hot! My fantasy was to fuck100 white boys on ythe beach and I didover spring break this year in cancun. while. Drinkig I taold a g roup of white boys my fsantsy they said yes. And got there friends – 121 of them I spread eagle and usedcwhip cream as a plunge one after one blew there load on my pussy and ass cum was dripping out my ass and pussy and there was a puddle on the beach,?there was so much cum that we filledcs a drink and I drank it on the rocks. Yummy – white boy cum tastes like heaven and black cum tastes like dog shit and piss together. I came like 50 times . Best time in my life will do again next year. Every sista got a to get some of that sweet white boy milk in there pussy and ass. I kept a bottle of sand as a memory- keep it by my bed to rember when I fuck my white boyfriends. I cum so hard that I shhot out lie like a beer bottle of whitecum. My boyfriend I isvgoinf watch and video next year for the net . Look for it.?

  15. Lisa says:
    Thu, 23rd Apr 20097:07 pm 

    Just has a 3-some in the sand this week – 2 girls and a studmuffin with a 12" thick white cock. We fucked in every position under the moonlight. 69 in the sand is awesome with 2 wet pussies and the dude pumping doggy style. We all came so hard we were exhausted. We all fell asleep together on the beach in one big pile on the blanket. I woke up with the sunrise with the best oral sex I ever had. I just closed my eyes as he wildly licked my cunt. I came so violently that my body shook with convulsions. Then I realized that a stray dog was the one eating my pussy. I felt shame but my two friends were still sleeping. With guilt but pure satisfaction, I poured honey on my pussy and called the dog in for more. Eventually he mounted me as I rubbed his balls. He fucked me so hard that we came together in load moans. After, I playedcatch with him and gave him a bone.

  16. BigBubba says:
    Sat, 16th May 200912:22 am 

    Yo..what's up my peeps..just had somes sex on the beaches with one of latest bitches. Yep, Im a dog. Shes in a wheelchair and she is 86 years old but damm she looks hot. we hooked up at the dialysis center last week. her lips looked good so I threw my swagger at her and asked her out. Not sure if she heard me but she was licking her lips and was staring at me manhood. she said her name was Nancy. She tolds me she always wanted to fuc on the beach but her old man never did. I picked her up at the retirement home on friday night. I borrows a wheelchair van from my bud and picked up. she was looking good in a 1 piece swim suit and her oxygen in her nose. loaded that shit up, puts on some 50 cent pumping in the back and moved that bitch to the beach. drove right out on the beach and dropped her in the sand. her wheelchair was power but hard to move in the sand. i cracks some JD and COke and made some drinks. she knocked down 2 drinks real quick and then she opened her fanny pack and showed me a big bag of Cocaine. she said she wanted to snort it of my dick. I took out my cock and laid some lines on it. she put on her thick glasses and snorted that shit. then she took on her dentures and qiuckly gave me a gum job. While sucking my cock I took off her Depends which were full of wet steaming shit. I yanked her from the chair in slapped her in the sand. I went down on her harry pussy with shit smell and all. best pussy I ever ate. Then I fucked her pussy and shit covered ass with my dirty cock. blew my load then she stopped breathing. I tried cpr, jumping on her chest and slapping her…nothing worked she was gone, Anyway, I fucked her one more time for fun. put her back in the van. Drove off and went to the bridge over the river, I pushed her ass over the bridge in the river, wheelchair and all. She was floating down the river with a smile on her face and I think i heard her moan like she was cuming. One month lateer they found her floating with her fist in her pussy and a smile on her 86 yo face. Peace out my brothers….

  17. Leroy says:
    Tue, 19th May 20095:00 pm 

    There are some funny responses on here – better then the story actually. Keep the responses coming people…..haha

  18. Bubba says:
    Sun, 12th Jul 20098:54 pm 

    Sexy…mmmm

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