Hugh Hefner: Sex MASTER

It’s weird, but I’ve always liked Hugh Hefner.

By Jess

He’s kind of like this quiet, unassuming, kinky playboy who probably laughs as much as he screws. I respect that. He’s made a career out of vaginas and boobs, but he doesn’t really seem skeevy — at least at 80-Something. He seems cool. And really relaxed. Probably from all that screwing.

And while I can’t understand how he can tolerate those three chicks who follow him around everywhere, I do often wonder what life as Hugh Hefner is like.

Apparently, life as Hugh Hefner includes a foursome and a one-time tryst with a man.

Steven Watts, author of the new biography, “Mr. Playboy: Hugh Hefner and the American Dream”, reports that very early on in his kinky career (1949, to be exact), Hugh spent one night sexing his wife up next to his friend and his friend’s wife – who were sexing each other up on the same bed. Hugh wanted to switch partners that night, but no one was biting (metaphorically, of course). Later, Hef was finally able to attain foursome enlightenment – with his brother and sister-in-law (notice the italics. The italics symbolize my amazement that anyone could stand, let alone want, to have sex within inches of their sibling).

Watts also goes on to say that one time in Chicago, Hugh was propositioned by a guy, and being the sex fiend that he was, couldn’t figure out a reason to say no.

What this biography illustrates – other than the fact that Hef was a genuine businessman with a deep knowledge of the male psyche – is that no matter how much of a sex manic your best friend claims to be, they are nothing compared to the master.

So next time that person starts running their mouth about being crazy in the sack, ask them about a foursome with their sibling. If they freak out, just laugh at them, point to Steven Watts’s new book (because, come on, you know you need to purchase it), and say, “Hef did it.”