Teacher Hearts Baseball So Much She Sleeps With Half The (Teenage) Team

People do a lot of things to prove their love for their favorite sports team. They paint their faces blue. They write letters on their stomaches and then flash the jumbotron at half time — in the middle of winter. They beat up other people who don’t feel the same about their favorite sports team. When it comes to dedication, sports fans truly understand the meaning of the word.

But I think this is taking dedication too far.

A 37-year-old Alabama middle-school teacher is being accused of sleeping with 8 members of her middle school’s baseball team. 8 members. All under the age of 17 years old.

Julie Pritchett was apparently already having an affair with one 15 year old boy on the team when she woke up and decided that one little boy wasn’t enough. She wanted 7 more! Because who isn’t into having their own little coven of teenage boys? It’s like Snow White! Except instead of dwarfs and singing animals, you get a possible 20 year jail sentence for being a sexual predator! Yay!

As someone who finds men her own age alarmingly immature, I will never understand the issue of grown women boinking teenage boys. Obviously, there’s some mental problems there, but doesn’t she have a memory? Aren’t her own awkward high school experiences still bouncing around somewhere, begging her to remember what teenage boys are like? But perhaps that’s the problem. Maybe she never got any in high school. Maybe she’s trying to relive her teenage days 20 years too late. I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. It’s still so. very. WRONG.