The CC Weekly Weigh In: Best Rejection Lines Ever

June 27, 2008 4:30 pm     Posted in Reality  Candy -- NYU g+ page

rejected.gifWe’ve all been there.


By Candy

We are at the bar, enjoying our favorite hits from Madonna’s Immaculate Collection with our girlfriends when, BAM, that weird dude shows up out of nowhere. He may be old, he may be creepy, or he may just be plain old gross (no matter how many drinks we’ve had…and yes, we did take that into consideration…what can we say? It’s been a long, dry summer), but whatever the reason we are not interested.

We give all the right signals – our friends drag us away, we pretend that our phone is ringing, we start dancing with other guys – but he just doesn’t get it. What are we supposed to do?

Get creative, of course.

Our writers are weighing in this week with their best efforts at letting the lad down gently.

Britt – Northern Virginia Community College: I ended up pointing to a random huge tattooed guy across the room and said that he was my boyfriend with a huge rage problem. It ended up working and the skeezy guy left me alone!

Sady – The New School: If an uncomely man approaches me, he learns that my name is Andrea, I’m from Wisconsin, I go to NYU, I’m majoring in Art History, and my phone number is [the first seven numbers I can think of, recited with great confidence]. There are a lot of dudes in this town who probably wander around thinking, “wow, that Andrea is a bitch.”

Lauren – University of Michigan: “I haven’t done bikini line maintenance in a few months; it’s your call.”

K – NYU: My former roommate (after finishing her beer) told a guy offering to buy her next drink, “Can’t, I’m pregnant. Thanks though.”

Jess T – Columbia University: Some sleazy photographer kept hitting on me at this party. At one point he says, “I’m looking for my blind date, are you her?”I said, “No, sorry, I can see.”

Jessica – FSU: “I’m sorry, I’m not going to write my phone number on the back of your sub club card.”

J – NYU: “I forgot my phone number” …I was drunk, but it worked.

Devon – UCLA: “I have a baby. It didn’t work out with her dad, so this time, I’m in it for the long haul and I know I don’t know you very well, but you don’t seem like ‘the one’ to me.”

Melissa – College of Westchester: I told someone that “Angels in America” taught me that loveless sex goes against God and that I was going to be celibate for a long time to come. (By “a long time” I meant, “until I met someone who didn’t suck as much as he did.”)

Gemma – NYU: Umm…not returning their phone calls. Does that count?

Noa – UC Boulder: “Maybe if you weren’t wearing a pink Lacoste shirt…tucked into a pair of ill fitting jeans.”

Kathryn S.: I used my high-school level French to explain that I don’t speak English. Ne parle pas Anglais!

Olua: I once told this outrageously persistent dude a long, intricate story about my ex/stalker/soul mate. He looked horrified by the end of it and didn’t talk to me for the rest of the night.

Victoria Witchey: Clearly lacking imagination, I turned a guy down by telling him I was a nun. I doubt he believed me, being it was in a club at 3am.

Sues – University of New Hampshire: “I’m 36 years old and married with a 2 year old.” They totally believed that my friend and I were getting away from our husbands and hanging out in a collegey bar…and I look 18.

Lyndsey – University of Michigan: (After having about 200,000 beers): “No, you can’t have my number because I’m f*#kin’ forty times hotter than you are, motherf*#ker. Get the f*#k out of here, son.”

Think you’ve done it better? Prove it.

17 Comments on "The CC Weekly Weigh In: Best Rejection Lines Ever"

  1. Kel says:
    Fri, 27th Jun 200812:19 pm 

    ha Lyndsey is my favorite!

  2. Erin says:
    Fri, 27th Jun 20087:30 pm 

    Hahah I'm so using the "can't…i'm pregnant" line next time. Awesome.

  3. jenn says:
    Fri, 27th Jun 200810:19 pm 

    Oh well, not sure if ive done better, but when a guy i dont want to talk to calls at night or im approached at a party i usually say "you know what, i really have to go, im late for a doctors appointment"

    with most guys theres a nod of ok and then comes the befuddled look when they realize what ive just said

  4. Iris says:
    Sat, 28th Jun 20085:55 am 

    Once this guy came up to me at a bar and asked me my name… my response: "Not interested." He gave me an awful look and headed the other way.

  5. Koley says:
    Sat, 28th Jun 20082:19 pm 

    Lyndsey – I am SO glad I'm not the only one who has done that. :-)

  6. Mary H says:
    Sun, 29th Jun 20088:33 am 

    Lyndsey, thats pure genius. I'm gonna have to use that one.

  7. Nicole says:
    Mon, 30th Jun 20085:33 am 

    I don't have a phone. I live in a box.

  8. Kiki says:
    Tue, 1st Jul 20088:01 am 

    "Sure..if you don't mind getting down with a pre-op"

  9. Reggie says:
    Tue, 1st Jul 200811:35 am 

    Those lines are good for drunk guys, otherwise they're just flat out rude, and very young sounding. If a guy asks my number and he's sweet, I'll give him a local number with the last digit missing, and if he's a jerk or creep it's extremely easy to just say, "I'd rather not." and if he's persistent I'll just say I gotta pee and leave him, particularily in the middle of his sentence. And if he gets up when you do just flat out say loudly "Don't follow me." It'll get everyone around him staring at him and hopefully make him uncomfortable. Also what I like to do is tell people that are nice that want to see me again – I'll just tell them, "I frequent this bar like 4 times a week so we're bound to run into each other. I gotta go find my friends, bye." Most normal humans can take the hint, and there are other ways to make it clear rather than being spineless and lying outrageously.

  10. jenn says:
    Tue, 1st Jul 20081:32 pm 

    reggie, you dont get it do you? the reason why its so fun and entertaining is BECAUSE its outrageous

    GET A CLUE! Guys do it so girls should be able to do the same without people like u calling them spineless

  11. Don says:
    Wed, 2nd Jul 20084:58 pm 

    Why do you make rejection into a hobby? Why do you want all men to look perfect? Why do you only want men who've fucked dozens of women before? Why can't a lonely, pathetic virgin ever getting anything but rejection from you?

  12. Data says:
    Thu, 3rd Jul 200811:40 am 

    Don —– WOW! Nobody said anything about how the guy looks or how much ass hes gotten! Females get approached by aweful guys sometimes (not based on looks, some guys are just nasty, or whores, or creepy and psycho-ish), and instead of feeling like your pressured into giving out a fake number, why not just fuck with them the same way that they treat approaching us like it's a game when they're talking to thier friends.

  13. Data says:
    Thu, 3rd Jul 200811:50 am 

    I've tried "I don't have a name" "I don't have a number", "I'm gay", "I'm married", "I'm married with 4 kids", " My second childs baby daddy wouldn't give me my phone if a guy called me","You shouldn't talk to me because my boyfriends friends are over there watching me" , "I'm not interested" , when they walk up to you and ask your name, just say "NO" (that has the funniest reaction. But all those haven't really worked for me. The guys don't go away they just keep talking.

  14. tissue says:
    Thu, 3rd Jul 20083:09 pm 

    Smiling politely and go: I'm a man. Still interested? worked once for me.

    :)

  15. James says:
    Mon, 7th Jul 20088:36 pm 

    Rejection is rejection – I'd rather be told something like these that I can laugh about (at least laugh about later) than "be let down gently."

  16. Ellie says:
    Sun, 13th Jul 20088:57 pm 

    This is for guys who persist and are creeps, its not spinless at all.

  17. Donni says:
    Mon, 27th Oct 20089:31 pm 

    I used sign language and pretended I was dumb. It's a moral decision.

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