Reconnecting with the Ex: Is It A Good Idea?

Exactly three months ago, I posted my first post here on CollegeCandy explaining to all of you that a guy I was dating, who told me I was his ’soul mate’, would not sleep with me. We all came to various conclusions as to why he’d behave like this. I let it go. And now I’m back to fill you in on what has happened since I let it go.

He and I kept in loose contact after deciding to end things. Very loose.

Then, I got a text from him about 3 weeks ago, out of nowhere. He was all torn up inside because he had (drunkenly, of course) deduced that I now hated him. And it made him sad. He sorta fell apart in the series of texts that followed. I imagined him lying on his bathroom floor in the fetal position. Finally, still considering him a friend, I invited him to call me if he wanted to talk. And so he did. He called me and we talked for over an hour about how his life has been crumbling before his own eyes.

He still hadn’t had sex, apparently, with anyone.

One conversation led to another; we kept talking more and more.

That same week he got wasted and ended up sleeping with a girl…and didn’t even remember it. All of that celibacy down the drain – wasted on a blackout, instead of what would have been meaningful sex with me. (Not to mention, mind blowing, thankyouverymuch.)

And then it came out:

He still had the same feelings for me.

And he regretted not sleeping with me, but he just couldn’t, but now….now he could and can and will…if I ever let him get that close to me again.

Whaaaaaaaat?! I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Part of me wanted to hang up the phone, drive over to his house and do what I had wanted to do since…well, ever. But another part, a louder and more insistent part, held back.

He really hurt me the first time around. He broke my heart.

Everything was so much easier and more exciting the first time around. It is always that way before the big breakup. It’s like you are overly passionate because you have nothing to lose and you are willing to gamble all or nothing. Now, however, my emotions aren’t on the line with him anymore. And I don’t wanna gamble. I’ve already played that game – and lost.

I’m not necessarily opposed to sex for the sake of sex with him…but should I even bother? Is this a safe road to go down (again)?

[photo from: craveonline.com]