“Dramz and Speedos” — I Love Money: Episode 1 Recap

Being a fan of I Love New York, Rock of Love and, the show that started them all, Flavor of Love, I was stoked to hear about a new show coming to VH1 that puts together the classiest (i.e., trashiest) contestants ever to grace the VH1 stage. Sunday night, I tuned in to see the characters parade in the house (which is totally sick by the way – where does VH1 come up with these ideas?!) and get inevitably hammered, only to compete in ridiculous stunt after stunt. (Can we say The Real World Inferno on crack?)

Let me just comment on a few of the wonderful tidbits of the season premier that reassured viewers that this will be reality at its finest:

Twelve-Pack and Heather. So, Rock of Love’s no.1 craziest bitch is going to get it on with the speedo, spandex wearing drunk who, despite from his abs, is about one tap dance away from being the most sexually confused man on television.

Brandi C. You spray painted your dog pink. PINK. You are not Paris Hilton honey and even she hasn’t stooped to that level yet.

Destiny and The Entertainer???? I don’t know if you watched previews for the season, but it looks like our favorite Bret Michaels groupie shacks up with the oldest pizza delivery boy! This I gotta see.

Megan. Yes, you’re hot as hell from the neck down sweetheart, but please put some clothes on. Have you ever heard less is more?

Hoops. This girl I actually really like. She’s tough, athletic and seems to be smart. However, why introduce us to your live-in boyfriend on the pre-show, only to seemingly play him for “real” this season?

Mr. Boston. A part of me feels bad for this guy; he gets picked on for being the token white, nerdy kid and I think he’s actually just trying to fit in, in some sick, twisted, wear a man-thong around the house all day, sort of way.

Pumkin. ‘Nuff said. Love this bitch. Can’t wait to see the dramazzzz.

Midget Mac. Watching him not get picked made me feel like I was in the school playground, last to get picked for dodgeball again. Maybe they didn’t like him in a speedo? or his attitude perhaps? Your girl is pregnant dude, go home and be responsible.

Toastee. Who wants to put money down that her and someone on the show make a porno? I got 50 bucks on it.

Whether it’s more men in speedos, cat fights or some nooky nooky, we’re all guaranteed to have a good time tuning in every week to this Reality Razzie Award Winner.

Tune in next week when I Love Money takes trashiness to a whole new level (and I recap it in all it’s horrible, horrible glory).