Comments on: Stripper Do or Stripper Don’t: The Girlfriend Dilemma

By: ...

... — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 04:36:33 +0000

Just a bit harsh?

By: John

John — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 04:28:13 +0000

i dont understand how guys in a relationship could do this…how hard is it to consider the feelings of the one you love (i hope its only one)
i think if your in a relationship with someone and they are not ok with you going to watch strippers… then dont!
id just like to say that most guys would never do this, myself included of course

if your in a relationship and your not ok with him being at a stripclub and he goes…do you really want to be with that man

all that crap about going just to have a good time with your friends is BS …if you want to have a good time with your friends…then dont go to a place with naked women

if your single on the other hand you can do wat you want you wont be breaking someones heart back at home

By: Yup.

Yup. — Sat, 17 Sep 2011 09:11:40 +0000

The reason is simple: those men think they need a variety of women to look at, like a woman's body is a form of entertainment, and they get bored with their girlfriend's/wife's. I don't even waste my time with men who want to go to strip clubs while in a relationship; someone who needs a naked woman to have a good time is probably lacking quite a bit of intelligence, anyway.

By: Dierdre

Dierdre — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 03:18:17 +0000

if she went to that extent then you're right to break up with her. She was basically just saying she had no respect for the relationship. people are supposed to be faithful in a relationship, and what goes on between 2 people should only go on between those 2, not any guy who pays for it. You made a good choice

By: Frederick

Frederick — Sat, 18 Jun 2011 07:24:58 +0000

Certainly, the whole debate regarding the social and moral issues concerned in discussing whether or not a man, committed in a serious relationship, should desire to–and if so be allowed to–frequent or simply upon certain occasion visit a gentleman’s club is a genuine one and thus can get quite heated. However, it cannot be ignored how blatantly pointless it is, for no viable argument which someone of a differing opinion will ever consider, and such is how issues regarding the sexual morals of human naturally are.

This is merely because the difference in opinions in these regards, unlike in other areas where it often based upon the factual knowledge and the interpretation of such knowledge of an individual, are determined by the ideological, cultural, and social contexts in which the individual’s frame of mind is set; in other words by factors psychological and environmental, often intangible by logical pursuits and other methods applied in debate. Further, with such factors it would follow that there simply is no proper behavior which to follow in circumstances described in the article.

If this is true, then may I ask the posters above whom in their reasoning citing moral concerns and those whom attempted to enforce their opinion upon others: why in the world should you do so? No opinion on the subject, however contradictory to your own, should ever be shunned, for it is just as correct–no less knoledgable–than any other.

This said, what the author wanted to initiate and which many followed I certainly agree with, for the presentaiton of different outlooks on this subject, and even the experiences and beliefs which define such outlooks truly are interesting.

Personally, I find that, by god, what really matters is that upon such an issue you genuinely agree with you partner, given you really are in a serious relationship, as one’s perspective on this really embodies their sexual morals and behavior. Speaking for my wife and I, never in our relationship, upon any occasion, has it ever occurred to the either of us to visit such a club, and this is simply due to personal preference I figure, as we both find a lounge or gallery upon a night out far more enjoyable. Not to mention, speaking for myself at least, that in terms of my sensual desires, they are fulfilled by my wife just fine, and she is plenty pretty besides.

By: Lilithluv

Lilithluv — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 09:15:41 +0000

Objectification in and of itself isn't bad. We ARE all SEXUAL beings! Most of us fix up our hair, faces, shave etc. to be more 'attractive' to usually the opposite sex. Stripping goes way beyond that and is objectification of women in a way that is not harmless! Evidence of lack of or low level Self-Esteem and Self-Respect shows up in MANY negative behaviors besides stripping: smoking, very risky sexual behavior, eating disorders, staying in abusive relationships, etc. Basically, there's absolutely NOTHING to be proud of or feel GOOD about reducing your body to just a commodity to be sold physically and/or 'visually'! And there IS a difference between the behavior of patrons in a strip bar and a museum that is showing Nude(female/male)ART! The cat-calling, obscene gesturing, drooling and LAUGHING happens at, well, YOU guess which place! Also, I personally would have to ask myself if stripping is what I'd want my daughter to see and aspire to be. Yes, those women on stage are there usually by choice, but she IS somebody's DAUGHTER! I would feel horrible if she were mine(but STILL love her)! No, she's not a criminal and no, I wouldn't hate or reject her, but I sure as Hell would not VISIT her place of work like I would if she were a doctor, teacher or even a ladies room attendant! I've not made much money in my life, and like practically all MEN, I did NOT resort to stripping! I NEVER bought into the idea that my body is a commodity like meat to be sold to pay ANY bill. I don't judge women who feel they need to strip to get thru college or whatever. They're not bad people, just misguided! Hey, try stripping only for your boyfriend/grrlfriend or wife/husband, get SEXY for only EACH OTHER(donate your tip $ to a CHARITY instead)!

By: yo

yo — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 19:14:08 +0000

Oh and read some of these comments and came across Jessica’s, she said this:
“This really isn’t the forum to get into that debate; however, concerned girlfriends everywhere– I just want to say this: Take one second to stop worrying about what “hoo-hoos” are being shoved into your boyfriend’s faces and think of the society that confronts these women with a choice: Strip or don’t eat.

Of course I am not saying that there are no others jobs they can get. But a lot of women don’t have many options. And many women who end up stripping or working in the porn industry are immigrants or non-English speakers who sell their bodies so they can live.

To me, I am more opposed to my boyfriend’s lap being brushed by a naked ass (that’s not mine, of course) because he would be contributing to the oppression of these women– than because I am worried he is going to get turned on.”

Just wanted to say that what you said is ridiculous and a lot of feminists have this issue. They say that women need these jobs to eat and survive, then they go on to criticize the men that make this possible. Look, if there were no guys doing this then these people would starve, you even said so yourself.
There are people working in mines, dying by the day to meet the energy concerns of upper and middle class citizens, you see anyone complaining about this, criticizing people who leave their lights on when they’re not home, saying they are ‘contributing to the oppression’ of these workers?? No, because those workers are damn thankful for it because otherwise their families would starve. So stop judging people for actually making another person’s life possible, it’s not like your boyfriend is chaining the stripper and forcing her to do it against her will.

By: yo

yo — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 18:55:34 +0000

Just thought I’d tell the ladies reading this that lots of us guys don’t even go to the strip clubs for the girls, we go cause its great time with the guys. Getting drunk out of our minds and acting like complete morons means good times.
I’ve even went to the strip clubs a couple of times without bothering to put in my contacts, the strippers looked like a jumbled blur to me but seeing my friend go on stage with a loonie in his mouth and getting shunned by the stripper was all the entertainment I needed!

By: ARC

ARC — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 08:43:27 +0000

I really identify with:

Jess, Geegirl, Candace, Jessica, Brian, Brandi, Suzi, ela, Kel, Sammie & jess

I hurt deeply when I am dating and am emotionally invested (in love) and a boyfriend still wants to go to a strip club, or watch pornography, or sit on a computer to consciously go through photos for sexual appeal.

It hurts big time. Thanks to each of those I listed for sharing, as I feel a little relief knowing I am not alone in this feeling entirely.

I intend to speak to a therapist to see if I can learn 1) why I feel this way, 2) if I can improve this, e.g. "get over it," or if not, how to deal with it in the healthiest manner.

I'm a good looking girl. I have a wonderful boyfriend. He respects my feelings on the porn, and strip clubs, luckily.

Yet, I think it's best for me to stil try to be less vulnerable to this easily induced pain. Understanding it can help me THINK in a way that hurts me less, even if it never is something I can never fully "get over."

I always wonder if I'm "allowed" to feel this way, and express it. I was upfront with my boyfriend, as I certainly don't want to be controlling. I simply KNOW I can't date and feel okay when this idea/issue/feeling arises. I guess it's just that. The idea is what i have the issue with and then I feel hurt.

Enough from me! Hope this helps someone somewhere feel less alone!

By: T

Sun, 25 Apr 2010 13:21:29 +0000

I could never love a man who frequented strip clubs for a number of reasons:
1. I would take him seeking out other women to fuel sexual fantasy-and acting this out to a degree by having her rub herself all over him- as cheating.

2. I couldn't trust a person who views 'buying' people and sexually objectifying them as a legitimate past time.

3. Strippers are boring, it's just a human awkwardly wiggling their body. At first, it's laughable but primarily, it's extremely boring and to find it entertaining and worthy of payment indicates a vacuous nature…and I could never love such a dumb fool.