5 Things Your Dude Secretly Loves

July 14, 2008 Posted in HaHa, Reality

A lot of times, the fighting and rivalry between sexes causes a behavior called ‘reduction.’ Where each sex reduces the other one to a short list of (of I don’t know, lets say 13 or 14) traits, to belittle others and to make themselves feel like the true social scientist they know they are. But, all fun aside, we know that regardless of genitalia, people are actually quite complex. That’s really our evolutionary flaw. We develop consciousness to avoid needing night-vision eyes or long ass necks and accidentally give ourselves all these hangups and fears.

So, with that complexity in mind, let’s take a look at 5 thing’s your boyfriend loves that he might be to afraid to admit to.

5 ) Legos. Alright, not sure why ANYONE would be afraid to admit to loving these, but I see a lack of Legos in college dorm rooms and honestly I don’t know why. Legos are fun sober and SUPER fun when drunk. Maybe guys aren’t afraid to admit that they ‘did love these, when I was a kid,’ but can’t come to grips with the fact that they still think about going back and really finishing that Star Destroyer replica, now that they’ve got the money to buy the right color blocks. Buy your boyfriend Legos for his next birthday, and watch his face light up.

4 ) Unicorns. For some reason these magical, fair and royal creatures of ancient myth have garnered a feminine association in modern day. Which is total bullshit, FYI, since Unicorns are awesome and guys shouldn’t feel ashamed that they love them and wish they could ride them sometimes, or maybe just watch two unicorns eat grass and gently nuzzle each other. Pop ‘The Last Unicorn’ into your DVD player and see what happens. Prediction : 5 minutes of ‘come on let’s watch something else’ and then 1 hour and 45 minutes of wide-eyed enrapture.

3 ) Pro Wrestling. Now let’s move to the other side. Everyone knows guys have trouble admitting that they love stuff that might be perceived as ‘female’ but what about stuff thats inherently ‘male,’ or in this case ‘stupid.’ We love pro-wrestling, we can’t help it. The disdain that we try to muster for it comes not from being ‘too sophisticated’ but rather from having our tiny 9-year-old hearts shattered when we learned that Wrestling is fake and that Hulkamania, in fact, won’t run wild all over the bully at school.

Doubt me? Wiki it and do some research. Ask your boyfriend a question about wrestling characters in the last 2 years, something contemporary. Prepare for an intricate explanation of the storyline. (Additionally I’d like to point out that women get to watch soap operas and call it ‘kitschy fun’ but if men watch wrestling, which is just a man-soap-opera, we are cromagnums.)

2 ) Other dude’s beards. If you’ve ever had a conversation with your boyfriend about how good another guy looks, chances are he either says ‘I don’t look at dudes’ or changed the words ‘Brad Pitt is handsome’ to ‘Ya he’s pretty jacked, good tris and lats.’ The truth is we don’t really admire things like dimples and cheekbones in other men, but we do admire other men’s beards.

Whether we have beards of our own and see some type of knightly brotherhood in another beard wearer, or simply wish we could grow a beard, save losing our girlfriend or our job, beards are something we look at constantly. Occasionally while whispering under our breath ‘yeah, that’s…that’s really nice…really full…I wonder if he conditions?‘

1 ) Bravo Programming. For a channel thats supposed to be for ‘alternative lifestyles’ they sure have a lot of MILF based programming. MILFS in OC, MILFS in NY. We came for the hot older ladies (and hot lesbians on Work Out) but stayed for the sensitive story lines on Top Chef, Project Runway, and Step It Up and Dance.

Has you boyfriend recently been busting some moves in the club? He probably saw them on the ‘Club Battle’ episode, where Cindy cried but eventually overcame all with her classic shoulder brush / collar pop shuffle.

1034912 Comments5+Things+Your+Dude+Secretly+Loves2008-07-14+19%3A30%3A24mapofrussia on "5 Things Your Dude Secretly Loves"

sara says:
Mon, 14th Jul 20083:20 pm

oh lordy, my guy loves bravo.

he watches top chef and sheer genius.

but i love project runway, and he refuses to watch that one.

personally, i think sheer genius is gayer than project runway

Erica - Kent State says:
Mon, 14th Jul 20084:46 pm

when i got to "other dude's beards," i literally laughed out loud. i can not even tell you how many times I have heard one dude compliment another's facial hair.

michael says:
Tue, 15th Jul 20083:18 am

i will tell you exactly why guys do NOT have legos around where You can see them…

we are affraid that you WILL play with them sober, and especially if you are drunk. We spend hours of percise block arrangement, which believe me is pretty hard to do with the picture instruction book they give you. And then we play with it a little, but mostly end up putting our accomplishments on shelfs to look at and bask in our glory.

So keep in mind, if you want to be able to play with them, make it a standard block set (none of the theme sets) But if it really is for HIM on HIS birthday, I suggest batman or star wars, they are the most fun!

Koley says:
Tue, 15th Jul 20085:52 am

So true!! My ex was nearly obsessed with unicorns, legos and Bravo. And his excuse every time I caught him watching Bravo was "Oh! I'm just flipping through!"

sarah says:
Tue, 15th Jul 20086:02 am

The Lego thing is soo true! I am sitting in the office my bf and I share and there are two Lego trucks ON A SHELF staring down at me. && Bravo is every man's guilty pleasure, my bf says it's like a train wreck and he can't look away, but I know he secretly enjoys it!

thanks for the laughs!

allyoueatiscookies says:
Tue, 15th Jul 200812:18 pm

that unicorn has a stellar physique

kyle says:
Tue, 15th Jul 20082:28 pm

where do you guys get this stuff from?

Kevin says:
Thu, 17th Jul 20082:41 pm

I can't say I agree with the bit about Bravo. Personally I think the programming is terrible. I try not to have so much drama in my own life, and I really don't need to see it in somebody else's. I can't see much of a redeeming quality to the programming on that channel. What do I care about fashion designers and arrogant chefs?

John says:
Sat, 19th Jul 20083:48 pm

B.S.

Steve says:
Sat, 19th Jul 20086:12 pm

Lego? Yes.

The others? No.

Let's not be overly credulous here. M'kay?

what says:
Fri, 22nd Aug 200811:01 am

Lego is something in a man's past from when he was but a boy, and like kids cartoons, leave it in the past.

The beards part is true. VERY true, and if a girl has some comments to make about other men's beards she should not shy away, either its funny or respectful and funny. Though I don't think guys are particularly shy about this subject themselves.

Andrew says:
Tue, 3rd Feb 20092:29 am

You see, I'm not exactly what I call a normal male, I hate sport, especially wrestling, but will sit and watch the cricket if it's on, and I can't be bothered moving, I understand the rules, just, the idea of sweaty men, running around, not my idea of entertainment, thank you, it's all a drag, lol, especially the over acting wrestlers UGH!! I love LOVE Lego, I love to watch E.R, and Gilmore Girls, Loralei and Rory make me laugh, so hard, they're hilarious, but I also like to watch Comedy, for Example, Two and half Men, Friends, Dharma and Greg, Big Bang theory, to name a few, I love Unicorns Dragons Phoenixes, and pretty much any mythical/extinct/rare/new/freaky animal, things out of the ordinary really intrigue me, like, if I was ABLE to ride a Unicorn/Pegasus, I'd jump at the chance, who wouldn't wanna ride a flying horse, and command it to crap on your enemies? That'd rock! I actually asked my friends, to pool together, and buy me the Millenium Falcon lego set.. They said no.. Not because they don't wanna, but because then we wouldn't be able to play with the pieces. Lol, the bears thing, no, honestly, I've never had the urge to think about another mans beard, however, I'm somewhat metrosexual, and will say, if a guy is good looking or not, ironically, I'll tell a girl if she's good looking or not, too… >.>

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