He Said/She Said: The Three-Day Rule

Another week, another issue to dissect. This week we ask our resident male what he thinks of the infamous Three-Day Rule. Do guys really follow it? Do they really believe it? Should we all put our phones/laptops away for 72 hours until it is “safe” to contact our love interest? Or, just like all rules, is this one meant to be broken?

He Said:

Hmmm. The three-day rule is an interesting phenomenon, and while, like most of these ‘rules,’ I don’t think one needs to hold to it exactly, it does make sense. Basically what you want to do is send a message that you aren’t a completely desperate freak or some over-obsessed ‘I made a doll with your hair’ stalker. This goes for both men and women. Calling right after a date, while direct, says more then just ‘lets get together!’ It says ‘I have nothing to do, ever!’ And that is a warning sign.

One thing that isn’t often mentioned about what we look for in gals is if they have friends and a solid base of activities and hobbies. The last thing we want (assuming we are well-adjusted) is some girl who constantly calls us with updates on her location, what she had for lunch, and what flavor toothpaste she’s considering. We want someone who can go out on a date, have a good time, and then maybe the next day hang out with her friends, or spend some time with their mom, or even just read a book by herself. As someone who values solitude, a girl who likes time alone is very attractive, because it means I will also get time alone.

I think the three-day rule should occur naturally. If you adhere to the three-day rule, but you spend those three days pacing by the phone drawing sketches of you and your maybe new boyfriend/girlfriend together, it doesn’t matter how long you wait, you’re still a nut ball. Also, it doesn’t have to be exactly three days, but some time after the date, to really consider if it’s worth another one, and that definitely makes sense to me.

She Said:

Ugh. The three-day rule. How utterly annoying. Why is it that two people who have a great time on a date have to wait a few days to say so? Why do we have to play some stupid games that waste time instead of having another great date? Why do I have to run to my phone every time it rings in hopes that the guy that I’m crushing on is calling to tell me he’s crushing right back (and find myself disappointed that it’s just my mom calling to tell me she found bagels on sale)?

Yes, I realize that the chase is a very large part of dating. I have been in the situation one too many times where the guy came on far too strong, far too early and scared me off. But, that doesn’t mean that there has to be a ridiculous standard. I mean, who chose 3 days anyway?

This “rule” is unfair. It does nothing more than force people to adhere to a stupid standard so as not to come off as desperate or crazy. It has become a measure by which people decide if the person they met is way too into it/lonely, or juuuust right. I think it’s bullshit. Just because you want to talk to someone you like after the first date doesn’t mean you are crazy, friendless or have no life.