Project Runway Rundown: The Table Cloth Fiasco

Welcome back, Tim Gunn! Oh, and the rest of you Project Runway people. I can’t tell you how excited I am to have my favorite show back. I even went out to Happy Hour and had a few beers (and a giant plate of fries) to celebrate!

I missed the actual premiere, but caught it on my DVR, which is better anyway…no commercials! Anyways, like every year, the first episode kicked off with us meeting the new designers. I could write my feelings about all of them, but instead I will let you learn about them here. It is a lot less biased (because I am a judgemental bitch)…and there also happen to be just too many for me to remember.

After unpacking their things in their lovely new apartments (girls in one, a large group of gay men – and one straight guy who wants EVERYONE to know it by talking about his daughters – in the other) the designers head up to the roof for a party with Tim and Heidi. Champagne is opened, people talk and everyone tries to impress Ms. Heidi Klum.

And then they have their first challenge: The Gristedes challenge.

Yeah, yeah…that was all exciting and fun. Building clothes out of food! But even more amazing? Austin Scarlet as the guest judge! In a fabulous fedora-ey thingy. Fierce.

So, Tim sets the designers off and they run Super-Market-Sweep Style through the aisles to get all the materials they need for their Grocery Couture. Also known as table cloths. Because that is basically what everyone got. Not the most innovative group of designers, no?

They keep shopping until Tim gets on the loudspeaker and reels em back in. Sidenote: Could you imagine having Tim Gunn announce the specials at your local market? “Sale on Mac and Cheese. Make it work!”

So, the rest of the show was pretty typical for a season premiere. Lots of people making jokes about things from seasons past (“MAKE IT WORK!! HAHAHAHAH”), lots of people freaking out (“I am gonna go home. These trash bags look like TRASH!”), an over-the-top-addicted-to-tanning designer trying to create his own words (“GIRLICIOUS! So…icious!”), and, of course, lots of well-done product placement (TreSemme! Bluefly! L’oreal!)

And then the runway. You can check out (and rate!) all the looks here, but we will just get to the point. Some of that sh*t was dreadful. And some of that sh*t was awesome. (I will not list who one just in case you missed the show…but starting next week, I will spoil it for all you lazies!) I don’t agree with who won, but I do agree with who lost and fully enjoy the fact that some of these designers look crazy. And some will most definitely have breakdowns throughout the season. And one of them (Blayne) will probably get kicked off the show for skipping a runway to hit L.A. Tan.