A guy meets an amazing lady at a bar. They connect on every dot and the night becomes physical, eventually leading to sex. When the two used-to-be-strangers awake, all of the sparks that were there the night before are still there. The two are excited and make plans to see each other again as soon as possible. And they continue to see each other.
The random hook-up at the bar turns into a passionate relationship — whether titled or untitled is irrelevant. It could have been a one night stand, but because of the chemistry between the two people, it wasn’t.
Think this never happens? Well, you’re wrong. Plenty of my friends’ relationships started in this exact fashion and a few of my own past relationships started in the same manner.
Of course the sparks aren’t always there on the morning after, but you know what, the sparks aren’t always there after long-anticipated sex, either.
Sometimes — and I hate to admit it — but sometimes when you wait to have sex, you are, in fact, making sex the focal point of the relationship. You’re doing the exact opposite of what you’ve intended to do without even realizing it. To some guys, waiting to have sex becomes much more like a game that a foundation for a relationship. You set aside an unobtainable thing for a man to desire and he will, a lot of the time, do and say whatever he can to get that thing…regardless of whether or not it’s what he means inside. Does this have any relevance at all to whether or not the two of you are good for each other? NOPE.
I choose to have sex sooner than later — and always safely. I’d rather give a man the opportunity off the bat to drop his in-the-pursuit-of-sex act and show me who he really is. Who wants to waste months getting to know a guy who is still just fronting because he secretly can’t stop wondering when he’s going to have sex with you? I sure don’t.
But for those of you out there who think a man either A) loses respect for girls who have sex sooner than later or B) gains respect for girls who wait to have sex…I simply disagree. Most of my friends are guys and they have backed me up on this: respecting a woman has to do with WHO SHE IS, not long she makes you wait to f*ck her.
Anyone else agree?
[photo from: redbookmag.com]