1981 Called. They Want Their High-Tops Back.

I love fashion. I even love everything that is just soo ridiculous about fashion. Like how sweaters are in store windows in July and bathing suits in January. Or how friends will tease you for buying into a trend that “is so ugly it makes me want to vomit all over you” only to be wearing it three months later (while you have already moved on to something else -that they want to “vomit all over” -all over again).

Or how magazines will spend an entire season convincing you to get rid of your wide-legs because “Skinny is here to stay!” and then four months later, all you see in the same magazine are super-duper-I could fit 5 kegs in here-wide legs that are a “Must Have” for the upcoming season… “Wide legs are here to stay!” Riiiight.

And I even love what is perhaps, the most ridiculous concept about fashion: nothing is really ever all that original. Sure Marc Jacobs (whom I adore and would date if he wasn’t on another team) makes Flannel look effortlessly chic- but at the same time, my brothers wore plaid flannels in high school along with Doc Martens and their Walkman clipped inside their Z. Cavaricci’s (ah the 90’s….).

I’m usually all for fashion comebacks. Since I’m a vintage junkie, I will jump at the chance to wear something that was once the IT style. Partly because I’m a sappy nostalgic- I love the idea of wearing bell bottoms and imagining what my life would have been like had I grown up in the 70’s. I like to give fashion the benefit of the doubt. I enjoy playing dressup. I do believe that a flannel top could be cute. And aside from the recent seasons of awful Maternity wear, I usually look forward to the “New” (recycled) trends coming out each season- wondering what era will be in this year.

That is until I saw these. And I wasn’t sure if I wanted to cry. Or vomit. Or both.

Not only are they high-tops. But they look like my two year old nephew finger painted all over them in the most heinous combination of colors (having a flashback to my 10th grade cheerleading uniform: brown and yellow. Poop and pee. Okay- that might have been worse). What’s next? Scrunchie socks and puff painted sweatshirts? Slap bracelets and stirrup pants with body suits tucked in?

What makes me even more nervous is that my eye will get used to these horrible-terrible-awful shoes that I will (gasp!) eventually want to wear them! And this got me thinking back to all of the trends I felt the same way about… and ultimately ended up wearing:

Uggs

Moccasins

Chinese Slippers

Designer Fanny Packs

Leggings

Butterfly clips

Bra straps as headbands

Maternity style dresses

Super low rise jeans with the band at the top cut off so they frayed

Platform gym shoes

Animal print pants (I distinctly remember feeling SO cool meeting Christina Aguilera in tiger printed pants. Oh. Lord.)

Skinny Jeans

High-Waisted pants with a shirt tucked in (I mean did we not spend the last 10 years trying to get rid of the “Mom-Butt?”)

So lets hear it ladies, I know we are all guilty of this. What trends did you swear you would NEVER be caught dead in… only to be wearing them 2 months later? Would you rock the Reebok’s?

I’ll keep you posted if I end up wearing these bad boys. But I’m thinking if I do, I’ll just buy them in White and actually have my nephew paint them himself.

Then at least they will be unique.