How Did I Miss That?!: Kids Movies That You Can NEVER Watch The Way You Use’ta Again

July 27, 2008 Posted in HaHa

PinkElephantsOnParade College is kind of a weird place, isn’t it? You’re pretty much dumped in an environment where you’re told to think and act like an adult, but I don’t think I’ve seen anything more childish than some of the crazy stuff my fellow school buddies come up with.

By Olua

Now, I’m not complaining; nothing helps paper stress like just sitting around and watching a Disney movie. I won’t disclose how many kids movies I watch on a weekly basis at school, but…well, it happens a lot.

Some time last semester, when I had so much work to do that I felt it was more productive to do nothing, I hunkered down with my girlfriend to watch some good ol’ Disney. And I was utterly horrified. This was a movie I adored as a kid, and now I could barely go a few minutes without hearing or seeing something I knew must’ve gone over my head. And the more I thought about it, the more I wondered…

Why did my mom let me watch this stuff?!

Honorable Mention: The “Night on Bald Mountain” short from Fantasia. I still have problems watching this.

5. Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Really, contextually, there’s nothing bad about this movie. Certainly an evil madman who wants to melt all the cartoons into nothingness isn’t that bad, and no one questions why a rabbit who’s weird even by cartoon standards is married to a chick who’s hot even by human standards. At least, I never thought anything of it. It’s a damn good movie, don’t get me wrong! It’s just…weird.

4. The Little Mermaid My old roommate adores this movie. She had a huge life-size cardboard cutout of Ariel, and she got the DVD as a present for her birthday. While we were sitting there singing along like a bunch of six-year-olds, I realized in between songs that the movie…was a little off. Sexual implications aside (like the fact that when Ariel first becomes human, she has no clothing) or the blatant racial commentary aside (seriously, just LISTEN to the things they say), even Disney couldn’t tweak a screwed up fairy-tale like The Little Mermaid enough to make it seem normal. I don’t know; there’s something just delightfully unsettling about it.

3. All Dogs Go To Heaven This is one of my favorite kid movies of all time, hands down. But Charlie and Itchy have one hell of an abusive relationship, man. Really, if you put their canine counterparts along with two people, you’d be dragging them off to counseling in a hurry. There are also a few pretty scarring scenes, like Charlie dreaming of hell and when he gets “shot” by the tomato stand. I don’t know how this stuff wasn’t nightmare fodder.

2. Dumbo Pink elephants on parade. Nuff said.

1. The Lion King Everyone knew this was a f**cked movie after the stampede scene. I remember my mom taking me to see it and being horrified while I sat on the edge of my seat. I didn’t have that paternal attachment growing up, so it didn’t bother me in the slightest. But beyond that, any kid movie based on Hamlet is just all around a bad idea.

I could go on and on, ladies and gents. This could easily have been a ten part countdown! There are just so many movies that I adored as a kid that are so different now. I still adore them as a sort-of-adult, of course. And I’m not condoning that kids movies should be tamed down to make them more kid-friendly – if anything, they need to go back to the way they were (Wall-E being an exception).

But you know just as well as I do that there are those handful of movies that you just can’t watch the same way anymore.

1071223 Comments2008-07-27+19%3A00%3A21Olua+-+Washington+College on "How Did I Miss That?!: Kids Movies That You Can NEVER Watch The Way You Use’ta Again"

Don says:
Sun, 27th Jul 200810:24 am

The Lion King isn't based on Hamlet, it's based on Macbeth.

Cath says:
Sun, 27th Jul 200810:35 am

No, sorry Don, they were right the first time.

"The story, influenced by the Shakespearean plays Hamlet and Richard III and Disney's 1942 classic Bambi, focuses on a young lion in Africa named Simba, who learns of his place in the great "circle of life" and overcomes many obstacles to claim his place as the rightful king."

Jess says:
Sun, 27th Jul 200812:25 pm

I don't care what it's based on, the Lion King is my favorite movie no matter what. It is a lot different now than it used to seem when I was younger though.

Stephanie says:
Sun, 27th Jul 200812:52 pm

I agree with Jess, The Lion King is my favorite movie hands down..

But, I watched it for the first time in about 10 years a couple of months ago and I realized there were A LOT of things that a kid would not/would not have understood at the age of 5 or 6. . I was about 2 when it was first released and saw it for the first time at around 5.

Casey says:
Sun, 27th Jul 20081:30 pm

Who Framed Roger Rabbit is not a kids movie. I watched it as a kid as I'm sure most every other kid did, but it wasn't intended to be a kids movie. And I still watch Disney movies to this day and find nothing has changed. I think people as adults just read way to much into them, they're kids movies they're not THAT complex.

Olua - Washington Co says:
Sun, 27th Jul 20083:50 pm

Don, trust me when I say I know my Shakespeare.

The Lion King is also my favorite kids movie, hands down. Even if it's based on Shakespeare. Even if it's a blatant ripoff of Kimba: The White Lion. I don't care. It's awesome.

You raise a pretty good point though, Casey. I think we do read way too much into stuff, especially in this day and age where we can't let even the littlest detail pass us by.

Darcy says:
Sun, 27th Jul 20086:43 pm

None of your reasons for these movies being unsettling were very interesting. You basically said, "I don't know why they bother me, they just do"

A says:
Sun, 27th Jul 20086:48 pm

I watched "Dumbo" a couple of weeks ago for the first time in years. The pink elephants scared the shit out of me. I totally forgot about them. I can't believe that's in a children's movie!

caitlin says:
Sun, 27th Jul 20086:50 pm

Also, alice and wonderland. SCARY for a kid!

Cookie says:
Sun, 27th Jul 20086:52 pm

Those are the worst examples you can come up with?

What about in 'The Jungle Book' when all the characters have British accents, except for the monkeys who where all based off African-Americans? It gets even better when they start singing about how they want to be 'real people'.

What about the Indians from Peter Pan? I don't think I even need to comment on that.

Seriously, there are worse things than what you just listed there. I found out what an awful, soul-stealing corporation Disney was a few months ago, and I can't bring myself to watch Disney ever again. Very sad v_v

K says:
Sun, 27th Jul 20087:14 pm

I agree with Cookie. Peter Pan was on TV last night and all of the stuff about native americans is insane! They basically used every stereotype you could think of in that movie.

I also agree with Darcy…there was no substantial reasoning behind any of your choices besides maybe Dumbo.

Olua - Washington Co says:
Sun, 27th Jul 20088:05 pm

Those were all right off of the top of my head, actually. Like I said; I could've come up with a ton more. Or added more things (like the blatant racism in Dumbo during the Happy Heart Roustabouts scene). But I mean, if you guys want a darker/more realistic follow-up to this blog, I'll do it.

I've actually never seen Peter Pan. My mom wouldn't let me. I think that may have been why, in retrospect.

Casey says:
Sun, 27th Jul 20088:35 pm

The only reason most of the racist/ sexual/ etc. garbage is in Disney movies is because Walt Disney hated it and the artists and scripters wanted to see if he could catch what they put in there.

There's a reason kids don't notice these things, it's because as a kid you don't really know about sex and racism and all the horrors of the world. As adults we see things (that may or may not have been intended in such a way) that make us think "OMG THAT'S in a KIDS movie!?" When a kid most likely wont even notice it. I mean their are worse things kids could be watching than Disney movies with "stereotypes" and "subliminal messages" Seriously Disney movies are some of the only good wholesome cartoons out there (well old Disney, not this new garbage they keep putting out) I think people just want something more to bitch about and read into and argue about. It wasn't an issue then, why now all of a sudden? Is it just that times are changing and things are becoming unacceptable?

and you guys forget a lot of Disney movies were made before segregation so yeah there's some racial stuff in there, it doesn't make it right, but it's a part of history. What should they do ban all the great Disney movies because there are a couple things in there that a child wont even realize? Well I guess they did that for Song of the South (which was NOT a racist movie but a movie about a black man on a plantation and a little WHITE boy who was his friend and how the African Americans were such good story tellers. It was a piece of history) Leave it to the ignorant people of today to ban something like that.

CC says:
Mon, 28th Jul 20083:57 am

What a lot of people don't realize is there are many sexual subliminal messages in Disney movies.

Aladdin: on the balcony scene where Aladdin flies up to see Jasmine, the Genie turns into a bee. If you listen very closely (I had to hold the speaker up to my ear) the Genie says some variation (it's hard to tell) of "take off your clothes"

The Lion King: during the fight between Simba and Scar, there is a point where Scar jumps off a cliff to attack Simba, and you can see SEX in the red clouds above. I've heard you can also see it when Simba is lying in the dirt looking at the stars and it's in the sky, but I haven't seen that one myself.

The Rescuers Down Under: the little mice are flying on that bird and fly past a window that shows a real picture of a naked woman. This was in the 1977 version that Disney recalled at the beginning of 1999.

The Little Mermaid: during the wedding scene, the priest gets an erection. People say that on the cover of the video, the castle is designed like a penis, but I haven't seen it that way.

Not to mention in Alice in Wonderland there is a constant reference to drug use: the drink me bottle, smoking caterpillar, and the "growth/shrink" mushrooms.

Despite all of these things, I still love Disney movies and when you're a little kid, you don't notice this stuff. It may be wrong for them to put it in there, but it's kind of funny, too.

Casey says:
Mon, 28th Jul 20084:50 am

You can't blame Disney for the Stuff in Alice in Wonderland, That stuff is in the books too. I've written many many essays on Alice in Wonderland and the bottle, cookies, and mushrooms that make Alice "grow and shrink" are not drug references, they are devices that Lewis Carroll uses to allow Alice to transform between the Adult and Child world. Because the Alice Books books themselves were meant to be a device to give Alice Liddell (and other adults) the ability to revert back to childhood. They are just messed up stories to begin with and the movie would not have been the same if Disney had removed those elements.

But the other stuff you mentioned is in there but like I said it was put in by the artists just to see if anyone would notice. It sucks that there are people who try and ruin a good thing.

Cookie says:
Mon, 28th Jul 20083:42 pm

Casey, Walt Disney was NOT the kind-hearted, patriachal grandfather figure he was always portrayed to be, he was an utterly racist man who, previous to WW2, was interested in eugenics. He was the epitome of 50s male power, the type of guy you'd laugh at on 'Pleasantville' who expects his dinner ready and waiting every night he comes home.

But Disney the corporation, that's so much worse.

This blog explains it better than I ever could: http://www.deusexmalcontent.com/2007/11/montana-b…

And just for fun, a rejection letter from Snow White explaining that women don't do any of the creative work (why? Well…because they just don't. Duh!): http://www.flickr.com/photos/polaroid/632255233/s…

Olua, I for one would love a follow-up on this blog. (You can't tell that I'm really bitter and feel utterly betrayed by Disney, can you?)

Ashlee says:
Tue, 29th Jul 200810:10 am

Was anyone else horrified by the clowns in brave little toaster???

giz says:
Wed, 30th Jul 20087:51 pm

the lion king is also somewhat based on the story of Buddha (Sidartha).

And the "sex" in the clouds isn't that; it's SFX, from the sound dept…. a classic insertion reference done by many animators as a mark of the trade.

Rhiannon says:
Thu, 31st Jul 20084:40 pm

CASEY AND CC: Just because a kid can't eloquently verbalize the messages does not mean that they don't pick up on them. Beauty and the Beast teaches little girls that if you love a beast he will become a prince. READ: If you are in an abusive relationship where you get locked up, denied dinner, your father kidnapped, and mentally abused, all you have to do is love him enough. If you don't believe me there is a documentary about it. Little girls are interviewed saying that if their friend dated someone who acted like the beast they would tell her to stay with him and love him enough to be a prince.

tim says:
Wed, 6th Aug 20086:26 pm

man u are basically right in every movie man expescially in alice in woderland the friggan caterpillar is smoking a hooka and alice puts shrooms in her pocket thats pretty r rated to me man but its still a psychedelic movie tho

what says:
Fri, 22nd Aug 200810:13 am

Wow, whats with the hate on Disney and their movies?

bree. says:
Sun, 7th Mar 20105:39 am

seriously, alice in wonderland is one of my favourite movies of all time. i have always loved it…

Seriously though, i think the whole book/movie is like one massive drug trip.

Lewis Carrol was a drug using pervert anyways.

Alice liddel was his neighbours daughter who he used to always take photos of and shit.

This is not to say i dont think it is brilliant, it truly is.

my only question is…

How is a raven like a writing desk?

Casey says:
Thu, 4th Nov 20107:05 pm

Q: "How is a raven like a writing desk"