Six Ice Creams That Will Destroy Your Bikini Bod

The next time you want to drown your boy problems in a half gallon of Ben and Jerry’s, you might want to read the nutritional info.

By Kathryn S

Newsweek recently uncovered the six most fattening ice cream flavors (Personal note: there wasn’t any real news to cover, Newsweek? Like the upcoming elections, the crumbling economy, or the War on Iraq?). Here are the results of the study, with my personal opinions on whether 6 hours at the gym is worth a scoop or two.

1.Haagen Dazs Chocolate Peanut Butter: 360 calories, 24 grams of fat

This should really come as no surprise. Chocolate+Peanut Butter= guaranteed muffin top. But it’s sooo good! Still, 360 calories will take about half an hour of vigorous cardio on a CrossTrainer, and can you really trust yourself to stop at the teensy half-cup serving?

Fight this craving with: two frozen peanut butter cups.

2.Ben and Jerry’s Chubby Hubby: 330 calories, 20 grams of fat

Umm, did anyone EXPECT fudge-covered, peanut-butter-filled pretzels, swirled in vanilla malt ice cream and rippled with even more fudge and peanut butter to be healthy??? Sure, Ben and Jerry might be a perfect rebound after you spied your ex at the bar with the dorm sleaze, but you won’t be able to fit into your skinny jeans after more than a bite or two.

Fight this craving with: a 100 calorie pack of Mr. Salty chocolate-covered pretzels.

3.Haagen Dazs Butter Pecan: 310 calories, 23 grams of fat

First of all, Butter Pecan is a flavor my grandmother would go for. If I’m even going to think about spending the next month working off an ice cream binge, it sure as hell won’t be because I gave in to freakin’ Butter Pecan.

Fight this craving with: uhhh, anything with chocolate in it?

4.Sheer Bliss Pomegranite with Chocolate Chips: 320 calories, 20 grams of fat

I’ve never even heard of this, but I’m already drooling on my keyboard. Aren’t fruits supposed to be good for you? Damn your misleading ways, Pomegranite!

Fight this craving with: a Pomegranite martini and a Hershey’s Kiss or two. Yeah, the martini packs a lot of calories, but the buzz beats out the fat content any day (or is that just the alcoholic in me talking?).

5.Ben and Jerry’s Vermonty Python: 300 calories, 19 grams of fat

I will give Ben and Jerry credit; they beat Haagen Dazs any day. But because they are the frozen gods of PMS-cravings, they offer far too many reduced fat options to justify getting a third of your day’s fat content from a serving that’s smaller than a tennis ball.

Fight this craving with: The low-fat version of Cherry Garcia or Chocolate Fudge Brownie.

6.Coldstone Cookie Batter: 300 calories, 16 grams of fat

I’d like to interrupt this column with a quick anecdote: for a friend’s bridal shower, I served Coldstone ice cream cakes, and they were worth every calorie-packed bite.

Sure, I’ve given you craving-fighting options that offer fewer calories, but who am I kidding? If you want Vermonty Python, you’re going to keep wanting it until you shove a huge, dripping spoonful down your throat. If you want Chubby Hubby, 100 calories worth of pretzels is not going to suffice. So throw the rule books out the window, grab yourself a scoop of ice cream, and celebrate having the balls not to count calories.

Anything in moderation is okay…and when you’re ready, treadmills and South Beach will be waiting to burn off every succulent bite. Enjoy!