Pre-Partying Just Got Better

Theme parties. Only the best thing to happen to college since the Solo cup.

By K

Think about it: the best pictures of your collegiate years are all from nights where you’re wearing the most ridiculous clothing, are covered in highlighter, or are standing ankle-deep in a foam/beer mix. These are what we live for, and mistakenly document weekend after weekend. (I mean, who thinks it’s a good idea to bring the camera to the foam party?)

We’ve all been to an 80′s bash, been CEOs (or rather, CE-Hos), done anything for an A, and dabbled in the Heaven and Hell parties, sure. But, why keep the themes to the actual event? What if you started the fun a little earlier? Why not take your pre-gaming life to the next level?

I bring you, the Themed Pre-Party:

The Little Kids’ Birthday Party. Birthdays are fun for everyone… so we threw a party for all of us. We went all out: hats, pinatas full of the shot-sized liquor bottles, liquor to make birthday cake flavored mixies, and of course, an actual birthday cake. We had one mostly-sober person in charge of pinata breaking, and (surprisingly!) only one injury occurred (bruising, nothing serious). Best part of the evening? The doorman at our favorite dirtball basement bar let half the girls in without paying cover because we were wearing party hats and said it was our birthday (even though all of our ID’s said otherwise). So much fun!

The Ghetto Fabulous Party. All you need is a $10 pack of Hanes mens’ white tank tops (affectionately referred to as beaters), a dark or colored bra, and a baseball cap, cocked to one side. If you’re feeling adventurous, invest in fake bling, and make your playlist all hard-core rap. Everyone starts the night with a 40 of their choice, and if you’re feeling extra classy, you can even go with malt liquor.

The Classy (ish) Holiday Party. As my roommates and I were of varying backgrounds, we threw a sick Chrismakkuh party (I still have a crush on Seth Cohen) around the holidays, even getting a photographer for the event. We specified in our Facebook invite that cocktail attire was suggested, and we made a fancy, colorful jungle juice. There was boxed wine passed around downstairs, and I think overall we were successful. We even had one of our roommate’s dogs staying with us at the time, and he ran around with antlers on. (We had a sober monitor take care of him—no puppy was harmed in the making of that pregame.)

The Tea Partay. Hello, Yuppie. I’m sure you remember this YouTube segment from almost two years ago (click here if you missed this Smirnoff Raw Tea ad). I own my preppiness, and I think it’s fairly safe to say many a college student has those chach-y guy friends with pastel polo shirts, chino shorts with some sort of critter, and, dear God, let’s not forget the madras pants. (My item of choice? Seersucker.) Almost no one escapes life without buying some form of polo shirt or short skirt, so you’re pretty well set even if you’re not sponsored by J. Crew. Think country club, only drunk. This best coincides with Bar Golf, but can stand on its own fairly well, and you may consider playing Caddyshack in the background. And remember, “no one’s hotter than a New England gangster.”

Got any other ideas?

[Photo courtesy of collegeubiquity.wordpress.com]